Those Best Laid Plans
5=7=5 Story in a poem20 total reviews
Comment from CR Delport
They always say, "don't take a knife to a gun fight." I think the same applies for blanks :) This is short but sweet. Good luck in the contest.
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They always say, "don't take a knife to a gun fight." I think the same applies for blanks :) This is short but sweet. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
I couldn't follow this 5/7/5 syllabic format it all.
First you call them blanks and then you further state that they are real? I must be feebleminded a little bit short of a full stack but I just didn't get it.
Good luck in the contest for this is an interesting writing and may the Lord be with you always Mikey.
Alex
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Mikey;
I couldn't follow this 5/7/5 syllabic format it all.
First you call them blanks and then you further state that they are real? I must be feebleminded a little bit short of a full stack but I just didn't get it.
Good luck in the contest for this is an interesting writing and may the Lord be with you always Mikey.
Alex
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Ha! I know the feeling. I'm leaving a lot to the imagination for three lines. It's two people. The first one answers the door to someone holding a gun. But, they know they are going to be there because they have already switched the bullets in their gun for blanks. So the person at the door shoots, but it doesn't do anything. The person that answers the door, however, has a gun with real bullets. Hahaha! I don't know if that is any less confusing!!!! Well at least it's interesting. Blessings, mikey
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No you spelled it out perfectly Mikey.
And now it's even funnier than I thought.
Your an amazing writer my friend.
Alex
Comment from Spitfire
Ah, so you're back in the contest game again. Behind these seventeen syllables is a clichéd story, but one we always enjoy. Love the last line and clever use of short dialogue.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Ah, so you're back in the contest game again. Behind these seventeen syllables is a clichéd story, but one we always enjoy. Love the last line and clever use of short dialogue.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Thank you! Trying to squirm outside the box somehow. :) Glad you liked it!
Comment from Jay Squires
A little Halloween 5-7-5 poem!
After having read two sex-infused short stories and then have your last line be "Aww, blanks. Mine are real," I am left wondering if you intended a sexual overture for this as well.
Ha! Good luck, Mikey.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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A little Halloween 5-7-5 poem!
After having read two sex-infused short stories and then have your last line be "Aww, blanks. Mine are real," I am left wondering if you intended a sexual overture for this as well.
Ha! Good luck, Mikey.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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I hadn't thought of that, but I see it now. Haha! I could change the picture and...
Comment from Carlylrkn5
the subject, at face value, is a bit too graphic for my taste, however was so well expressed that i did end up enjoying it. I also really like the picture you attached to the poem, it was an eye catcher for me and made me want to read on. Good job!
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reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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the subject, at face value, is a bit too graphic for my taste, however was so well expressed that i did end up enjoying it. I also really like the picture you attached to the poem, it was an eye catcher for me and made me want to read on. Good job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Hi! Thank you. Your words are nice to hear. They don't seem to coincide with your rating though. Usually a three star rating is for a piece that has major flaws and needs a lot of work. Is there things that you find wrong or in need of fixing? You praise the piece as though it were worthy of a five or six rating. Just curious. :) mikey
Comment from brentman99
Nice funny poem. We used to call someone shooting at you being on a two way range because the targets usually don't shoot back. I love the red or black and the picture works. Thanks for sharing, Mike. Brent.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Nice funny poem. We used to call someone shooting at you being on a two way range because the targets usually don't shoot back. I love the red or black and the picture works. Thanks for sharing, Mike. Brent.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Hey, appreciate it. Thank you. mikey
Comment from gypsymoth
Very clever and nicely displayed. Kind of a little twist of fate resulting in a murder.Good luck in the contest, I think this should be a very strong contender.
Gypsymoth
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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Very clever and nicely displayed. Kind of a little twist of fate resulting in a murder.Good luck in the contest, I think this should be a very strong contender.
Gypsymoth
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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So pleased you liked this. Thank you kindly, mikey
Comment from Sankey
Awww good one mate. I love the setup. I should try some HTML some time I believe that might be how you are achieving what you have done here.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Awww good one mate. I love the setup. I should try some HTML some time I believe that might be how you are achieving what you have done here.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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No. This is all advanced editor. Black background. Big fonts, italics for the dialogue, comic sans serif for the "Bangs". A picture with a black background. I don't have a clue how HTMLs or any of that works. Ha! I wish!! But, I like this format. Most of mine look like this. mikey
Comment from Sasha
I had no idea there was a 'Mystery and Crime Poetry' category. Your last line is a gem and really makes this one work. This is a fun entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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I had no idea there was a 'Mystery and Crime Poetry' category. Your last line is a gem and really makes this one work. This is a fun entry for this contest and I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Yes! Not too many 5-7-5 mystery and crime entries. So glad you liked this. Always trying to find something different. :)) mikey
Comment from Glasstruth
LOL. Never fool around with a gun, unless you plain on using it for real. The ending line is what gives this it's true BANG! Well Done! Les
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reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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LOL. Never fool around with a gun, unless you plain on using it for real. The ending line is what gives this it's true BANG! Well Done! Les
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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So true! Glad you enjoyed. THank you, mikey