King Sawyer
a story poem in rhyming couplets115 total reviews
Comment from Alan K Pease
King Sawyer has a variety of tasks and tools to carry them out. If he did falter with his minions of fans there still would be three to carry him to glory - his mother, his father and you Brooke.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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King Sawyer has a variety of tasks and tools to carry them out. If he did falter with his minions of fans there still would be three to carry him to glory - his mother, his father and you Brooke.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Alan, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from michaelcahill
What a great story. Fun and entertaining for all ages. That's the key for children's pieces I think. They must appeal to adults or they will never get taken off the shelf to be read! This would be the one I'd grab. Great one. mikey
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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What a great story. Fun and entertaining for all ages. That's the key for children's pieces I think. They must appeal to adults or they will never get taken off the shelf to be read! This would be the one I'd grab. Great one. mikey
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Mikey, thank you so much :-) You're so right about appealing to the adults who have to do the buying and the reading :-) Brooke
Comment from expressions9
Haha..! What a fantastic contest entry Brooke! I love this story :) With beautiful rhyme, meter, alliteration and vivid imagery, this is a captivating and fun story in a poem for children. It's just like children to want to take all the credit!! This must be a winner. All the best in the contest!
Christine :)
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Haha..! What a fantastic contest entry Brooke! I love this story :) With beautiful rhyme, meter, alliteration and vivid imagery, this is a captivating and fun story in a poem for children. It's just like children to want to take all the credit!! This must be a winner. All the best in the contest!
Christine :)
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Christine, thank you so much for your generous and encouraging review :-) Brooke
Comment from nancyjam
I walk at Redondo Beach often - I would love to have seen him!
I love this imaginative poem and I'm sure Sawyer will enjoy it.
Great use of alliteration and assonance.
Amusing images and rhymes.
Excellent meter for the subject.
Just an all-around fun poem! Nancy
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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I walk at Redondo Beach often - I would love to have seen him!
I love this imaginative poem and I'm sure Sawyer will enjoy it.
Great use of alliteration and assonance.
Amusing images and rhymes.
Excellent meter for the subject.
Just an all-around fun poem! Nancy
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Nancy, thanks so much - that would be so much fun if you ran into them :-) Brooke
Comment from jadapenn
Lol, this is such a quaint story. Yep, the brains take it all and not those that do the toiling night and day. Age old story that is never to change. I loved the way King Sawyer keeps himself busy looking for socks and shoes. Well penned. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Lol, this is such a quaint story. Yep, the brains take it all and not those that do the toiling night and day. Age old story that is never to change. I loved the way King Sawyer keeps himself busy looking for socks and shoes. Well penned. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Jada, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Brooke - this was a fabulous story, and I was laughing throughout it. I think Cutie Pie's image kept popping up for me and seeing him as King Sawyer just did me in. Great writing in this story poem. Good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Dear Brooke - this was a fabulous story, and I was laughing throughout it. I think Cutie Pie's image kept popping up for me and seeing him as King Sawyer just did me in. Great writing in this story poem. Good luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Maureen, thank you so much - so glad this brought out a laugh :-) Brooke
Comment from Cumbrianlass
I truly love the originality of this. So different and creative - it reads almost like one of those little fairy tales of old. I grew up reading those. You've combined the childlike charm of storytelling, yet it's embedded with an intellectual message that depicts the ways of the world. Very clever and, as I said, very original.
Bravo, Brooke.
Av
And I love building sandcastles to this day! I used to do exactly what Sawyer is doing, and get frustrated because the water would, of course, vanish into the sand. LOL! So you brought back memories too.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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I truly love the originality of this. So different and creative - it reads almost like one of those little fairy tales of old. I grew up reading those. You've combined the childlike charm of storytelling, yet it's embedded with an intellectual message that depicts the ways of the world. Very clever and, as I said, very original.
Bravo, Brooke.
Av
And I love building sandcastles to this day! I used to do exactly what Sawyer is doing, and get frustrated because the water would, of course, vanish into the sand. LOL! So you brought back memories too.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Av, for your thoughtful response to this poem - I'm so glad it connected with your fond memories :-) Brooke
Comment from ravenblack
We used to build sandcastles to see whose would last the longest, close enough to the water to require fortification. What fun! And how fun your poem is, elevating simple sand castle construction to a million and three working against siege as the king sleeps (smart boy).
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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We used to build sandcastles to see whose would last the longest, close enough to the water to require fortification. What fun! And how fun your poem is, elevating simple sand castle construction to a million and three working against siege as the king sleeps (smart boy).
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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thanks so very much, ravenblack :-) Brooke
Comment from Adri7enne
Well yes, it's not the actual doing but the delegating and managing that counts. LOL! Ask any corporate chairman! LOL!
I love the "million minions". It's a tongue twister, but also a great alliteration. Good luck in the contest, Brooke.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Well yes, it's not the actual doing but the delegating and managing that counts. LOL! Ask any corporate chairman! LOL!
I love the "million minions". It's a tongue twister, but also a great alliteration. Good luck in the contest, Brooke.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Thank you so much, Adrienne, for your generous review. Sawyer loves the minions from Despicable Me :-) Brooke
Comment from Fleedleflump
Haha - I love the naughtiness of the moral. Whatever else is true in the world, it's always advantageous to be on the highest dais when the floods come. Good story, clearly expressed, in solid diction.
Mike
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Haha - I love the naughtiness of the moral. Whatever else is true in the world, it's always advantageous to be on the highest dais when the floods come. Good story, clearly expressed, in solid diction.
Mike
Comment Written 08-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Mike - I like my moral too :-) Brooke