Comment from Robbie Yates

Exceptional

This is adorable. I found myself stopping half-way through to grin to myself and wonder if Hallmark would steal it to put inside one of their greeting cards.

If I can make one suggestion - commas and full stops are generally supposed to go inside quote marks, so I would change

"vertically challenged", and "already there".

to

"vertically challenged," and "already there."

Feel free to ignore, of course!!

Good luck in the contest - I hope you do very well with this one :)

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018

Hi Robbie,

I would never ignore a suggestion made to help improve my work. My understanding is that the rule is, punctuation always goes inside quotes in the US, but in UK English (which is what I learned in school), it depends. If the sentence inside the quotes is complete in itself, it goes inside. If it's not a complete sentence, it goes outside. That's why I wrote those lines the way I did. But with the exclamation mark a couple of lines later, it is a full sentence, so it goes inside.

I have checked this out on several websites before, and this seems to be the consensus. Perhaps some institutions out here favour the US approach. Regardless, thank you for bringing it up. I would much rather you do, than you say nothing, and errors creep through :)

Many thanks once more for a fantastic review.

Craig

Comment from Pamusart

Exceptional

Well, Craig. There go my hopes for winning this contest. This is flawless in meter. Here in the states, station and thousand don't rhyme. Do they where you are? I have a handicap. Even though I know that where you are wind as in air rhymes with mind. But here they don't. But wind as in turn handle does rhyme. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018

Hi Pam. No, even in Australia, station and thousand don't rhyme :) But this poem isn't written in ABAB rhyme, it's ABCB -- which means in each stanza, lines two and four rhyme, but one and three don't. You'll see the other stanzas are the same.

I don't think you're in any danger from me. It's probably a bit unconventional to get any great result in the contest. But thanks for the lovely comments. :) Cheers, Craig

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

LOL, I guess in some quarters this would pass as a love poem, Craig. It is quite cute in a quaint kind of way. But the one thing we can agree on is that Jayne must be a saint to put up with your sense of humour. haaaaaa.

Excellent job and let's hope the Contest Committee also recognizes true love when they see it.

Gloria

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018

LOL so I guess it's not your cup of tea for a love poem. That's ok. I'm chuffed that two people so far have described it as "quaint". That's not a term usually used in association with myself -- at least not to my knowledge lol. As you know, I write to please myself, not to win :)

Many thanks, Gloria.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is such a sweet and romantic write about how you met the love of your life and I found it a joy to read, your unusual dialogue is quaint and joyful, loved it, love Dolly x

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018

Thanks so much, Dolly. I wasn't aiming for quaint, but I seem to have hit it. lol Most grateful, Craig

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Aww. Great job in this love poem that also uses your word of the day! Is it biographical? It's always a wonderful thing when just the right people meet and enjoy each other for life.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2018

---

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018

Yep, 100% true. Many thanks, Helen, most appreciated :)