Reveille
Diary Fiction-6-19 Potlatch Challenge27 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Mike,
Private Jones is dead. Poor soul had a rough life. Went to Vietnam and came back a cripple to a country that didn't appreciate his sacrifice of putting his life on the line and that other small matter--a leg! There are so many homeless veterans in our country. It's shameful.
At the lowest part of my life, I had to stay at a homeless shelter for a night. It was enlightening. I found out there are some good people willing to help homeless folks to have a place to sleep and a hot meal but when morning comes you have to get lost. Nobody wants homeless people near them. They have no place to go. The public library and city parks are about it. Unless you leave out in the woods.
Excellent look into a dying Vietnam veteran treated like a derelict. The part about feeling cancer eating him alive was creepy and disturbing. Good job!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hello, Mike,
Private Jones is dead. Poor soul had a rough life. Went to Vietnam and came back a cripple to a country that didn't appreciate his sacrifice of putting his life on the line and that other small matter--a leg! There are so many homeless veterans in our country. It's shameful.
At the lowest part of my life, I had to stay at a homeless shelter for a night. It was enlightening. I found out there are some good people willing to help homeless folks to have a place to sleep and a hot meal but when morning comes you have to get lost. Nobody wants homeless people near them. They have no place to go. The public library and city parks are about it. Unless you leave out in the woods.
Excellent look into a dying Vietnam veteran treated like a derelict. The part about feeling cancer eating him alive was creepy and disturbing. Good job!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Ah, very good. You caught that the last entry WAS his last entry. It was a little subtle and I thought maybe too subtle. So I'm pleased you caught that. YAY!!
I did six months in a shelter. I didn't have to, but to be honest it was like a vacation for me. I'm kind of the guy everyone turns to for some reason. So the shelter was a place that no one needed me for anything. LOL
It was amazing how much help was available.
BUT, I wasn't crazy or on drugs or sick, so I had no problem finding what I needed. Not that many homeless are that lucky. They're like you describe. I can walk out the door right now and go sit outside with United States Veterans who live on the streets. It's a shameful thing.
Well, glad you enjoyed. Pretty creepy with the cancer, yes? I learned creepy by reading Dean. LOL Irish Hugs, mikey
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Every day I learn something new from Dean. LoL OMG did I say that aloud?
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No, you didn't. Like so much of what enters our mind. It remains hidden away within our thoughts for no one to be privy to. No one is the wiser. :))
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Wow, Mike, that is very deep. My Irish buddha Mike.
What I meant by that is that he has been around in FS longer than me and he is teaching me practical stuff. He is a good teacher. Look! He taught you how to be creepy. LoL
Hugs <3
Comment from Pantygynt
You have risen well to the challenge, writing colloquially rather than journalistic ally. In each of these three diary entries the relationship between the writer and the diary comes over clearly with a rawness that bringsout his anger at the deal life has handed himy.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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You have risen well to the challenge, writing colloquially rather than journalistic ally. In each of these three diary entries the relationship between the writer and the diary comes over clearly with a rawness that bringsout his anger at the deal life has handed himy.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Wow. What a great complimentary review. I appreciate the encouragement quite a bit. These challenges are quite interesting. Sometimes you're just right on the money and others, well, you're not. LOL
Thanks very much, mikey
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mikey
I just thought I'd take a peek here before moving on to the Potlatch Poetry. I just couldn't leave. This is you writing at your best. You can seem to place yourself in any character and bring out their soul. You've almost told a life-time in these three diary excerpts. So so, so human. You've covered the homeless, the Vietnam vet, abused and misused ... and he gave a leg ... for what ... to be ridiculed?, society snobbery- lets help only the pretty and courteous? Terminal - cancer ... so much in your words ... so concise and beautifully written. Great work ... I'm very much in AWE! Hugs - Lovi xoxoxox
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Hi Mikey
I just thought I'd take a peek here before moving on to the Potlatch Poetry. I just couldn't leave. This is you writing at your best. You can seem to place yourself in any character and bring out their soul. You've almost told a life-time in these three diary excerpts. So so, so human. You've covered the homeless, the Vietnam vet, abused and misused ... and he gave a leg ... for what ... to be ridiculed?, society snobbery- lets help only the pretty and courteous? Terminal - cancer ... so much in your words ... so concise and beautifully written. Great work ... I'm very much in AWE! Hugs - Lovi xoxoxox
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Honestly, dear woman, you actually make me feel like I can write or something. Jeesh. I love your synopsis. If all of that was in there then that is just super, because that is exactly on the money. I was a total dove, anti-war peacenik and all that, but I was never against the soldiers themselves. I've always thought they should never have to worry or want another day in their lives after their service. I think their treatment is a disgrace and I know it's worse here than anywhere in the world. How shameful with some billionaire running for President without a brain in his head. Okay. Insert diatribe here. LOL
Thanks for a totally encouraging review. It really means the world to me. mikey Hugs Back! xoxoxoxox
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LOL you cheeky man!! You KNOW you can write ... and this is just superb, fantastic, excellent, out-standing, yadda yadda!! Is that enough, or do you mean more sucking up? I agree, the soldiers weren't to blame, they just followed what they thought was right. We all don't do enough for their welfare after returning ... they are just rallying here about PTSD. Many who serve for us (ie police, paramedics, fire-fighters, nurses, etc) are not well paid or well looked after in adversity. It will be worse if they privatise our health system. Well yes, the diatribe can continue ...
I'm thrilled you enjoyed my review, I didn't think I had time to include the potlatch prose, I'll try when I can. So pleased I caught this one. Hugs - Lovi xoxox
Comment from fionageorge
Wow, Michael... so this is the current potlatch challenge?
What a terrific job you have done with this. I could visualise the returned service man, living on the street, being treated like dirt. This is such a true aspect of how most look at those who live on the street. And no doubt, how they feel and know they are seen. So painfully realistic. Mmmm... might give this a go.
Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Wow, Michael... so this is the current potlatch challenge?
What a terrific job you have done with this. I could visualise the returned service man, living on the street, being treated like dirt. This is such a true aspect of how most look at those who live on the street. And no doubt, how they feel and know they are seen. So painfully realistic. Mmmm... might give this a go.
Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Ah. I see you DID give it a go. Coolness. I'm just getting around to answers and reviewing and stuff it's LATE here and I've little of my brain left. I'm so thrilled you liked this. Wow. What a great review. So pleased you joined our little cult ... I mean group. LOL!!!! Thanks so much, mikey
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Sad topic, and you handled it beautifully. I felt what he felt, and I was glad when I could stop reading. I have a lot of diseases, but so far not the big-C. :)
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Sad topic, and you handled it beautifully. I felt what he felt, and I was glad when I could stop reading. I have a lot of diseases, but so far not the big-C. :)
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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It remains sooooo scary even though there's great treatment and the prognosis is often excellent. But, of course, untreated, there's no hope at all. Glad you liked this. This type of writing is a great exercise. I really think it's improving my writing somehow. :)) mikey
Comment from barkingdog
You certainly got his anger at the establishment for leaving him behind. He should have had proper care as a vet, but instead had to live on the streets and put up with ridicule and then die alone in the desert.
How many forgotten souls are there like this? Still out there.
Strong and memorable.
:) e
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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You certainly got his anger at the establishment for leaving him behind. He should have had proper care as a vet, but instead had to live on the streets and put up with ridicule and then die alone in the desert.
How many forgotten souls are there like this? Still out there.
Strong and memorable.
:) e
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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I've seen this first hand and it's a true shame. There are a lot, believe me. I can walk to them every day. There are so many it's impossible for me to make a dent. Thanks so much. I'm so pleased this had an impact for you. :)) mikey
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Mikey, I liked this a lot. That was a great entry that shows the utter dispair the poor man is going through. Wouldn't like to be in that situation. So alone and so forgotten despite the sacrifice for his country. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Wow, Mikey, I liked this a lot. That was a great entry that shows the utter dispair the poor man is going through. Wouldn't like to be in that situation. So alone and so forgotten despite the sacrifice for his country. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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I'm so pleased you liked this. A rather sad topic, so I suppose this is what a lot of the pieces came out like. Thanks so much. mikey
Comment from Susanjohn
WOW don't know where to start....homelessness.. ugh everywhere...everyone has a story...and ya know so many people in this position..cancer, mental...whatever...your piece reminds me of the attitudes I deal with..compelling piece..
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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WOW don't know where to start....homelessness.. ugh everywhere...everyone has a story...and ya know so many people in this position..cancer, mental...whatever...your piece reminds me of the attitudes I deal with..compelling piece..
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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It's a horrible problem, Susan. I can walk out the door and talk to homeless vets anytime of the day or night. It's a disgrace. I take care of mentally ill folks, so I know first hand how insane the whole system is. Thanks so much, mikey
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
The last days of a person's life while terminally I'll. Try to make it as normal as possible although they know their time to go is near.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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The last days of a person's life while terminally I'll. Try to make it as normal as possible although they know their time to go is near.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Exactly. A perfect analysis. Thanks so much, mikey
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Michael,
Your diary entries are so poignant from the POV of a man who has given up. You did a great job giving readers so much about his history & inner thoughts from what he wrote instead of just saying "He has cancer." I was engaged from the beginning to the end with the story.
There are so many homeless, each with their own story, that most care not to hear. The stealing of the Grey Goose was funny in a sad way--almost like who cares he stole it because who cares about the man who stole it.
You did a great job with the POV. Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Michael,
Your diary entries are so poignant from the POV of a man who has given up. You did a great job giving readers so much about his history & inner thoughts from what he wrote instead of just saying "He has cancer." I was engaged from the beginning to the end with the story.
There are so many homeless, each with their own story, that most care not to hear. The stealing of the Grey Goose was funny in a sad way--almost like who cares he stole it because who cares about the man who stole it.
You did a great job with the POV. Thanks for sharing & caring. Jan
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
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Just delighted to hear these great words. Wow. You mention everything I could possibly hope for. Thanks a million, mikey