Reviews from

The Trining

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "THE PAPPERING INCIDENT, ETC."
A man must discover his identity and destiny.

21 total reviews 
Comment from Loren (7)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Twists and turns of a Shakespearean play even with some of the melodrama with the possibility of Docktrex being exposed as a fraud. Intriguing dialogue that moves the story along with just enough of a hint of deception to keep the reader guessing and of course, reading : )

 Comment Written 16-May-2014


reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Loren, you are so encouraging at a time I was feeling like I have to inject some action, just to keep the pages turning. Bless you, my friend. OMG!!! You caught me by surprise with the 6-er! Thank you so much!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Jay never know what you are going to come up next in your very interesting story
Glad you explained what ---
pappering means

continue on

Gert

 Comment Written 16-May-2014


reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Thank you for coming back. Honestly, I'm not taking roll, but I always get a kick out of having you come in and take a seat.
reply by Gert sherwood on 17-May-2014
    You are welcome Jay
    Drop by and take a look at my work if you get a chance.

    Smiles

    Gert
reply by the author on 17-May-2014
    Will do. BTW, why isn't it coming up on messages. I'm sure I have you favorited. If not it will be corrected.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Excellent
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Good introduction that describes the atmosphere and sets the tone of this chapter. Good clear dialogue that display the emotion as well as what's going on. Good transition between events. Nice steady pace leading to an emotional conclusion.

 Comment Written 16-May-2014


reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Thank you, Righteous Riter, for stopping by and reading. Hope you catch Part 2. I hated to split the chapter up, but it would have been over 4,000 wds. Thanks again. I respect you as a writer.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, I would hate to be cast into a place like that where I didn't understand life at all and the language was so weird. I liked your characters, they are believable and interesting, Giddy

 Comment Written 16-May-2014


reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Glad to have you back, Giddy. Thanks for reading and enjoying.
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Is Doctrex the jovial man, generous with his money that Klasco was talking about, or is he a modern man trapped in another alien space? The events in your story are so mysteriously woven that it is difficult for the readers to guess, which make your story more interesting. An excellent write. God bless.

 Comment Written 16-May-2014


reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    No, no, no, the man Klasco was referring to was one from the Far Northern Province who had infiltrated the Kabeezan Province. A spy. Thank you for your kind words and may God richly bless you, as well.
Comment from Liandra
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Captivating - I'm learning as well as Doctrex, the different meanings behind the spoken word. There's a definite blending of two worlds or better still, dimensions. Am I right in thinking there has been a 'tear' in the dividing membrane?
This story is loaded with suspense, which is great!

:) Liandra

 Comment Written 15-May-2014


reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Massive thanks for the 6 stars, Liandra! You read the chapter, didn't you, when he was pulled into the realm he now is in. I don't know whether you'd call that a tear or not. Wouldn't matter anyway; the membrane heals itself. Thank you again.
reply by Liandra on 16-May-2014
    You're welcome, my friend. I'm enjoying the adventure.
    Liandra
Comment from Walter L. Jones
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

create, draw and pull, your world, flesh and flash, from earths center to heavens core, play with and form, you capture and hold me once again, thank you for inviting me to your tale..Walt

 Comment Written 15-May-2014


reply by the author on 15-May-2014
    Spoken like a real poet, Walter. Thank you for coming back to The Trining.
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Learning a new culture and language isn't easy. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.

 Comment Written 15-May-2014


reply by the author on 15-May-2014
    Thank you, Charley for reading this.
reply by c_lucas on 16-May-2014
    You're welcome, Jay. Charlie
Comment from dreamin'
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

"You know--how they papper?" Oh my God, I love that. Jay, I'm still thinking about the last chapter, and what it was about it that I just couldn't get into. Maybe it was the quick move to let Klasco everything, and then not really know how to explain it. I think I was struggling along with him.

This chapter is flowing a lot better, and I am in love with all the new words I'm learning. I want to be a Kabeezan and speak Grosslin!

You must be taking your time reading before sending out, because once, again, there are no edits on this. Anxiously waiting for part deux of this chapter.

In the meantime, I am going back to the previous chapter to see if I can pinpoint what bugged me. I've actually been thinking about this since I posted my review, so there is something I missed or misinterpreted.

thanks for a great read,
Debbie

 Comment Written 15-May-2014


reply by the author on 15-May-2014
    You do my soul good, Debbie! If you find out what it is in the previous chapter, please let me know. I'm juggling a lot of intelligent concepts and my mind isn't up to it! I feel like such a fraud. Sound familiar?
Comment from Ritsal
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an interesting chapter with the introduction of pappering. The action slows down allowing us to catch our breath. Can't wait for the next chapter in this epic adventure. Just a couple edits:


...Robbers would be also be Kazbeezans--need to swat a be

It was probably for fire wood or food --firewood

Best wishes,
Rita

 Comment Written 15-May-2014


reply by the author on 15-May-2014
    I'm so happy you liked this, Rita. I'm gonna go right in and make the corrections, while it's still a new post. Thanks.
reply by Ritsal on 15-May-2014
    You're welcome. :)