2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 55 "haiku (conch shell)"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
17 total reviews
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Nice gem you have here! Your poem brought back memories of the ocean and how the reader knows the writer is placing the shell upon their ear to hear the wail of the ocean. What I liked about your poem is that it tells a complete story in so few words. Good luck and cheers.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Nice gem you have here! Your poem brought back memories of the ocean and how the reader knows the writer is placing the shell upon their ear to hear the wail of the ocean. What I liked about your poem is that it tells a complete story in so few words. Good luck and cheers.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Thank you very much Benjamin, I appreciate your review. ;)
Comment from rspoet
This is a solid haiku that should do well in the contest
Syllable are fine at 4-7-5
The first two lines have concrete good images
And very good grammatical connection
Third line is a very nice reflective thought linking shell, shore, and hand
Excellent picture to poem match and good presentation
Well done, good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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This is a solid haiku that should do well in the contest
Syllable are fine at 4-7-5
The first two lines have concrete good images
And very good grammatical connection
Third line is a very nice reflective thought linking shell, shore, and hand
Excellent picture to poem match and good presentation
Well done, good luck in the contest
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Thank you :)
Comment from Nosha17
The conch shell is also very symbolic in Indian history and religion. It is a very beautiful shell, as shown in your illustration. Well chosen words and good luck in the contest. Faye
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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The conch shell is also very symbolic in Indian history and religion. It is a very beautiful shell, as shown in your illustration. Well chosen words and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Thank you Faye :)
Comment from Eternal Muse
I love it! Great haiku. "Ocean in my hand" makes a powerful satori. Excellent interconnection of concrete images in lines 1 and 2, great visuals.
This should make a strong contender.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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I love it! Great haiku. "Ocean in my hand" makes a powerful satori. Excellent interconnection of concrete images in lines 1 and 2, great visuals.
This should make a strong contender.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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Thank you yeltel :)
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A little dry for a sixer, isn't it? (lol)
Comment from RodG
I remember wishing I could find one, but never could. This poem gives us a snapshot of the conch washing ashore. Your satori is noteworthy as it implies we can hear the ocean if we put the conch to our ear. Nice use of alliteration and consonance to suggest the sounds of the sea.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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I remember wishing I could find one, but never could. This poem gives us a snapshot of the conch washing ashore. Your satori is noteworthy as it implies we can hear the ocean if we put the conch to our ear. Nice use of alliteration and consonance to suggest the sounds of the sea.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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thank you Robg, I really appreciate your excellent review :)
Comment from ellie6
That says a lot in one tiny poem. Something as mundane as a conch shell found on the beach can trigger off such introspective thoughts.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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That says a lot in one tiny poem. Something as mundane as a conch shell found on the beach can trigger off such introspective thoughts.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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thank you Ellie, I really appreciate your excellent review :)
Comment from TPAC
A write conveying true fact of nature, writer descriptive approach steers reader into written scenic images unfolding full statement disclosure, I think its a great job of expression
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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A write conveying true fact of nature, writer descriptive approach steers reader into written scenic images unfolding full statement disclosure, I think its a great job of expression
Comment Written 13-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2015
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thank you TPAC, I really appreciate your excellent review :)