Humanity Project
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Book of Hokee"A science fiction book about genetic engineering.
29 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, another great chapter. I like the way you put everything in to context. I don't know about the human species. Reminds me of a period in history I would rather had not happened. Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Hi Rhonda, another great chapter. I like the way you put everything in to context. I don't know about the human species. Reminds me of a period in history I would rather had not happened. Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Ulla. It's a sort of serious subject they are going into. It's a message about more than just a story. It's a commentary of the way people treat others.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Pam (respa)
-The first thing I liked in the chapter is Archie having
a copy of "The Humanity Project" in his bag.
-I also like the beginning descriptions of their cave.
-This is a good comment by Archie: "it's nice. As a matter of fact, if it weren't for the circumstances, I'd think this was another of my father's camping trips . . . but with much better company . . . ."
-There is very good imagery, as in the description of Koko and Ayala.
-A nice touch when Ayala wants to see and read the book with Archie.
-Sani seems to think that searchers aren't far behind; that can get tense.
-A good chapter, Rhonda.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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-The first thing I liked in the chapter is Archie having
a copy of "The Humanity Project" in his bag.
-I also like the beginning descriptions of their cave.
-This is a good comment by Archie: "it's nice. As a matter of fact, if it weren't for the circumstances, I'd think this was another of my father's camping trips . . . but with much better company . . . ."
-There is very good imagery, as in the description of Koko and Ayala.
-A nice touch when Ayala wants to see and read the book with Archie.
-Sani seems to think that searchers aren't far behind; that can get tense.
-A good chapter, Rhonda.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Pam! I appreciate the detail of your review.
Archie does have the book tucked away, and now he has time to read it, and to share with Ayala, who is just beginning to come around.
Thanks for the wonderful six stars... two in one week, and I thank you for it profusely.
Take care,
Rhonda
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You are very welcome and deserving, Rhonda. It did seem that Ayala was coming around, and that will be helpful to the group. I liked the chapter. Have a great day.
Comment from rspoet
It sounds like a comfy dugout cave in the desert
Must have been a lot of digging to have room for four.
I'd rather be there than in Hokee.
So, it seems Koko and Ayala might be twin sisters
in real life, not just Hokee sisters.
And now to the Book, and an ominous beginning:
"In order to repair generations of poor breeding and bad choices"
Sounds like the beginning of Big Brother, 1984, and many other tyrannies, only a few decades later. Also sounds like the end of freedom.
Another excellent chapter
Well done
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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It sounds like a comfy dugout cave in the desert
Must have been a lot of digging to have room for four.
I'd rather be there than in Hokee.
So, it seems Koko and Ayala might be twin sisters
in real life, not just Hokee sisters.
And now to the Book, and an ominous beginning:
"In order to repair generations of poor breeding and bad choices"
Sounds like the beginning of Big Brother, 1984, and many other tyrannies, only a few decades later. Also sounds like the end of freedom.
Another excellent chapter
Well done
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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It does sound a bit comfy, doesn't it?
Yes, poor Archie did a lot of digging, but he had a lot of frustrations to work out, poor guy!
Koko and Ayala have a lot of learning to do, and it's not all going to be pleasant.
Big Brother is a bit like this story, and so many of the others where a group of people think it's okay to mess with other people's lives.
Thanks for the wonderful six star rating!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Improving the human race? Bringing to mind Hitler, making it really frightening. I'm eager to know what's in the book ...........please.
Not a nit in sight - a well written chapter, Rhonda. Margaret
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Improving the human race? Bringing to mind Hitler, making it really frightening. I'm eager to know what's in the book ...........please.
Not a nit in sight - a well written chapter, Rhonda. Margaret
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Yes, and many other attempts of tyrants to come up with what they think is a pure species. A fight for all ages.
Thanks for the check for spag, and for your welcomed commentary.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Lu Saluna
Talk about your cliffhangers, that one really got me. I really wanted to hear more about this book. Now we are really getting down to the nitty-gritty.
Can hardly wait!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Talk about your cliffhangers, that one really got me. I really wanted to hear more about this book. Now we are really getting down to the nitty-gritty.
Can hardly wait!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Lu. Yes, it's about to hit the fire now. A reveal and action on its way. Thanks for reading, and for the encouraging review. Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from BOO ghost
Appreciate your table of contents. Like this paragraph description: The cover bore an emblazoned image of a golden hawk. Its wings outstretched as though in flight. A rat clutched in one claw, the other, a hare. In the background, a full moon glowed, illuminating a valley below. A gorge silhouetted the other nine animals of the other Hokee houses. You described it nicely. Story chapter held BOO's interest. Like the character names and plot. Missed a few chapters but i can sort of put the pieces of the puzzle together. BOO is a procrastinator at large. i disappear as quick as i come. grammar looks OK to me. Anything can be improved. Hard to get perfection. i am never satisfied. Nice entertaining read with twists of imagination and wit. BOO!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Appreciate your table of contents. Like this paragraph description: The cover bore an emblazoned image of a golden hawk. Its wings outstretched as though in flight. A rat clutched in one claw, the other, a hare. In the background, a full moon glowed, illuminating a valley below. A gorge silhouetted the other nine animals of the other Hokee houses. You described it nicely. Story chapter held BOO's interest. Like the character names and plot. Missed a few chapters but i can sort of put the pieces of the puzzle together. BOO is a procrastinator at large. i disappear as quick as i come. grammar looks OK to me. Anything can be improved. Hard to get perfection. i am never satisfied. Nice entertaining read with twists of imagination and wit. BOO!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Boo, and you are so right, I read it a hundred times before posting, making changes each time. Finally, I give up and post, and then still make changes. If not for deadlines (self imposes), I'd never get anything done.
I'm glad the imagery worked, that's the hardest thing for me, because I prefer dialogue, but not everything can be described by characters. haha.
Take care, Boo!
Rhonda
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have a wonderful day! BOO
Comment from MelB
It's almost like Hitler and the Nazi's. They have decided to "improve" the human race. I wonder what else they will find in that book?
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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It's almost like Hitler and the Nazi's. They have decided to "improve" the human race. I wonder what else they will find in that book?
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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It is a lot like Hitler and the Nazi's! That was the intention. Of course, he wasn't the only person who's tried the genetic perfection thing, but he is one of the most famous. Great insight,
Rhonda
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It's a frightening thought that others tried this too. Funny thing is humans are still fallible, no matter what.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Rhonda, I truly admire the talent you possess plus the greatest imagination with writing very good, no exceptional story lines. This has one of those exceptional story with the excellent dialogue between all the characters represented. I like the way you are presenting Archie at with him being a Senator and a President's son. Seems down to earth and I think he is becoming very attracted to Ayala. Don't say anything if I might be right, I want to romantic.
Another great chapter my friend.
Rhonda, I hope you and your family has a great Friday and the upcoming weekend,
Jim xxx
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Rhonda, I truly admire the talent you possess plus the greatest imagination with writing very good, no exceptional story lines. This has one of those exceptional story with the excellent dialogue between all the characters represented. I like the way you are presenting Archie at with him being a Senator and a President's son. Seems down to earth and I think he is becoming very attracted to Ayala. Don't say anything if I might be right, I want to romantic.
Another great chapter my friend.
Rhonda, I hope you and your family has a great Friday and the upcoming weekend,
Jim xxx
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Jim, you're such a sweetheart! I won't say a word about any possibilities between my leading lady and man. Maybe she goes for older men, and gets with Sani! lol.
Thanks a lot, my friend.
xoxo.
Rhonda
Comment from giraffmang
Well written chapter and Ayala seems to be softening which is a good thing. Nice hook for the next chapter.
but with much better company . . . ."
- just three dots is customary.
I wouldn't expect less - perhaps I would expect no less here instead.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Well written chapter and Ayala seems to be softening which is a good thing. Nice hook for the next chapter.
but with much better company . . . ."
- just three dots is customary.
I wouldn't expect less - perhaps I would expect no less here instead.
All the best
G
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Okay, on the ellipse issue, I have three different schools of thought. Please help me on it. One says that there is supposed to be a space before them, and spaces between, and at the end of the sentence, there are to be four. Others say no space before the ellipses, and only three at the end of the sentence. Please advise!
I like the rewrite of that sentence. It does sound better, thanks!
Rhonda
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three dots, not sure about spacing though.
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Okay, thanks!
Comment from Mike Stevens
Another fine chapter, Rhonda--and what is the damn discovery? You can't leave me hanging like a clueless idiot from The Hook of the Damned!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Another fine chapter, Rhonda--and what is the damn discovery? You can't leave me hanging like a clueless idiot from The Hook of the Damned!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
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Mike, I so love your sense of humor!! I'll post the next chapter, probably Sunday as I have to present the Chemistry Corporate thingy at a conference tomorrow. Wish me luck!