Dark Embrace
It's so good21 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Not really into vampire chicks, or even the thought of making it with one, but who knows, what could happen with one looking and being built like Kate Beckinsale. Thanks for another gripping and entertaining story. :-)
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Not really into vampire chicks, or even the thought of making it with one, but who knows, what could happen with one looking and being built like Kate Beckinsale. Thanks for another gripping and entertaining story. :-)
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from Muffins
Exciting, thrilling, edge of the seat story. You've taken what could be the obvious and turned into something daring and sensuous. The characters are fantastic, the plot slick and satisfying. Great read. Wow.
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Exciting, thrilling, edge of the seat story. You've taken what could be the obvious and turned into something daring and sensuous. The characters are fantastic, the plot slick and satisfying. Great read. Wow.
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Thank you very much. I really appreciate the great review. You didn't think it was too long did you?
Comment from surrender
Hot and cold. You've handled the vampire theme well. The setting in the beginning is just right for a sunsuous start. No one is able to see her but Emmit.
All through the story, he senses something is not right, but submits to passion anyway. That, I think, is natural and very artistically dealt.
In the ending swings between many options, will she kill him, will she let him go? No, finally they decide to stay together. That was the best option. A good ending!
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Hot and cold. You've handled the vampire theme well. The setting in the beginning is just right for a sunsuous start. No one is able to see her but Emmit.
All through the story, he senses something is not right, but submits to passion anyway. That, I think, is natural and very artistically dealt.
In the ending swings between many options, will she kill him, will she let him go? No, finally they decide to stay together. That was the best option. A good ending!
Comment Written 12-May-2014
reply by the author on 14-May-2014
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Thank you very much
Comment from damettagin
A very erotic and captivating story that climaxed with the characters. Emmit's struggle between knowing what he wanted & that nagging feeling that something was wrong. How could he resist the wiles of a vampiress. The ending was quite unexpected... an ongoing relationship? has the makings of a series. A believer in vampires might disagree with your author notes though & say that you wrote this from experience :O) I'm actually surprised that he survived the physical act.
bar-tender = one word, no hyphen
grabbed both his hands, and penned them to the bed = she's a writer too ? (pinned ?)
A couple typos won't take away from the stars it deserves.
Sensuality oozing from the pages, an awesome read.
Best of luck in the contest
:) Dame
*shower time*
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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A very erotic and captivating story that climaxed with the characters. Emmit's struggle between knowing what he wanted & that nagging feeling that something was wrong. How could he resist the wiles of a vampiress. The ending was quite unexpected... an ongoing relationship? has the makings of a series. A believer in vampires might disagree with your author notes though & say that you wrote this from experience :O) I'm actually surprised that he survived the physical act.
bar-tender = one word, no hyphen
grabbed both his hands, and penned them to the bed = she's a writer too ? (pinned ?)
A couple typos won't take away from the stars it deserves.
Sensuality oozing from the pages, an awesome read.
Best of luck in the contest
:) Dame
*shower time*
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you very much, Dame. I appreciate the great review and your keen eyes. I will fix those.
Comment from c_lucas
He wouldn't be the first male that risk death for sex. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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He wouldn't be the first male that risk death for sex. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you very much.
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You're welcome, Lancellot. Charlie
Comment from WritingsByG
OMG That is the best Vampire story I have read in years. It would make a great short film. I am extremely impressed with the way you have been able to go outside the box of the stereotypical vampire legend. This is, I'll say again, the best I've ever read. You build the story nicely, the passion is so strong it gave me an erection.
Then you tie in the human caring with a loving vampire with a human desire for love. Way to go, way to go!
Thank you for the best read I've had in a long time.
You are really letting loose with the courage to go for it, I'm loving it!
G
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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OMG That is the best Vampire story I have read in years. It would make a great short film. I am extremely impressed with the way you have been able to go outside the box of the stereotypical vampire legend. This is, I'll say again, the best I've ever read. You build the story nicely, the passion is so strong it gave me an erection.
Then you tie in the human caring with a loving vampire with a human desire for love. Way to go, way to go!
Thank you for the best read I've had in a long time.
You are really letting loose with the courage to go for it, I'm loving it!
G
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you very much. This is a great compliment coming from you.
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You deserve it. :-)
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Wow! This is really well done for the topic. I'm impressed. I thought she would kill him and it would be just another horror story. But you created the perfect ending! This looks like a winner to me. :)
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Wow! This is really well done for the topic. I'm impressed. I thought she would kill him and it would be just another horror story. But you created the perfect ending! This looks like a winner to me. :)
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you very much. I did write a version where she does kill him and then goes back to the club the next day for another guy.
Comment from Terrie DeGolier
Are you sure you don't already write for Play Boy or Hustler or something? lol Great story, super characters and a lot of passion without vulgarity. Excellent read. If you don't win this contest I'm gonna be pissed. Terrie
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Are you sure you don't already write for Play Boy or Hustler or something? lol Great story, super characters and a lot of passion without vulgarity. Excellent read. If you don't win this contest I'm gonna be pissed. Terrie
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you very much, Terrie. I appreciate the great review. If it doesn't win, that's fine, there are many great entries.
Comment from Dean Kuch
sen.su.al.i.ty [sen-shoo-al-I-tee]
noun, plural sen.su.al.i.ties.
1. sensual nature: the sensuality of Keats's poetry.
2. unrestrained indulgence in sensual pleasures.
3. lewdness; unchastity.
I lean towards my belief that your well written story falls on the third definition of the meanings of the word, sensuality here, Lance. But I really enjoyed it! (Is that wrong?)
Now, why do our characters do stupid things in horror/thriller stories? Well, because there wouldn't be a story if they didn't, right? When Emmitt heard Eva speaking in his head, and she knew his name even before he'd told her; in the real world, seductively tantalizing or not, we're runnun' away from the bitch! But, not Emmitt. He leaves with Eva, even though he has an uneasy feeling about her. It's as if he was hypnotized. In other words, Emmitt did what most guys do. He allowed the little head to do the thinking for his larger, more brainy one.
And, talk about your rough lays! Eva could put the most experienced dominatrix to shame, hands down. Crushing hands, breaking bed boards (and nearly Emmitt's bones!)...Couldn't it be said, however, given Eva's unique disposition, that she was still a... dead lay? Heh heh.
Well, all in all, at least it worked out for the both of them. Now, they've vowed to live? a life together as boyfriend and girlfiend. Well, you know what they say? Opposites attract!
Well done, Lancellot!
~5 out of 5 SKULLS~
"He swallowed a dry throat at the sight of her dark nipples..."---->Really?! He swallowed his own throat? Of course I'm joking you a bit here, Lance. However, as it's written, that's what it sounds like. Perhaps: He choked down a dry swallow. That would convey both, that his mouth and throat were dry, and that Emmitt was trying his best to swallow.
"Emmit let out a sigh of relief, and thought his ordeal was over."---->Left off the "h" in "his", here, Lance.
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reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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sen.su.al.i.ty [sen-shoo-al-I-tee]
noun, plural sen.su.al.i.ties.
1. sensual nature: the sensuality of Keats's poetry.
2. unrestrained indulgence in sensual pleasures.
3. lewdness; unchastity.
I lean towards my belief that your well written story falls on the third definition of the meanings of the word, sensuality here, Lance. But I really enjoyed it! (Is that wrong?)
Now, why do our characters do stupid things in horror/thriller stories? Well, because there wouldn't be a story if they didn't, right? When Emmitt heard Eva speaking in his head, and she knew his name even before he'd told her; in the real world, seductively tantalizing or not, we're runnun' away from the bitch! But, not Emmitt. He leaves with Eva, even though he has an uneasy feeling about her. It's as if he was hypnotized. In other words, Emmitt did what most guys do. He allowed the little head to do the thinking for his larger, more brainy one.
And, talk about your rough lays! Eva could put the most experienced dominatrix to shame, hands down. Crushing hands, breaking bed boards (and nearly Emmitt's bones!)...Couldn't it be said, however, given Eva's unique disposition, that she was still a... dead lay? Heh heh.
Well, all in all, at least it worked out for the both of them. Now, they've vowed to live? a life together as boyfriend and girlfiend. Well, you know what they say? Opposites attract!
Well done, Lancellot!
"He swallowed a dry throat at the sight of her dark nipples..."---->Really?! He swallowed his own throat? Of course I'm joking you a bit here, Lance. However, as it's written, that's what it sounds like. Perhaps: He choked down a dry swallow. That would convey both, that his mouth and throat were dry, and that Emmitt was trying his best to swallow.
"Emmit let out a sigh of relief, and thought his ordeal was over."---->Left off the "h" in "his", here, Lance.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you very much, Dean. I think you right about that line, it doesn't make sense. I will change it.
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Not a problem, Lance. You're very welcome, my friend.
Comment from JB Lynn
Well, if this isn't a winner, I don't know what is. Wonderful details and use of sensory imagery to convey what's happening in the story. I especially liked the conflict between warm & cold sensations as the two characters made love. Excellent job. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Well, if this isn't a winner, I don't know what is. Wonderful details and use of sensory imagery to convey what's happening in the story. I especially liked the conflict between warm & cold sensations as the two characters made love. Excellent job. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-May-2014
reply by the author on 11-May-2014
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Thank you very much.