Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Dreams Unfold"Musings of an old man -2020
39 total reviews
Comment from rspoet
Hello JLR,
You've write a fine poem for your first triolet.
One of the keys to a successful triolet is strong repeating lines
and yours are very good with strong imagery.
The rhymes are very well chosen.
Another key element is the meter, usually iambic pentameter,
five metrical feet of unstressed/stressed syllables.
A little work on meter and you'll have a marvelous triolet.
Nicely done
Robert
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
  |
Hello JLR,
You've write a fine poem for your first triolet.
One of the keys to a successful triolet is strong repeating lines
and yours are very good with strong imagery.
The rhymes are very well chosen.
Another key element is the meter, usually iambic pentameter,
five metrical feet of unstressed/stressed syllables.
A little work on meter and you'll have a marvelous triolet.
Nicely done
Robert
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Robert, thank you!
Comment from Janet Foor
Muses of the Heart is a lovely triolet especially for your first one.
Excellent artwork by cleo85 to enhance your well chosen words.
I really liked your repeating line.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
Muses of the Heart is a lovely triolet especially for your first one.
Excellent artwork by cleo85 to enhance your well chosen words.
I really liked your repeating line.
Well done.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Thank you!
Comment from dragonpoet
JLR
This is a well done triolet on your first try. It is illustrated well. I get a feeling of people wishing on the stars.
Keep writing and trying new poetry forms.
Joan
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
JLR
This is a well done triolet on your first try. It is illustrated well. I get a feeling of people wishing on the stars.
Keep writing and trying new poetry forms.
Joan
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Joan, thank you for the validation!
-
No problem.
Joan
Comment from June Sargent
This is beautifully crafted with its lovely imagery of casting our nets in hopes of catching fulfillment of our hopes and dreams! And gathering stardust to heal our souls. I really enjoyed this piece.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
This is beautifully crafted with its lovely imagery of casting our nets in hopes of catching fulfillment of our hopes and dreams! And gathering stardust to heal our souls. I really enjoyed this piece.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
June thanks much! Enjoy your weekend to the fullest!
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, I would love to see this with a dark background and white font like the stars, your descending lines flow very smoothly, very well written, with wonderful artwork****kahpot
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
Excellent, I would love to see this with a dark background and white font like the stars, your descending lines flow very smoothly, very well written, with wonderful artwork****kahpot
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Kahpot, I will need to do some time in advanced editor and try this suggestion out, thank you!
Comment from Dancemom
This is a well-written and beautiful poem. Your use of alliteration adds to the magic of the story about dreams.
Great job! Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
 |
This is a well-written and beautiful poem. Your use of alliteration adds to the magic of the story about dreams.
Great job! Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful day.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Dancemom, thank you. This year long book project is being done for my eight grandchildren. Throughout the year I will be adding my favorite and hope, my reader's favorites into the chapter book. I turn seventy in March. I would like to do this year over year for as long as I have time to do so.
Comment from Aaqib Naeem
I love this kind of unique and experimental poems! And you did a really good job in this one I must say! It must have been really difficult to choose which lines much repeat according to this pattern and also, to write those lines perfectly so as repetition only makes them better and not negates them! Thumbs up! :-)
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
I love this kind of unique and experimental poems! And you did a really good job in this one I must say! It must have been really difficult to choose which lines much repeat according to this pattern and also, to write those lines perfectly so as repetition only makes them better and not negates them! Thumbs up! :-)
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Aaqib, this year long book project is being done for my eight grandchildren. Throughout the year, I will be adding my favorite and hope, my reader's favorite poems and prose into the chapter book. I turn seventy in March. I would like to do this year over year for as long as I have time to do so.
-
Whoa!! Thats quite a team effort! Good on you to involve the kids as they will gain experience from this! Best wishes :-)
Comment from ImaginosBuzzardoDesdinova
I love dreaming. There is so much to see in our dreams. Anything is possible in dreams of we dare to dream them. In the end it is not our dreams that limit us but we who limit our dreams.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
I love dreaming. There is so much to see in our dreams. Anything is possible in dreams of we dare to dream them. In the end it is not our dreams that limit us but we who limit our dreams.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Imaginos, I have attended in the summers a week-long dream conference and actually participate in dream work groups. Dreams often are messages leading us to explore our health, mind and soul.
Comment from evilynne
Gorgeous words lure us to a dreamy state. You provide a wonderful descriptive piece of poetry. The picture is fantastic. Evi
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
Gorgeous words lure us to a dreamy state. You provide a wonderful descriptive piece of poetry. The picture is fantastic. Evi
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Evi, Thank you for the six-star review. This year-long book project is being done for my eight grandchildren. Throughout the year I will be adding my favorite and hope, my reader's favorites into the chapter book. I turn seventy in March. I would like to do this year over year for as long as I have time to do so, to leave a part of who I am and how I thought about life, in words, in their memories.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello JLR
Your first Triolet I say you did well.
I like how you bring the marvels of the stars.
Dreams unfold casting nets at distant stars
grasping glittering hopes to fill our souls.
Gert
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
|
Hello JLR
Your first Triolet I say you did well.
I like how you bring the marvels of the stars.
Dreams unfold casting nets at distant stars
grasping glittering hopes to fill our souls.
Gert
Comment Written 21-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2020
-
Gert, thank you! This year-long book project is being done for my eight grandchildren. Throughout the year I will be adding my favorite and hope, my reader's favorites into the chapter book. I turn seventy in March. I would like to do this year over year for as long as I have time to do so, This year-long book project is being done for my eight grandchildren. Throughout the year I will be adding my favorite and hope, my reader's favorites into the chapter book. I turn seventy in March. I would like to do this year over year for as long as I have time to do so, to leave a part of who I am and how I thought about life, in words, in their memories.
-
You are so welcome
JLR
Gert