Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Our human condition-suffering"Musings of an old man -2020
31 total reviews
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear Author, In this Free Verse you have reiterated every sin and vice of man, but mostly, you have exposed the motive for the most grievous crime of all.
As you have so well said, greed and the need for power and control, has caused more people and institutions to perpetuate the cycle of Human Suffering than all of nature's calamities put together.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Dear Author, In this Free Verse you have reiterated every sin and vice of man, but mostly, you have exposed the motive for the most grievous crime of all.
As you have so well said, greed and the need for power and control, has caused more people and institutions to perpetuate the cycle of Human Suffering than all of nature's calamities put together.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Suzanna Ray, bless you! I am so very humbled by your six-star review an unexpected validation.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Your opening simile draws the reader in. I enjoyed reading this a loud a couple of times. I love the cadence and alliteration that becomes onomatopoetic.. You have used many figures of speech. Your metaphors are strong, You animation keeps the reader's interest. Yoiur alluisions cause the reader to pause to think why that sounds familiar. Your "run-on sentences remind me of the opening paragraph of Steinbeck's Cannery Row which is online in pdf form if you would like to see what I'm talking about.
https://archive.org/stream/in.ernet.dli.2015.207559/2015.207559.Cannery-Row_djvu.txt
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Your opening simile draws the reader in. I enjoyed reading this a loud a couple of times. I love the cadence and alliteration that becomes onomatopoetic.. You have used many figures of speech. Your metaphors are strong, You animation keeps the reader's interest. Yoiur alluisions cause the reader to pause to think why that sounds familiar. Your "run-on sentences remind me of the opening paragraph of Steinbeck's Cannery Row which is online in pdf form if you would like to see what I'm talking about.
https://archive.org/stream/in.ernet.dli.2015.207559/2015.207559.Cannery-Row_djvu.txt
Comment Written 14-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Liz, wow, you captured the nuisances that I I tended throughout this free verse, not many have that fore thought. I love Steinbeck.
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Great...thank you
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I was beginning to think that this poem was a pure tale of miserable woe, when at last I reached the last two chapters. These are very satisfactory, as they mesh Christian belief and psychology (living in the present) together, to yield hope in all its beauty.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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I was beginning to think that this poem was a pure tale of miserable woe, when at last I reached the last two chapters. These are very satisfactory, as they mesh Christian belief and psychology (living in the present) together, to yield hope in all its beauty.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Katherine thank you, the free verse uses strong metaphors, with cadence alteration throughout. Have a great day.
Comment from Boogienights
You have read my mind and voiced my words with this very powerful, well written poem. You have hit upon all that is wrong in this world, has been wrong throughout centuries, and what we need to believe in to protect ourselves. Thank you, thank you, for making us all pause and think for a minute.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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You have read my mind and voiced my words with this very powerful, well written poem. You have hit upon all that is wrong in this world, has been wrong throughout centuries, and what we need to believe in to protect ourselves. Thank you, thank you, for making us all pause and think for a minute.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Boggle night?s thank you! Words driven from the deep interior of the heart....shared freely.
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This is a thought provoking entry for the Free-style poem: human suffering writing prompt. This poem should do well in the contest. Best of luck to you!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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This is a thought provoking entry for the Free-style poem: human suffering writing prompt. This poem should do well in the contest. Best of luck to you!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Rebecca, thank you
Comment from Beverly A McBride
This poem shows the wisdom of a lifetime. There is so much to unpack here, so well stated and it pretty much sums up my assessment of the world and humankind as well. I really like that you end on a hopeful note. I believe that is the essence of our lives: we hold out a kernel of hope for grace in the end. Excellent poem.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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This poem shows the wisdom of a lifetime. There is so much to unpack here, so well stated and it pretty much sums up my assessment of the world and humankind as well. I really like that you end on a hopeful note. I believe that is the essence of our lives: we hold out a kernel of hope for grace in the end. Excellent poem.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Beverly, the one thing that keeps this crazy system created by the Divine is hope,
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So true, so true. Thanks for your reply.
Comment from Janet Foor
What an epic freestyle poem telling of human suffering today and yesterday.
I'm thankful for your last stanza that begins with "hope". I too have hope for the human race. Human suffering has been going on as you say from the time of Cain and Abel. I pray that somewhere in our lifetime, we can make things better for all mankind.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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What an epic freestyle poem telling of human suffering today and yesterday.
I'm thankful for your last stanza that begins with "hope". I too have hope for the human race. Human suffering has been going on as you say from the time of Cain and Abel. I pray that somewhere in our lifetime, we can make things better for all mankind.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2020
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Janet, I truly am in lockstep with you that we arrive at some point on our journey and be able see magnificent examples of God?s original world being lived out.
Comment from Ben Colder
Sown in corruption, raised incorruptible.
All hinges upon something spoke in the beginning.
Let us make man in our likeness and image. It will never deviate from that.
Well said in your free verse.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2020
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Sown in corruption, raised incorruptible.
All hinges upon something spoke in the beginning.
Let us make man in our likeness and image. It will never deviate from that.
Well said in your free verse.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2020
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Ben thank you yes free will certainly has its ramifications!
Comment from HarryT
A wonderful job of capturing the history of human suffering and also providing a glimmer in this trying time with a leader who has no empathy for human suffering .
Excellent opening stanza. Love,"dark inkblots throughout all recorded history!"
Good use of metaphor throughout the poem. Example: "like a moth that eats away fine silk."
Only one question that of using the word "wrongdoing" twice in the same stanza, in my humble opinion, it weakens it a bit.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2020
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A wonderful job of capturing the history of human suffering and also providing a glimmer in this trying time with a leader who has no empathy for human suffering .
Excellent opening stanza. Love,"dark inkblots throughout all recorded history!"
Good use of metaphor throughout the poem. Example: "like a moth that eats away fine silk."
Only one question that of using the word "wrongdoing" twice in the same stanza, in my humble opinion, it weakens it a bit.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2020
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Harry T first thank you for this six star validation and more I have made the appropriate change thanks to you....
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You are welcome.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
loved this poem liked the control over formal format, the rhythmic cadence, the words and images and particularly the overall tone and feel for the poem. Like the reference to gun violence
If I were writing it I would have turned it into a Buddhist direction noting that suffering is the human condition - you hinted at a Christian principle but did not over do it
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2020
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loved this poem liked the control over formal format, the rhythmic cadence, the words and images and particularly the overall tone and feel for the poem. Like the reference to gun violence
If I were writing it I would have turned it into a Buddhist direction noting that suffering is the human condition - you hinted at a Christian principle but did not over do it
Comment Written 13-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2020
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Jake thanks I study both eastern and western tracks, I am on a Spiritual Journey not a religious quest, a devote Eckhart Tolle follower. Thank you for the strong six-point validation!