Echoes of Artistry
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Grant to Me"NaPoWriMo 2017
22 total reviews
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Great research notes for a fine poem. I enjoyed the gentle flow of the sonnet and the reverence it paid the poet, the words, his goal and your taking up the mantle. Well done. - Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Great research notes for a fine poem. I enjoyed the gentle flow of the sonnet and the reverence it paid the poet, the words, his goal and your taking up the mantle. Well done. - Wendy
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, Wendy. I appreciate your comments.
Kim
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review, Wendy. I appreciate your comments.
Kim
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Sonnet, in the style of Shelley's Ozymandias. I am so glad Shakespeare is not the dominant Sonnet writer anymore, there are many other sonnet writers that we can follow easily.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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A very well-written Sonnet, in the style of Shelley's Ozymandias. I am so glad Shakespeare is not the dominant Sonnet writer anymore, there are many other sonnet writers that we can follow easily.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi Sandra,
Shelley was really quite brilliant. I was really taken with the story of he and his friend both writing Ozymandias sonnets. And thus, the poetry contest was born by their generation, I suppose! lol Who would have thought? Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate your comments. I will say, though, that the rhyme scheme in this one almost had me baffled, but I persevered!
Kim
Comment from sunnilicious
Great artwork choice. Nice storytelling in a poem. Well thought out and nicely written. I think materialism is necessary to survive in modern society. Indain reservations seem far from normal, however, they are very spiritual people with a rich culture. Nice work.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Great artwork choice. Nice storytelling in a poem. Well thought out and nicely written. I think materialism is necessary to survive in modern society. Indain reservations seem far from normal, however, they are very spiritual people with a rich culture. Nice work.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi Sunni:
Up here in Alaska there aren't any Indian reservations, although there are a multitude of Native villages. Most have some modernization but there are still several that attempt to preserve the old ways and are in remote areas that can't be driven to or accessed in an easy manner. This particular picture comes from a replica of a Native village and is in a place called Pioneer Park, right in the middle of Fairbanks. As lamented in my poem yesterday, I think materialism is one of the main things wrong with our society today. I hope it isn't necessary for all or I'll be doomed lol Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
Kim
Comment from Sasha
I enjoyed this lovely sonnet and your marvelous notes that accompanied it. Congratulations on having the baton making you the poet of the of the future for Alaska. What an honor, I have no doubt you will earn that title. I am so proud of you.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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I enjoyed this lovely sonnet and your marvelous notes that accompanied it. Congratulations on having the baton making you the poet of the of the future for Alaska. What an honor, I have no doubt you will earn that title. I am so proud of you.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi!
I don't know about all that, but it was a cool comment. Now I have something I have to strive to live up to lol He was an interesting character. I need to go to future meetings just to hear more stories. Thanks for a great review.
Kim
Comment from Lindagail Hall
Hi, Dovey. I really enjoyed reading this, I like the idea of not letting money rule your life and the nomad I picked up as a minstrel, which in the 10 century were very popular here in the UK
I'm surprised this is in the sonnet form I was taught that a sonnet had three sets of four lines stanzas then two line ending that line one rhymed with line three and two and four the same. Your write has a smooth off the tongue mode that I was taught at school all poetry should be read out loud. I'd like to come back to this later today in a rush for hospital appointment. Hope that's ok.?
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi, Dovey. I really enjoyed reading this, I like the idea of not letting money rule your life and the nomad I picked up as a minstrel, which in the 10 century were very popular here in the UK
I'm surprised this is in the sonnet form I was taught that a sonnet had three sets of four lines stanzas then two line ending that line one rhymed with line three and two and four the same. Your write has a smooth off the tongue mode that I was taught at school all poetry should be read out loud. I'd like to come back to this later today in a rush for hospital appointment. Hope that's ok.?
Comment Written 20-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi Lindagail:
I'm so happy that you would want to come back for more review. This is lovely. Definitely the Shakespearean Sonnet is what you are describing. Here are some articles that might be of interest for you:
https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/text/sonnet-poetic-form
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonnet
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/resources/learning/glossary-terms/detail/sonnet
http://www.sonnets.org/basicforms.htm
That last article has a bunch of really good examples.
The main styles are Shakespearean (English) Sonnet, Petrarchan (Italian) Sonnet, Spenserian, which is a variation of the English sonnet rhyme scheme, and Kyrielle Sonnet. None of these have the same rhyme scheme that Shelley used in Ozymandias, though, his has always been historically called a sonnet ever since he first wrote and published it.
I appreciate your comments and the discussion :)
Kim
Comment from Dean Kuch
Thanks for penning such a lovely poem true to the nature of Percy Shelley, Kim. His work has always been among my favorites of the classic poets.
While we're quick to celebrate the tradition of American poetry--the Edgar Allan Poes, Walt Whitmans, Emily Dickinsons and Langston Hugheses who helped create a uniquely American voice--we cannot forget how poets from across the pond shared history with the beginnings of American poetry, from the poets like John Keats, and Percy Bysshe Shelley, whose literary career was marked with controversy due to his views on religion, atheism, and socialism, but whose work has made an indelible mark on our understanding of poetry in America.
On 8 July 1822, at the age of 29, Shelley made preparations to return to Lerici in his modified boat, the Don Juan, planning to take with him both Williams and an 18-year-old boat-boy called Charles Vivian. There were warnings of bad weather, but despite the fact that Shelley had no particular need to travel that day, he insisted on sailing anyhow.
The next time the boat was sighted was several hours later, in the midst of the storm, toiling in heavy seas and carrying a reckless amount of sail in such high winds. The captain of another boat risked the safety of his own crew to go alongside and offer to take Shelley and his companions on board, but Shelley refused.
It was ten days before the bodies were found, and by then Shelley was identifiable only by the clothes he wore, and the book of Keats' poems he had in his pocket. His face and hands had been completely eaten away.
The bodies were buried in the sand where they were found, near Viareggio, to satisfy Italian quarantine regulations. A month later, on August 16th, Shelley's body was dug up again - I shudder to think the state it must have been in by then - and burned on a pyre on the beach, in the presence of Lord Byron and Shelley's friends Edward Trelawney and Leigh Hunt, a scene immortalised in a famous painting by Louis Edouard Fournier. It seems Shelley's heart refused to burn, and Trelawney fished it from the ashes and gave it to Hunt. Later, and after a rather unseemly struggle, he surrendered it to Mary, who kept it wrapped in silk in her writing case, until the end of her days.
Shelley's ashes were buried in the Protestant cemetery in Rome, and the stone bears the inscription:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Thank you for including the informative author's notes as well.
Grrrrrrrreat job!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Thanks for penning such a lovely poem true to the nature of Percy Shelley, Kim. His work has always been among my favorites of the classic poets.
While we're quick to celebrate the tradition of American poetry--the Edgar Allan Poes, Walt Whitmans, Emily Dickinsons and Langston Hugheses who helped create a uniquely American voice--we cannot forget how poets from across the pond shared history with the beginnings of American poetry, from the poets like John Keats, and Percy Bysshe Shelley, whose literary career was marked with controversy due to his views on religion, atheism, and socialism, but whose work has made an indelible mark on our understanding of poetry in America.
On 8 July 1822, at the age of 29, Shelley made preparations to return to Lerici in his modified boat, the Don Juan, planning to take with him both Williams and an 18-year-old boat-boy called Charles Vivian. There were warnings of bad weather, but despite the fact that Shelley had no particular need to travel that day, he insisted on sailing anyhow.
The next time the boat was sighted was several hours later, in the midst of the storm, toiling in heavy seas and carrying a reckless amount of sail in such high winds. The captain of another boat risked the safety of his own crew to go alongside and offer to take Shelley and his companions on board, but Shelley refused.
It was ten days before the bodies were found, and by then Shelley was identifiable only by the clothes he wore, and the book of Keats' poems he had in his pocket. His face and hands had been completely eaten away.
The bodies were buried in the sand where they were found, near Viareggio, to satisfy Italian quarantine regulations. A month later, on August 16th, Shelley's body was dug up again - I shudder to think the state it must have been in by then - and burned on a pyre on the beach, in the presence of Lord Byron and Shelley's friends Edward Trelawney and Leigh Hunt, a scene immortalised in a famous painting by Louis Edouard Fournier. It seems Shelley's heart refused to burn, and Trelawney fished it from the ashes and gave it to Hunt. Later, and after a rather unseemly struggle, he surrendered it to Mary, who kept it wrapped in silk in her writing case, until the end of her days.
Shelley's ashes were buried in the Protestant cemetery in Rome, and the stone bears the inscription:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Thank you for including the informative author's notes as well.
Grrrrrrrreat job!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi Dean,
Wow! Thank you for sharing that tremendous story. I knew that he drowned, but I knew nothing of the rest of the tale. That is almost a macabre story in the making ;) I'll let you write it! No wonder Mary wrote Frankenstein, keeping his heart wrapped in silk until her death. I'll give you the title (ok, I'll borrow the title lol) You write the story... "Dead Poets Society"... I think you could really do something with that! Thank you for the history and this fantastic review!
Kim
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I've been a fan of Mary Shelley (for obvious reasons) and poet Percy Bysshe Shelley since my college days in the mid eighties, Kim.
As for the story, I'll see what I can do.
You're more than welcome.
~Dean :)
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On a side note... August 16th is my mom's birthday. It is also the day Elvis died. She really loved Elvis. Me, being a silly kid, thought it was cool that someone she admired died on her birthday. I'm not so clueless anymore lol I'm impressed that you remembered the date.
I just want to say I know you when this story makes you famous ;)
Kim
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Makes ME famous?
I'm giving you all the credit, heh-heh...
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It will be a fantastic story, I can tell already. lol Not that I would advocate a séance, but can you imagine if we brought these men and women back for a night of conversation in an entertaining scene... oh wait... that was the premise of my last year's NaPo book lol What an incredible night that would be! A night spent in the company of the masters.
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Yep, I imagine a lot could be learned at a meeting like that. :)
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hi Kim. This looks like it would have been such a challenging poem to write with this different rhyme scheme. You did a great job! Congrats on being passed the baton to be the poet of the future for Alaska. That is quite an honor, and so well deserved!
I love the pic of the Totem pole and the story behind your inspiration for this write. My fave line: "Whilst money's not the thing we hold dear" ... this speaks volumes about the Alaskan people. - - Connie
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi Kim. This looks like it would have been such a challenging poem to write with this different rhyme scheme. You did a great job! Congrats on being passed the baton to be the poet of the future for Alaska. That is quite an honor, and so well deserved!
I love the pic of the Totem pole and the story behind your inspiration for this write. My fave line: "Whilst money's not the thing we hold dear" ... this speaks volumes about the Alaskan people. - - Connie
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi Connie,
It was a fun comment and meant to inspire, I'm sure. It certainly worked for this poem. I read one of my poems from NaPo last year and then answered a lot of questions about NaPo and my process, my goal of 30 poems this month, etc. Then he asked me who my favorite poets are and I replied that there can't be just one.
Emily Dickinson was my first choice, but I named four off the top of my head... Poe, Frost, and Robert Service included. Then he says, you'll like this, and proceeded to tell us a story about a lady he'd met in Canada. She had some literary connection, I think, but I didn't catch quite what it was, just that he was really excited to talk to her, she was about a hundred years old but very spry. Long story short, he told of the stories she told him, the highlight of which was being friends with Robert Service and of him reciting poetry to their circle of friends/acquaintances.
The stories he told last night were all like that. Quite a fascinating exchange. Thanks for the spectacular comments and review!
Kim
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Hi Kim. Thanks for telling me about his connection with this old lady and her connection with Robert Service. I'll bet it was fun to hear this man talk about it all. Hearing that Robert Service read poetry to his circle of acquaintances and friends really made me smile. Hey, that was kind of like their version of Fanstory back then. I love it when I hear of people getting together to share their stories and crafts to bring enjoyment to others. What could be better than that!
A friend of mine is a drummer for a local band, and they are the opening act for the Chinook Musical Society here in Calgary (its basically a Folk Club). Through my friend I learned about them. The Society is sponsored by The Performing Arts. Every three weeks in the Winter for just $25./ticket I get to see the most amazing musicians (many are award winning musicians). Many are not that well known by the general public, but they are very accomplished musicians. It is soOO much fun to see them perform, and I just love it when they tell us about themselves and give a history of the inspiration behind the writing of their song lyrics before they perform the number. They have some really great stories to tell.
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That sounds awesome, Connie! We were rooting for the Flames last night. Tough break. Love your goalie! Chad Johnson went to school at UAF and you know how I feel about my Nanook hockey team lol. He is the one who I had a standing joke with one season that every time they won I would write them a poem. He was the CCHA goalie of the year that season.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Grant To Me' is a great poem.
My favorite part: 'I sensed in him the need to carry on,
his stories were the song a minstrel sings,
in me, indeed, he'll pass on this baton.'
That makes me think of my Aunt Cathy. She could write uplifting poetry. Her handwriting was even beautiful.
Very nice artwork: The image shown is a good fit for this poem.
The author's notes are very much appreciated.- Thank you!
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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'Grant To Me' is a great poem.
My favorite part: 'I sensed in him the need to carry on,
his stories were the song a minstrel sings,
in me, indeed, he'll pass on this baton.'
That makes me think of my Aunt Cathy. She could write uplifting poetry. Her handwriting was even beautiful.
Very nice artwork: The image shown is a good fit for this poem.
The author's notes are very much appreciated.- Thank you!
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi Nicole:
Thanks for taking the time to read and review. I appreciate all of your excellent comments.
Kim
Comment from Rlegel99
Poem about being the future if writers. The artwork works well with this poem. The author notes help clarify. This poem flows well. Thanks for sharing this piece or poetry.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Poem about being the future if writers. The artwork works well with this poem. The author notes help clarify. This poem flows well. Thanks for sharing this piece or poetry.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi Rlegel:
I'm happy that you enjoyed this selection. Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
Kim
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you take famous poems and then make your own based on that one. It does make one think about how our lives and words would be remembered in future worlds. I'm glad you chose poetry to leave your mark.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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I like how you take famous poems and then make your own based on that one. It does make one think about how our lives and words would be remembered in future worlds. I'm glad you chose poetry to leave your mark.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017
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Hi lyenochka,
What a supreme compliment, thank you so much. I appreciate all of your remarks. Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
Kim