Reviews from

Reflections Of Color

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Eggs Over Easy"
A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics

30 total reviews 
Comment from Judy Couch
Excellent
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I enjoyed this poem. I like the way you ended each stanza with the "eggs over easy, black coffee to warm me." I like the story it told. It is funny.

 Comment Written 02-May-2015


reply by the author on 02-May-2015
    Thank you for your comments and support.
Comment from Bill Schott
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I can hear the thank of the guitar, an old blood hound howling, the sizzling of bacon on the griddle. This is a funny-sad-funny song that reminds me a bit of "Put Another Log On the Fire". Fun.

 Comment Written 02-May-2015


reply by the author on 02-May-2015
    Thank you for your comments and support.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
Excellent
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This is a beautiful and sad poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a tale of losing the one you love and trying to regain that love. We all lose people that we love one way or another and we all need eggs over easy and black coffee from time to time.

 Comment Written 02-May-2015


reply by the author on 02-May-2015
    Thank you for your comments.
reply by Tomes Johnston on 02-May-2015
    My pleasure
Comment from mfowler
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The narrative and emotions you generate in your poem are good, but it's that repetition of coffee, eggs and note that makes this work. A lot like a good C&W theme, ther's a kind of compensation in the food, but not enough to fill the gap. This is a clever way to interpret the prompt and it works well. Best of luck.

 Comment Written 02-May-2015


reply by the author on 02-May-2015
    Thanks for your comment and support.
Comment from Delahay
Excellent
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The idea of a love poem about food seems just a little odd but you seem to have made it work. The repeating lines sound like the chorus of a song.

 Comment Written 01-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-May-2015
    Unique? Yes, and an answer to being challenged to write one like I never had before. Hope you enjoyed it.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Excellent
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Hi anon - a good poem on food for the contest. It swings along really well like a song - I can almost hear the guitar. The repeated two line work well and are very effective. In your last stanza 'right now, tomorrow' is a bit of a contradiction - but the whole is an excellent red. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothyx

 Comment Written 01-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-May-2015
    Thank you for your comments and support.
Comment from abbasjoy
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This is hilarious, yet sad, but I must confess I love the lyrics in the last two lines, that keep repeating for every stanza. It's so trite, but it almost feels like he won a consolation prize. I guess food was this guys comfort, and unfortunately often is when there is no one to turn to.
Great poem.

 Comment Written 01-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-May-2015
    Thank you for your comments and support. A consolation prize. That is a Classic response. Love it!
Comment from Pam (respa)
Excellent
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-Your photo matches your subject very well!
-You did a very good job of meeting FS's challenge!
-The lyrics flow well, tell a story, show emotion, and have a great chorus.
-I really like these lines:
"I'd give you the world right now tomorrow
if it'd bring your love back to me."
-The only thing I am not sure of is "now tomorrow." (I don't know if some kind of punctuation or the addition of something, like "or" or "or even" between the two words would be helpful.)
-Overall, a very good job with the topic.
-One other small recommendation might be:
-" with nowhere to turn to," (I would think about eliminating "to")

 Comment Written 01-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-May-2015
    Thank you for your comments and support.
reply by Pam (respa) on 01-May-2015
    You are welcome.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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You rose to the challenge brilliantly. This is so good. There was music in the words, as I read them they seemed to sing out rather than 'talk' out. Lovely lyrics, good luck in the contest. Sandra.

 Comment Written 01-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-May-2015
    Thank you for your comments and support.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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I enjoyed your "song." I can see how the food was something the person really loved. I can see how it helped in this situation.

I see nothing to change.

I do have a comment if you do not mind. Your author notes give away who you are. Even though you created the contest and are free to enter it, You need to be careful not to give hints in the notes. When I enter a contest that specifies no author info, I just credit where the image came from if there is one. (Many people would be able to identify "blind" entries anyway or check the authors profile page).

 Comment Written 01-May-2015


reply by the author on 01-May-2015
    Thanks for your comments and support. Guess I will have to watch that a little more closely.