Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 82 "Chapter Funfundzwanzig Part zwei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
20 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Barbara:
Unfortunately, I don't know a thing about muscle cars - classic or otherwise.
Wish I could help. I am excited to hear you are outlining a new novel. I love
reading your work. Can't wait to discover what the real issue is for the
attacks.
jan
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
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Barbara:
Unfortunately, I don't know a thing about muscle cars - classic or otherwise.
Wish I could help. I am excited to hear you are outlining a new novel. I love
reading your work. Can't wait to discover what the real issue is for the
attacks.
jan
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Yuck. Blood on her clothes. Blood on Drew. I don't like bloody stories. Stop the bleeding and kill the bad guys pleeeeese? Knives cut and make more blood. Get rid of them. Okay? :(
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
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Yuck. Blood on her clothes. Blood on Drew. I don't like bloody stories. Stop the bleeding and kill the bad guys pleeeeese? Knives cut and make more blood. Get rid of them. Okay? :(
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2018
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I think we are done with the blood. I surely hope so. Unless I rewrite something we are done. LOL: Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from apky
Great progress in the plot and I think Shana held up quite bravely under the detective's interrogation. Zachery on the other hand seems a bit too limp - he was a lot stronger a character when you brought him into the scene, teasing his brother and all that. Now, that Zachery would not have allowed the detective a foot near the door to Shana's bathroom - and thus stayed true to character.
I definitely knew it's a knife now. ~ You need to work on this and write it differently. For one thing, it's ungrammatical.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Great progress in the plot and I think Shana held up quite bravely under the detective's interrogation. Zachery on the other hand seems a bit too limp - he was a lot stronger a character when you brought him into the scene, teasing his brother and all that. Now, that Zachery would not have allowed the detective a foot near the door to Shana's bathroom - and thus stayed true to character.
I definitely knew it's a knife now. ~ You need to work on this and write it differently. For one thing, it's ungrammatical.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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I will check that sentence and work on Zack.. Thank you for the help.
Comment from c_lucas
I'm surprised, Zachery didn't use more forcible violence to keep the detective from opening the door. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
****
Detective Rollins help (HELD) up his pen.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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I'm surprised, Zachery didn't use more forcible violence to keep the detective from opening the door. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
****
Detective Rollins help (HELD) up his pen.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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I am going to fix Zack. I will make him stronger. Thank you.
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I reread your post, but I guess you haven't had time to fix it.
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I did fix it. I guess the change didn't work.
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I sent you an example.
Comment from Music Bob
I like how you give information about the ending of the previous post, it certainly helps with understanding the latest post much better.
I cant really suggest much for improvement. Good work.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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I like how you give information about the ending of the previous post, it certainly helps with understanding the latest post much better.
I cant really suggest much for improvement. Good work.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Very strong interview with the police. This is good and builds an interest to read on but it stopped. What ever you did, it recovered very strongly. Well done Barb.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Very strong interview with the police. This is good and builds an interest to read on but it stopped. What ever you did, it recovered very strongly. Well done Barb.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the encouragement. I need to make Zack stronger and I will.
Comment from royowen
Poor Shana, being steamrolled a little by a detective, is probably an unusual experience for her. She endeavours to tell the detective exactly what happened, about trying to give up the claim to the painting, but the "nasties" are still pursuing them, for some reason. Well done Barbara, blessings, Roy
Typo : Tear(s) welled in her eyes.
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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Poor Shana, being steamrolled a little by a detective, is probably an unusual experience for her. She endeavours to tell the detective exactly what happened, about trying to give up the claim to the painting, but the "nasties" are still pursuing them, for some reason. Well done Barbara, blessings, Roy
Typo : Tear(s) welled in her eyes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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I will fix that area. Thank you..
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Welcome.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Barb
I will say you know exactly what to write to keep
my full attention of every detail that Shana was telling the detective of what happened in the canning kitchen
As usual your ending makes me desire to read your next chapter.
Gert
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Hello Barb
I will say you know exactly what to write to keep
my full attention of every detail that Shana was telling the detective of what happened in the canning kitchen
As usual your ending makes me desire to read your next chapter.
Gert
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Sankey
Wow! The drama is escalating once more. You continue with new angles and the descriptions are so detailed. I love reading your stuff, as you know. Just one little spag."Kind of, he and [a] two other men
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reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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Wow! The drama is escalating once more. You continue with new angles and the descriptions are so detailed. I love reading your stuff, as you know. Just one little spag."Kind of, he and [a] two other men
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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I've made the correction. I had changed that sentence a the last minute and left a word in. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from Ulla
A Corvette 1975 T edition. It's beautiful and it has muscle. I've tried to drive it. Then there's the Morgan 8. A beauty of a car and has all the muscle you could ask for Should always be green coloured. A British vintage car and I've driven that as well.
Well now to your story. Shana is very good with the police, but she's not holding up very well the minute she's alone. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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A Corvette 1975 T edition. It's beautiful and it has muscle. I've tried to drive it. Then there's the Morgan 8. A beauty of a car and has all the muscle you could ask for Should always be green coloured. A British vintage car and I've driven that as well.
Well now to your story. Shana is very good with the police, but she's not holding up very well the minute she's alone. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Jun-2018
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2018
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I will do my research and figure out what best suits my story. I hate it when my characters have a mind of their own. LOL Thank you for the kind review.