RESIDUE OF WAR
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Desert Sand"And the futility of it all...
20 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
I am so sorry I don't have six-stars for this poem. I am crying from the feeling you have wrought with your meaningful words. So good to be back but so hard to throw off the coat of the war left behind. God Bless you or whoever this poem is about. The picture portrays the bleakness of the haunting scenery you try to forget.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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I am so sorry I don't have six-stars for this poem. I am crying from the feeling you have wrought with your meaningful words. So good to be back but so hard to throw off the coat of the war left behind. God Bless you or whoever this poem is about. The picture portrays the bleakness of the haunting scenery you try to forget.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thank you Raffaelina xo
Comment from judester
This is a well versed, rhyming poem that gives the reader a glimpse into one soldier's pondering and thoughts of coming home.
I love the line, though I had a speech rehearsed, I can't think what to say. The feelings are so overwhelming and fragile, every prepared word flies away. Hah, everyone can relate I believe.
So happy that there is love waiting for you. Some are not so lucky.
Bravo, this is timely and authentic.
Cheers, judester
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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This is a well versed, rhyming poem that gives the reader a glimpse into one soldier's pondering and thoughts of coming home.
I love the line, though I had a speech rehearsed, I can't think what to say. The feelings are so overwhelming and fragile, every prepared word flies away. Hah, everyone can relate I believe.
So happy that there is love waiting for you. Some are not so lucky.
Bravo, this is timely and authentic.
Cheers, judester
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much Judester xox
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written rhyming poem about the soldiers that are finally coming home after years of fighting in a foreign land for the safety of their people and left their own behind without protection. They will all return quite different from who they were.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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A very well-written rhyming poem about the soldiers that are finally coming home after years of fighting in a foreign land for the safety of their people and left their own behind without protection. They will all return quite different from who they were.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thank you Sandra for a glowing review and the six stars xoxo
Comment from Cindy Warren
It's so sad that our soldiers come back so changed. I can't imagine the things they must have seen over there. PTSD seems to mess up their lives. There has to be a better way. The fighting hasn't solved anything.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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It's so sad that our soldiers come back so changed. I can't imagine the things they must have seen over there. PTSD seems to mess up their lives. There has to be a better way. The fighting hasn't solved anything.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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No, it hasn't. Thanks Cindy, for such a thoughtful review xo
Comment from Mistydawn
I don't know if you served in the military, but if you are thank you for your service. It's because of people like you that our country remains free. Your poem is very well-written, interesting. Your great word choice, description took the readers on a journey of what it was like for you to return home see the love of your life again. I do wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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I don't know if you served in the military, but if you are thank you for your service. It's because of people like you that our country remains free. Your poem is very well-written, interesting. Your great word choice, description took the readers on a journey of what it was like for you to return home see the love of your life again. I do wish you all the best.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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No, I didn't serve Mistydawn. And thank you for your thoughts and review xoxo
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
War changes people, the risks and the images witnessed cannot be erased. Like any profound experience in life, we are affected, no longer innocent, and marked. Your write here as if you have experienced this yourself, there is some authenticity in these words, the sadness of conflict resonate deep, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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War changes people, the risks and the images witnessed cannot be erased. Like any profound experience in life, we are affected, no longer innocent, and marked. Your write here as if you have experienced this yourself, there is some authenticity in these words, the sadness of conflict resonate deep, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thanks Dolly. No, I haven't served, but try to write from the perspective of one who did. Though maybe I did serve in a past life?!?
Comment from C.M. Fife
I appreciate the sentiment behind this as well as the image it paints in the reader's mind. It's a great concept, I just don't know if I'm reading it with the wrong rhythm or not. It seems to rhyme different intervals that, were you to tighten up the phrasing and map it out a little more it could be something very special. Bless the soldiers. Well done.
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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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I appreciate the sentiment behind this as well as the image it paints in the reader's mind. It's a great concept, I just don't know if I'm reading it with the wrong rhythm or not. It seems to rhyme different intervals that, were you to tighten up the phrasing and map it out a little more it could be something very special. Bless the soldiers. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2019
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Thanks C M Fife, can you point out where the rhymes or rhythms seem to be out at all please?
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I honestly cannot, I'm sorry, it just seemed as though I couldn't find the groove. It's just my opinion, different strokes. Everybody has a different rhythm and maybe if I could hear you read it aloud it would sound more comfortable. It's a beautiful piece friend.
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I actually do understand what you're saying: what sounds or reafs right to one, may not to another. Thanks for your honesty!
Comment from LisaMay
That first stanza is wonderful. It sets a scene of beauty, then we are put into a poignant frame of mind to empathises with the returning soldier. What will be familiar? what will be find? - then we meet his lady, and her hesitation before flinging herself into his arms is very human.
You get across the feeling of war's futility very well.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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That first stanza is wonderful. It sets a scene of beauty, then we are put into a poignant frame of mind to empathises with the returning soldier. What will be familiar? what will be find? - then we meet his lady, and her hesitation before flinging herself into his arms is very human.
You get across the feeling of war's futility very well.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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Thanks so much LisaMay. I tweaked the first two stanzas in this poem for the contest and I'm glad I did. It's one I haven't posted anywhere until today, so I'm even happier you enjoyed it enough to rate and review xoxoxoxo
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I did notice the spacing in the first 2 stanzas is slightly different to the rest of them.
Comment from lyenochka
A very moving poem and it makes me grateful for our military men and women. At first, I thought of how traveling to a foreign place could change us. But how much more if sent to serve in a war to a strange place, there's no doubt it would permanently change us.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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A very moving poem and it makes me grateful for our military men and women. At first, I thought of how traveling to a foreign place could change us. But how much more if sent to serve in a war to a strange place, there's no doubt it would permanently change us.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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Thanks lyenochka. Travelling does change a person, but I agree that going to war in a strange place would completely transform most who serve. Not always for the better either, more's the pity xoxox
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Returning from any tour in combat is difficult, but more so when the battle was not theirs to begin (or end!) with... This is wonderful the way you bring out both the emotional and the physical aspects of the reunion! ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;) Yvette
P.S. The first two stanzas are in different font/spacing than the remaining ones....not sure if it was intentional so, I wanted to just let you know.. ;) :)
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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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Returning from any tour in combat is difficult, but more so when the battle was not theirs to begin (or end!) with... This is wonderful the way you bring out both the emotional and the physical aspects of the reunion! ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck in the contest! ;) Yvette
P.S. The first two stanzas are in different font/spacing than the remaining ones....not sure if it was intentional so, I wanted to just let you know.. ;) :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2019
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No, not intentional! Thanks for pointing that out. And thank you for a wonderful review as well Yvette xoxoxo
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Yes, ma'am! :)