Comment from Mabaker

Excellent

God, I hope he makes it. I have a 'Gary' only my son's name is Shane. He would be fifty now wherever he is. He was the middle child of five and was always different. Doctors had him on adult dosage of Valium at age ten. Later he stole anything he could, money from the teachers desk to other kids lunch and money. I don't know where he is, nor do I want to. He steals from us as well. Regards Anne.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Thank you for your time to read and review. I'm very sorry to hear about your son. This story is loosely based on my own situation with my son. I'm hoping I receive a phone call like this one. I get texts from him now and then, so I know he is okay, but still using,
~patty~

Comment from trumby

Excellent

I've got a Diploma in Street Evangelism from Teen Challenge so I can relate to this one. I think that the mother wants to be very careful at this point as addicts can be very manipulative. Is this really based on your situation?
I can encourage you to never stop praying and never give up.

 Comment Written 15-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Dec-2016

Thank you for your time to read and review. I appreciate your comments and thoughts.
~patty~

Comment from dweigt

Excellent

Very good, heartfelt and sincere.

I have a few minor suggestions:

Placing the much-needed caffeine in the microwave, she watched as the timer counted down from 60. Being awake before 5 in the morning wasn't unusual for her. -- You may want to write out the numbers, sixty and five. I'm not sure there is any hard and fast rule, but I think it would look better.


her two grand babies -- grand-babies.


Recognizing it was her son's ringtone -- try to cut unneeded words. Consider: Recognizing her son's ringtone...

get 'outta this mess -- spelling of slang is always hard, but I don't think you need an apostrophe here. Try outta instead. -- get outta this mess

Keep writing!

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2016

Thank you so much for your time to read and review. I will incorporate your suggestions - I appreciate your time in critiquing.
~patty~

Comment from persevere

Excellent

I was glued to this story from beginning to end. Your writing flows easily. Mothers never stop worrying about their children and this mother, with her husband away often, had more time on her own to be concerned.
Gary's phone call came just before dawn with encouraging news. The rising sun , accompanying the mother's rising hopes, is a perfect ending to your story.

 Comment Written 14-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 14-Dec-2016

Thank you so much for your time to read and review. Your comments and thoughts made me very happy. I wanted the sun to represent hope, and you saw that. Thanks again,
~patty~

Comment from oliver818

Excellent

That's a very beautiful story, I'm very glad it turned out well! I hope the same thing happens for you. Thanks for sharing and have a great day!
Oliver

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016

Thank you for your time to read and review. Your comments and thoughts are greatly appreciated - I hope the same thing happens for me, too - I pray for it daily.
~patty~

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Hello my friend I just hope you get the call your waiting for very soon it would be such a lot of pressure lifted for you well done on this write regards Jill

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016

Hi Jill; thank you so much for reading and reviewing. Yes, this piece came from the heart and imagination of a woman waiting for just such a call. Praying it could still happen,
~patty~

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Well, I hope and pray you get it soon. I can't begin to imagine the pain you are going through. Your story was tender and sweet, of only they could all end like that. Well done, beautifully written, :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016

Thank you for your time to read and review. I appreciate your thoughts and comments. It was a difficult thing to write because I imagine that call every day. (It never turns out the same, and it never comes.)
~patty~

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 13-Dec-2016

Don't give up hope, Patty. I still my happen.

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

And I pray you will get that phone call my friend.
It is heartbreaking to have a loved one addicted
to drugs or alcohol. They have to get to the point where they want to change, you can't do it for the. There are some cases where their health is an issue and they have to quit or die. God bless you and your loved one. Nancy

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016

Thank you for your time to read and review. I appreciate your comments and thoughts. I pray that someday this story will be true - I can only imagine that the phone call will go just like I wrote it.
~patty~

Comment from bookishfabler

Excellent

AS I read your story, in third person, I recognized a lot of your life. I'm assuming the fiction part is the phone call that he will be safe in rehab. Thank you for sharing your story.
hugs Heidi

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016

Thank you for reading, Heidi. You hit it right on the head - this represents the phone call I've been waiting for. As it turns out, one that my family is waiting for. My daughter and husband read it before I posted and both of them cried.
~patty~

reply by bookishfabler on 14-Dec-2016

I'm so sorry.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

An addict knows how to play the heartstrings of his loved ones. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a smooth flow of words.

 Comment Written 13-Dec-2016

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016

Thank you for your time to read and review. I appreciate your comments and thoughts.
~patty~