I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Contrast & Evasion"A collection of crowns of sonnets
24 total reviews
Comment from Bayberry
This is an awesome posting stretching the mind of readers through excellent poetic elements. The work is apropos in connecting with the dual message of the shouting/softly performance also being shared here. I especially enjoyed your effective enjambments.
because a death is meaninglessly stark
if life is just evasion of the dark.
An exceptional posting such as this should do very well in the contest. Best wishes, Janet
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This is an awesome posting stretching the mind of readers through excellent poetic elements. The work is apropos in connecting with the dual message of the shouting/softly performance also being shared here. I especially enjoyed your effective enjambments.
because a death is meaninglessly stark
if life is just evasion of the dark.
An exceptional posting such as this should do very well in the contest. Best wishes, Janet
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from amahra
My goodness, I took a few poetry classes in college and never heard mention of a Crown Heroic Sonnets before. This site is so educational. I absolutely loved what you wrote. The language was so beautiful. Your word choice, excellent. It was like music to my ears. I can tell this is going to be a tough competition. This is the third one I've read and each one becomes more beautiful as the previous one.
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My goodness, I took a few poetry classes in college and never heard mention of a Crown Heroic Sonnets before. This site is so educational. I absolutely loved what you wrote. The language was so beautiful. Your word choice, excellent. It was like music to my ears. I can tell this is going to be a tough competition. This is the third one I've read and each one becomes more beautiful as the previous one.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from lindalcreel
This was exceptional. I'm still learning about the different types of poetry, but I am starting to love quite a few of the poems, I've found on this site. You have such a wonderful talent. Who knows, maybe one day I too will take the plunge. Until then, I'll just enjoy reading other people's work.
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This was exceptional. I'm still learning about the different types of poetry, but I am starting to love quite a few of the poems, I've found on this site. You have such a wonderful talent. Who knows, maybe one day I too will take the plunge. Until then, I'll just enjoy reading other people's work.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I'm so glad you explained this in the author's notes. As far as I can tell you've met all the requirements so very well. These poems are lyrical as well as inspiring and each carries a deep and important message. I love your use of alliteration and rhyme; it really helps carry the message and makes this long poem flow.
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I'm so glad you explained this in the author's notes. As far as I can tell you've met all the requirements so very well. These poems are lyrical as well as inspiring and each carries a deep and important message. I love your use of alliteration and rhyme; it really helps carry the message and makes this long poem flow.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
You really delve into the deep stuff in this one, Mike, culminating in the final profound couplet: "because a death is meaninglessly stark / if life is just evasion of the dark." This is a particularly striking sentence in II: "...art is but a spade / unearthing thoughts we otherwise forget." And I like this simile in II very much: "the sun aloft like butter for the eye". Excellent enjambment throughout the work keeps the flow smooth.
Possible typo in IV: "As dawn encroaches, wetting our desire." I'm wondering if you meant this to be "WHETTING our desire."
For what it's worth, to me the meter seems a little off in this line in VI and VII: "without any responsibility."
This is a most impressive Crown of Heroic Sonnets, Mike, and I enjoyed reading it. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
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You really delve into the deep stuff in this one, Mike, culminating in the final profound couplet: "because a death is meaninglessly stark / if life is just evasion of the dark." This is a particularly striking sentence in II: "...art is but a spade / unearthing thoughts we otherwise forget." And I like this simile in II very much: "the sun aloft like butter for the eye". Excellent enjambment throughout the work keeps the flow smooth.
Possible typo in IV: "As dawn encroaches, wetting our desire." I'm wondering if you meant this to be "WHETTING our desire."
For what it's worth, to me the meter seems a little off in this line in VI and VII: "without any responsibility."
This is a most impressive Crown of Heroic Sonnets, Mike, and I enjoyed reading it. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from chasennov
'"Contrast & Evasion".' I was very impressed by this poem you created here. I thought the structure was something special, and the formulation was excellent. I did enjoy this read very much, thank you, Mike. Well done.
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'"Contrast & Evasion".' I was very impressed by this poem you created here. I thought the structure was something special, and the formulation was excellent. I did enjoy this read very much, thank you, Mike. Well done.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good string of sonnets. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with need/seed...light/sight...seen/keen...flame/blame...deeds/seeds...sun/fun...joys/toys...gaze/maze...last/vast...man/can...home/tome...fit/sit...mind/bind...wing/sing. Good description and alliteration. Good thought provoking message that holds my attention from start to finish.
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Good string of sonnets. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with need/seed...light/sight...seen/keen...flame/blame...deeds/seeds...sun/fun...joys/toys...gaze/maze...last/vast...man/can...home/tome...fit/sit...mind/bind...wing/sing. Good description and alliteration. Good thought provoking message that holds my attention from start to finish.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from pipersfancy
You've penned a classical study of contrasts. While many would deny the existence of darkness within themselves and fear the darkness outside of themselves, one of the greatest lessons we must learn lies in embracing the duality of our own nature, and of nature itself.
Your use of good end rhymes and maintenance of proper meter throughout make this a smooth read.
Good luck with your entry in the contest,
PF
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You've penned a classical study of contrasts. While many would deny the existence of darkness within themselves and fear the darkness outside of themselves, one of the greatest lessons we must learn lies in embracing the duality of our own nature, and of nature itself.
Your use of good end rhymes and maintenance of proper meter throughout make this a smooth read.
Good luck with your entry in the contest,
PF
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from Sasha
I woke at 4:30 am this morning and found this in my message box. Way to early for my brain to fully comprehend the beauty and full meaning of this one. I admire anyone capable of writing this form. Very complicated and yet shine with such beauty that I wanted to give you a 6, but I got carried away yesterday and used them all up. Stunning work with this one and most certainly a top contender in this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
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I woke at 4:30 am this morning and found this in my message box. Way to early for my brain to fully comprehend the beauty and full meaning of this one. I admire anyone capable of writing this form. Very complicated and yet shine with such beauty that I wanted to give you a 6, but I got carried away yesterday and used them all up. Stunning work with this one and most certainly a top contender in this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Mike, I loved your crown of sonnets. I admire your finesse with this intricate form. The story is good and sets one thinking of how you actually live your life. I think you have sketched various scenarios of how we go about it. To me it says perhaps we are living in a dream world and overdoing things in our adult lives. The innocence of youth portrays life at it's basics. Well penned. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
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Hi Mike, I loved your crown of sonnets. I admire your finesse with this intricate form. The story is good and sets one thinking of how you actually live your life. I think you have sketched various scenarios of how we go about it. To me it says perhaps we are living in a dream world and overdoing things in our adult lives. The innocence of youth portrays life at it's basics. Well penned. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 24-Mar-2014