Comment from sharonlshelley

Excellent

I adore you poem is full of love, character and emotion amazing showing how many ways love can be wrote about and the picture reflects your poem lovely .Sharon

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

What a sweet review!! Thank you so very much!

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

Just beautiful. Your love poems are always beyond compare, and your imagery, and expressions used are original and quite charming. Like the picture, your words have us walking through a meadow of wildflowers. Blessings....

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

HI SWEETIE!! I've missed YOUR poetry!!...promise to get over to your page soon.Thanks for the kind words!!

Comment from Eternal Muse

Excellent

That is absolutely gorgeous, and I only wish I had a sixer to give it, but alas, my larder is empty.

Absolutely perfect, with your delightful rhymes, flow, meter, the metaphors, the sentiment, the exquisite font (what is it - is it one of FS fonts?)

Your lovely presentation completes the delight. What a glorious poem.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Thank you so much for this sweet review!!! I'm smiling!!...yes, FS font. LOL no way I could manage anything more complicated!..Thanks again!!

Comment from Heather Knight

Excellent

I love the elegant olde worlde language you use in your poem. I wouldn't be able to write like this myself. I do envy you.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

:-) sure you can!!! If I can learn, you can too!!!... ( really, i'm a challenging student lol)..Thank you for this review and the kind words. hugs

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

This is a very beautiful love poem Susan. You certainly prove yourself to be a word smith. I love the story from beginning to the sad ending.I have one suggestion for change.
Life's mys'tries often ne'er be shown,
Life's mysteries oft ne'er be shown.
Well done, Good Luck. Nancy

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

HI NANCY!...OFT..hmmmm I like that! let me think on that....( thank you for the suggestion)...Thank you for this wonderful ( and helpful) review!! Hugs

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

thank you for sharing this beautiful love poem. This should be a good entry in the Love Poem Poetry Contest. With each line, you created great imagery and the piece moves with the grace of rhyme and rhythm.

Good luck in the contest,

~patty~

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Hi patty!! thanks for the review!! I do appreciate you :-)

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written love poem. After a loved one dies we cannot find the same kind of relationship we had with the loved one and we will always love them even when we find another love.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

HI SANDRA!!!Thanks so much for reading/review!! hugs

Comment from dragonpoet

Exceptional

This is a well written ballad of love from inception through marriage to loss in death.
It shows love is saving and eternal.

Good luck in the contest.

Keep writing

dragonpoet

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2017

Well thank you very much!!!!! always appreciate your reviews! :-))) and the extra star!!!!! HUGS

reply by dragonpoet on 22-Jul-2017

You are so very welcome on all accounts. It was well deserved.

Joan

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Bravo for a very strong entry! Enjoyed it.

Love the way this sounds read aloud, especially with the S sounds in the first stanza (note suggestions--optional):

Beneath a honey(-)crested sky,
spark rays of hip(-)swayed light ...
amidst a secret garden sigh,
hope's visions soon delight.


Love the metaphor and personification:

love's heeded longing's urgent plea,
with potter's hands; formed whole.


SWEET:
Of kindness showered in reprise,
sent burdens far away...
hence, forging trust when sadness dies,
behest; forever stay.

"Life's mys'tries often ne'er be shown,

Suggest using OFT to keep the similar flavor of diction (and it sounds smoother read aloud, to my ear, too):


"Life's mys'tries oft' ne'er be shown,

beautiful stanza love the rhymes and slant rhymes:

Oh, lovelier than lyrics sung,
sweet gilded sentiments!
Love's ceaseless etchings have begun ...
beloved testaments.

*suggestion:

Once(-)silenced voice,(no ,) can now declare
(the Heaven's so attest),


The closing stanza is my favorite, especially the first line (love the consonance of S, C-K and L) and the lovely tone and closing note (note one spag suggestion too):

Alas! Dusk beckons petals close,
bid gardens sweet adieu ...
much needed slumber, I suppose;
but,(no ,) I'm still loving you.

Almost a six.

Beautiful work. Lovely presentation.

 Comment Written 20-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017

You sweetie! I posted the incorrect version of this poem..fixed that....but let me study up on your suggestions...I SO APPRECIATE THE HELP!!! hugs....lol what's a SPAG?

reply by rama devi on 20-Jul-2017

Ah! that explains a lot! I've done that before as well.

Spag stands for:
S- spelling
P- punctuation
A- and
G- grammar

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

Susan, my dear poet. You certainly have a way with words. A true romantic wordsmith whose lovely, sing-song styled poetry graces these pages time and time again.
This beautifully penned poem for the Love Poem Poetry Contest is certainly no exception.
You wanna know what I regret most about reading this now? I have nary a six star rating to reward you for this stunning entry.
Let's just say I owe you one.
Exceptionally well done.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017

Don't make me cry Dean! Thank you for this review...no 6 stars needed, you sentiments are more than enough!...and mean more to me....sorry I've been away...I lost a very dear friend last month and i have been struggling since. logged on yesterday to post and stared reading my book cased poems ( of course, every other one is yours) Do you remember domino :-)? he wrote A Rainbow Appeared. it was the first sonnet I ever read...( I failed out of school) :-(..anyways, I totally feel in love with the Sonnet!!!...then, you came along.OMG..just unbelievable work!...do you know how long it took me to read all your stuff!?lol sure i missed a lot too.Thanks for all the help with my poetry too...Iv'e been writing just over a year now....I would have soooooo given up without your continued encouragement! so big giant hug to you Deano!!! My world is a MUCH nicer place for knowing you! :-)...( Better Weather...every time....EVERY TIME gets me!!!... ) :-).....and true to me! I posted the incorrect version of my poem....( THIS is so me)...fixed that too.

reply by Dean Kuch on 20-Jul-2017

You're exceptionally talented, Susan, and never allow anyone to tell you differently.
I really hope you win the contest.
Yes, I do remember Domino2 (Ray). He taught me a lot about meter and different styles of poetry. Lots of good people here have come and gone. I hope you're able to stick around awhile this time.
Take care, my friend. It'll get better, just hang in there.
~Deano :)

reply by the author on 20-Jul-2017

Yes ray!..he was a little rough around the edges..hehe.but i liked him...I once sent him a verse ( he was helping me understand meter)...he sent it back and said...that's the corniest line i have ever read,,,change it! lol.. anyway, i'll try and stick around...miss a lot of people here. have a wonderful day Deano

reply by Dean Kuch on 20-Jul-2017

Yep, that was our Domino alright, lol.
You do the same, Susan.
~Dean