Expressing Myself
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Warmth"Writing my way out of depression / mental illness
59 total reviews
Comment from Aveindha
Really great poem. It flows well, and beautiful errors used to convey your message of comfort and warmth and our need to feel those things. Very well done. I might change the word " holding" to "enfold" or something similar, it throws the rhythm off slightly. Excellent job!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Really great poem. It flows well, and beautiful errors used to convey your message of comfort and warmth and our need to feel those things. Very well done. I might change the word " holding" to "enfold" or something similar, it throws the rhythm off slightly. Excellent job!
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your kind and insightful review!! J
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
Great poem of compassion and presentation. However, it could just be me, but I'm not quite seeing a lot of the theme depicted in this.
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Hi,
Great poem of compassion and presentation. However, it could just be me, but I'm not quite seeing a lot of the theme depicted in this.
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Its about a woman sharing her warmth with another woman on the streets is a supernatural way. may be not right for the contest, but they will disqualify me if it is not. thank you for your review and kindness!
Comment from marijmd
The ultimate security blanket? I guess no matter your situation something warm can bring you comfort.
Thanks for sharing!
:) Maria
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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The ultimate security blanket? I guess no matter your situation something warm can bring you comfort.
Thanks for sharing!
:) Maria
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your kind and insightful review!! J
Comment from Charlene0513
Tp playinaround,
Faith can be measured in many different ways to many genders.
But a poor, defenseless and homeless person will take anything to hold or eat to quench those hunger and humiliating comments from people that have no morals and would rather stand around and gossip than to lend a helping hand.
Charlene
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Tp playinaround,
Faith can be measured in many different ways to many genders.
But a poor, defenseless and homeless person will take anything to hold or eat to quench those hunger and humiliating comments from people that have no morals and would rather stand around and gossip than to lend a helping hand.
Charlene
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your kind and insightful review!! J
Comment from LIJ Red
In my region Linus would have had a security Baby-quilt, not a blanket. Mom's quilting frame still hangs in my unused basement...touching poem...
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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In my region Linus would have had a security Baby-quilt, not a blanket. Mom's quilting frame still hangs in my unused basement...touching poem...
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your kind and insightful review!! J
Comment from emrpoems
Lovely touches of alliteration
good use of sporadic rhyme
Over me a homemade quilt
so warm and soft and safe it felt
holding me
the Holy Spirit must have been what you refer to here. Well penned poem of faith
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Lovely touches of alliteration
good use of sporadic rhyme
Over me a homemade quilt
so warm and soft and safe it felt
holding me
the Holy Spirit must have been what you refer to here. Well penned poem of faith
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your kind and insightful review!! J
Comment from patcelaw
I find comfort in a warm quilt and sleep well when I am covered in its comfort. This is a nice poem. I feel for the woman on the street sleeping under a quilt. So many have no place to call home and that is a shame.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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I find comfort in a warm quilt and sleep well when I am covered in its comfort. This is a nice poem. I feel for the woman on the street sleeping under a quilt. So many have no place to call home and that is a shame.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your kind and insightful review!! J
Comment from Carole Rosa
Playin' Around. This poem is presented very well and your poetic words about dreaming are lovely. I've never had a pleasant dream like that. But, the last verse is sad. Good luck in the contest. Carole
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Playin' Around. This poem is presented very well and your poetic words about dreaming are lovely. I've never had a pleasant dream like that. But, the last verse is sad. Good luck in the contest. Carole
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you for your kind and insightful review!! J
Comment from kiwijenny
Beautiful ...use of the quilt a metaphor for love,,,,I love this poem
It had a nice flow and I applaud your word choices
But the best thing is the message...to care for everyone
God bless
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Beautiful ...use of the quilt a metaphor for love,,,,I love this poem
It had a nice flow and I applaud your word choices
But the best thing is the message...to care for everyone
God bless
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you kiwijenny, for this kind and insightful review!!
Comment from Dom G Robles
A contest entry about Faith. The contest calls for inspiration and faith. This poem, as I see it, talks of a dream--adventure in that dream, Seeing a woman one evening while walking home and still thinking about her dream,warm and safe on her way home.
he poem is excellent in rhyme and rhythm but much less clinging to the subject of "inspiration and faith." Well written. I rate it five on the basis of structure but could be six if it clings to the theme of the poem. My suggestion is, for the writer to inject in between the lines about inspiration and faith, to have the fighting chance for the contest. This is my personal view
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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A contest entry about Faith. The contest calls for inspiration and faith. This poem, as I see it, talks of a dream--adventure in that dream, Seeing a woman one evening while walking home and still thinking about her dream,warm and safe on her way home.
he poem is excellent in rhyme and rhythm but much less clinging to the subject of "inspiration and faith." Well written. I rate it five on the basis of structure but could be six if it clings to the theme of the poem. My suggestion is, for the writer to inject in between the lines about inspiration and faith, to have the fighting chance for the contest. This is my personal view
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
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Thank you Dom G, for you kind and honest review. It is about a woman who normally has nightmares and finally has a wonderful dream of warmth. Her quilt is shared with a homeless woman in a supernatural way to provide warmth to a suffering woman on the streets. To me this is inspirational. I will probably be disqualified anyway:) Thank you for the five stars!!