Reviews from

The Animal Doctor

Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Once More My Love (Part 2)"
Love Among the Thorns

21 total reviews 
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Excellent
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True love stands the tests of time an reigns triumphant. What a sweet ending.
I have thoroughly enjoyed all the chapters and wish you well with future plans for this book.
:)Shirley

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 24-Sep-2014
    Thank you, Shirley. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from chasennov
Excellent
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Chapter 22 of the book The Animal Doctor A treasure at the end of the rainbow "Once More My Love (Part 2)" This is another one of your excellent chapters you have created here. I enjoyed the read as I do every time. Well done.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 24-Sep-2014
    thank you.
reply by chasennov on 24-Sep-2014
    Welcome.
Comment from emrpoems
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ecstatic when Pete brook the good news.--broke-typo
I absolutely loved this chapter. did not real all the chapters but this was very well written. good plan well developed
Good dialogue and character interaction.
loved the excitement of turning around and fighting for his true love.

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    Thank you. Don't know how I missed that. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from forestport12
Excellent
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I've been so inclined to think the best story is a love story well told. You do a wonderful job with the culture and the times of that era and yet the characters seem to drive the story more than the plot which I think is good. I liked how this ended in the bedroom and I have a feeling I wasn't the only one. You something that could have been fleshy and filled with angst and made readers swoon to want more with the delicate way you handled the love scene. Good job!

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    Thank you, Stan for hanging in there with this story. I really do appreciate it.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
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this is an excellent write, amahra, I will miss these characters, but I won't miss conniving Margaret, I have followed the story from the beginning. I hope you have some more characters to create a story for.

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    Oh yes. I have lots of them. My next book is a fantasy thriller. Thank you so much for keeping up with the book.
Comment from jaeladarling
Excellent
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Ah, a happy ending. Kudos to Grace for taking Nathan back. I don't think I'd have been able to after all that!

Congrats on finishing your book! I wish you all the best as you move forward. :)

A handful of nits for your consideration:


"It sat a far off" ("afar")

"He could have gotten passed her," ("past")

"passed her, but was" (No comma)

"in her crib, and now" (No comma)

"and Grace, but didn't" (No comma)

I won't fight it. (Close the quote)

"and left by the front door." (Left "it", I think you meant)

"going away with her. I knew" (Change the period to a comma)

"stretched her neck looking" (Comma after "neck")

"saw the croud had thinned." ("crowd")

"at Pete who stood" (Comma after "Pete")

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    Thank you, Jaeladarling, I will make corrections.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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Now he's learning. I think he's snagged her lower lip and won't let go.

Onward!

They all cramed in the doorway [They all CRAMMED in...]

It sat a far off on a high hill. [I don't think you need that "a" before far]

and stared down at the floor. [I find this hard to imagine if she is lying on her back on the bed.]

He wrote something down, folded the paper [I've already read the note he gave Margaret. There's just no way it could have been conveyed by: he wrote something down," there at Ten Oaks. Either the note should be short and to the point, or he should have written it in the few minutes from when he first made up his mind and until he got to Ten Oaks. And, that wouldn't be likely, the way Pete was driving. I'm sorry, but that would be an inconsistency that an editor would pounce on.]

The Korens' household was ecstatic [You need a plot break of an extra space here.]

I love the tender ending of your story, Ama. And, I don't think it was at all too short. I was a little surprised Grace didn't read her mother down or send her packing as a gesture of self assertion.

I really enjoyed this book Ama and I hope you decide to get it published.



 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    Thank you, Jay, I go back over it.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    She wasn't lying on her back.
Comment from c_lucas
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It is good to have a happy ending to this story line. The sixer is for your completion of the novel, Good luck in your writing endeavors. Charlie

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    Thank you, Charlie. I really appreciate this.
reply by c_lucas on 24-Sep-2014
    You're welcome, Amahra. Charlie
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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I really enjoyed this story Amahra! It was the perfect ending, with the beautifully manufactured ending, and the plaintiff cry of the train fading in the distance, like the love stories before the thirties, I enjoyed the series, everybody appears to be ending their novels(ette) at the same time, the whole lot was well written, great design and composing, absorbing and neat, well done, blessings, Roy.

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 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    Thank you, Roy for sticking with the book. I really appreciate it.
reply by royowen on 24-Sep-2014
    We need each others support Amahra, you're a good writer, it'e nit hard! Roy.
Comment from onebrit
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Phew...I am so glad he didn't go off to England with Margaret. He belongs in Texas with his lovely wife and daughter. A new start all around. And a really good ending to this sweet story.....now what will I anticipate reading!

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 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014
    How about witches and werewolves and spells, Oh My. LOL That's my next book I'm posting: A fantasy thriller. Thank you, onebrit for reviewing.