Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Over the Top 1914 Eastern Front"A book of Poetry & Writing
238 total reviews
Comment from Pili Pubul
My mother was a very young child , she used to get sick hearing about that war. You brink history anew , seems nothing really has change.
With scorn and tears we greet him here
We are ready to make a stand
Fix bayonets went the battle cry
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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My mother was a very young child , she used to get sick hearing about that war. You brink history anew , seems nothing really has change.
With scorn and tears we greet him here
We are ready to make a stand
Fix bayonets went the battle cry
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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thanks for your review pili
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Welcome my friend.
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thank you
Comment from Bellringer
I gave you a high rating; but also left you with some suggestions you can mull over.
In the line,"What evil times [have] carnage choose" You may substitute 'did' for 'have'
I looked at the last line for a long time "Fix bayonets went the battle cry" For consistency, the line needed to be a little longer with a bit more punch. Here is an example:
"Now fix your bayonets!" went the battle cry.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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I gave you a high rating; but also left you with some suggestions you can mull over.
In the line,"What evil times [have] carnage choose" You may substitute 'did' for 'have'
I looked at the last line for a long time "Fix bayonets went the battle cry" For consistency, the line needed to be a little longer with a bit more punch. Here is an example:
"Now fix your bayonets!" went the battle cry.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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thank you for your comments Bell
Comment from jwlee211
I like the rhythm of this poem. I also like the message your poem conveys. Great word choice pulling the reader into the poem. Great work
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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I like the rhythm of this poem. I also like the message your poem conveys. Great word choice pulling the reader into the poem. Great work
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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thank you jw
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very good poem. It was well written, easy to read and did not seem forced. It told your story about the fighting. I did not find any spag. Good job.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Very good poem. It was well written, easy to read and did not seem forced. It told your story about the fighting. I did not find any spag. Good job.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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thank you Tex Gw
Comment from wrdtrctr
Enjoyed the poem; it was well written and quite moving. Could actually be about most any war. My only issue was the final line, it didn't seem to fit the rest. Good work.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Enjoyed the poem; it was well written and quite moving. Could actually be about most any war. My only issue was the final line, it didn't seem to fit the rest. Good work.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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thank you for reading wrdtrctr
Comment from AndyBrown
Great piece of writing. A most enjoyable read. Well written and laid out. I am glad I got the chance to read it. Keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Great piece of writing. A most enjoyable read. Well written and laid out. I am glad I got the chance to read it. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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thank you for your comments Andy GW
Comment from Eartha7
I like the poem. You made your point. I believe you should have used times have instead of times has. When you have a complete sentece, you may use periods. I like when writers write from real experiences and from the heart.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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I like the poem. You made your point. I believe you should have used times have instead of times has. When you have a complete sentece, you may use periods. I like when writers write from real experiences and from the heart.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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thank you for reading
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The war to end all wars and look where we are now. It' makes one wonder. Your poem is very well written and flows nicely. It was easy to read and to understand.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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The war to end all wars and look where we are now. It' makes one wonder. Your poem is very well written and flows nicely. It was easy to read and to understand.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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thank you Barbara i have just added a photo to it Gary