Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Genius in Love (Scene 3)"In Search of a Soul
30 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
Okay ... this is intriguing. Characters, stage props, dialogue, creative, teetering on the brink of ?farce? like a weird dream, but restrained by the playwright's skill.
For me the stage directions are so wordy that they obtrude on my enjoyment. However as I said before I have little experience in such matters.
Looking forward to the next scene
Stay safe healthy and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Okay ... this is intriguing. Characters, stage props, dialogue, creative, teetering on the brink of ?farce? like a weird dream, but restrained by the playwright's skill.
For me the stage directions are so wordy that they obtrude on my enjoyment. However as I said before I have little experience in such matters.
Looking forward to the next scene
Stay safe healthy and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Well, Julia, I'm no playwright, but do you mean the parenthetical comments during the dialogue, or the stage directions that preceded the action?
At any rate, thank you for your candor and your kindness in reading and commenting. And the lovely stars!
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I mean both Jay. But alas! It's a long time since I studied English literature. Or even delved into the Shakespeare sitting on my bookshelf!
Did you ever act? I performed in the de jure school plays but was too self conscious to be good.
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No acting here. I did some interpretive reading in College that met with some heavy praise, but I didn't follow through.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
You have me on the edge of my seat wanting to know exactly what Cornelius wrote. I have so many possiblities going through my mind. Which one is right? I can't wait to find out.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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You have me on the edge of my seat wanting to know exactly what Cornelius wrote. I have so many possiblities going through my mind. Which one is right? I can't wait to find out.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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And I can't wait to show you ... as soon as I figure it out. Everything comes together with the writing. I wish I knew the art of plotting everything out ahead of times.
Comment from royowen
I'm loving this script, I've never read, (apart from yours) a film script before, in which there's more direction in the normal stage scripts I've read, but I like it, although wouldn't the actors be under the director's guidance? I love the whole idea of Cornelius' predilection, and his "seen" only friend, Ms Queez. Well done Jay, blessings Roy
Typo : Mr. Hallow(')s hands...
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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I'm loving this script, I've never read, (apart from yours) a film script before, in which there's more direction in the normal stage scripts I've read, but I like it, although wouldn't the actors be under the director's guidance? I love the whole idea of Cornelius' predilection, and his "seen" only friend, Ms Queez. Well done Jay, blessings Roy
Typo : Mr. Hallow(')s hands...
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Roy, you have brightened my day! Thank you for being so kind and for the lovely stars.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
The story moves right along, but with restricted measures. There is a mystery as to what is revealed in his paper and how he is doing regarding Constitution Day. The writing is very good, but intentions very secret.
Ralf
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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The story moves right along, but with restricted measures. There is a mystery as to what is revealed in his paper and how he is doing regarding Constitution Day. The writing is very good, but intentions very secret.
Ralf
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Yes, I had to keep some intentions under wraps for a while, but mainly because it would lengthen the scene too much if I began developing them. Such as the principal being canned. In the next scene there will be more development.
Comment from robyn corum
Jay,
Wow. What a lot of meandering... to get to NOTHING! You are an evil scriptOR.
You give us the huge send-up. Have us on pins and needles wondering what's on the paper that everyone crying about - not to even mention the letter that started this whole chapter -- and what do we learn?
DE -stinking -NADA.
So now we must wait ( IMpatiently ) until the next installment. Talk about a cliff hanger. Rude. Rude. Rude. BUT well written. *smile* Thanks!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Jay,
Wow. What a lot of meandering... to get to NOTHING! You are an evil scriptOR.
You give us the huge send-up. Have us on pins and needles wondering what's on the paper that everyone crying about - not to even mention the letter that started this whole chapter -- and what do we learn?
DE -stinking -NADA.
So now we must wait ( IMpatiently ) until the next installment. Talk about a cliff hanger. Rude. Rude. Rude. BUT well written. *smile* Thanks!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Well ... not too well written if there is not a sense of satisfaction in your waiting. Much has to do with the length of the scene if I were to offer details of the paper.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
SSSSSStunning. Ingenious idea to have Cornelius playing in the background--brilliant portrayal of the empathic principal via his infinity head rolls and self-revelations--compelling interchange [would=>WILL!] be powerful in performance! Cheerssssss. LIZ
and allows his head to [sways=>SWAY] right and left
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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SSSSSStunning. Ingenious idea to have Cornelius playing in the background--brilliant portrayal of the empathic principal via his infinity head rolls and self-revelations--compelling interchange [would=>WILL!] be powerful in performance! Cheerssssss. LIZ
and allows his head to [sways=>SWAY] right and left
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2021
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Ahhhh, I am so pleased you enjoyed this, Liz. Some feel a trifle cheated, but it's more a problem with lengthening the scene to accommodate exposition.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an extremely complex scene. It works well, because for most of the time there are only two characters present (a useful trick that serves to focalise and center dialogue) plus the music playing to take into consideration. Additional layers are provided by information from written sources letter/folder/essay etc. ensuring a richer resource. In the final few lines, the number of characters present multiplies alarmingly and itwill be interesting to see in the next scene how this affects things.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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This is an extremely complex scene. It works well, because for most of the time there are only two characters present (a useful trick that serves to focalise and center dialogue) plus the music playing to take into consideration. Additional layers are provided by information from written sources letter/folder/essay etc. ensuring a richer resource. In the final few lines, the number of characters present multiplies alarmingly and itwill be interesting to see in the next scene how this affects things.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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I love the depth to which you pursue the subject. It makes the time I spend writing these scenes worthwhile. I am going to nominate you for the reviewing award, but I'll tell you in advance that I may not have one to award. If that's the case, I will give you that nod first of next month. I SO DO appreciate your reviews.
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you appreciate my reviews... I appreciate your writing. We're onto a winning combination. re the nomination, it's the thought that counts (provided I know about that thought). looking forward to next scene love Katherine xx
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Yes, and predictably, I got bounced when I tried to add your name. So, I have it on a pad by my computer for first of next month.
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Thank You. K xx
Comment from Leann DS
I think this is an excellent Lee written script, with great stage direction and dialogue. It is interesting, informative, develops the personalities of the characters, and is realistic. your script is especially interesting to me, as I am a special educator and love working with children like Cornelius.
if I may, I noticed a couple typos:
We get some complaints from parents, about this ... Consitution test.
-Constitution
(MR. HALLOWS exits through door, upstate ...CILILLA QUEEZ. Before taking his seat, MR. HALLOWS retrieves a chair for CORNELIUS, placing on the far side...CILILLA stands beside the now-seated CORNELIUS, her hand on his shoulder.)(MR. HALLOWS exits through door, upstate right. For the period he is gone, TOLOACHE leaves her seat and stops to study the Buddha and the painting of Jesus. She returns to her chair just as the door opens and MR. HALLOWS enters, followed by CORNELIUS, whose hand is being held, against his will, by a smiling and pert CILILLA QUEEZ. Before taking his seat, MR. HALLOWS retrieves a chair for CORNELIUS, placing on the far side of his desk, midway between himself and TOLOACHE. CILILLA stands beside the now-seated CORNELIUS, her hand on his shoulder.)
-upstage
Placing it on the far side of his desk
i'm glad I caught this at the beginning. I can never figure out how to find previous chapters for peoples books and other writings with more than one part. I hope this is helpful. Thank you for sharing, and well done! Hugs.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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I think this is an excellent Lee written script, with great stage direction and dialogue. It is interesting, informative, develops the personalities of the characters, and is realistic. your script is especially interesting to me, as I am a special educator and love working with children like Cornelius.
if I may, I noticed a couple typos:
We get some complaints from parents, about this ... Consitution test.
-Constitution
(MR. HALLOWS exits through door, upstate ...CILILLA QUEEZ. Before taking his seat, MR. HALLOWS retrieves a chair for CORNELIUS, placing on the far side...CILILLA stands beside the now-seated CORNELIUS, her hand on his shoulder.)(MR. HALLOWS exits through door, upstate right. For the period he is gone, TOLOACHE leaves her seat and stops to study the Buddha and the painting of Jesus. She returns to her chair just as the door opens and MR. HALLOWS enters, followed by CORNELIUS, whose hand is being held, against his will, by a smiling and pert CILILLA QUEEZ. Before taking his seat, MR. HALLOWS retrieves a chair for CORNELIUS, placing on the far side of his desk, midway between himself and TOLOACHE. CILILLA stands beside the now-seated CORNELIUS, her hand on his shoulder.)
-upstage
Placing it on the far side of his desk
i'm glad I caught this at the beginning. I can never figure out how to find previous chapters for peoples books and other writings with more than one part. I hope this is helpful. Thank you for sharing, and well done! Hugs.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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What a dear you are, Leann, for so diligently finding and pointing out my SPAGs. I still don't know how I made upstage into upstate. How odd. And the misspelling of "constitution." You are very much appreciated. I'll tell you right now, I'm going to recommend the reviewer award for you, but I know I'm near the end of my choices. If that happens, I assure you I will nominate you for the first of next month.
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Awwww! Thank you for saying that. I am always nervous to tell people if I find typos. I don't want to offend anyone, but I would want to know if it were me. Auto correct messes lots of stuff up, so that's probably what happened with upstate/upstage. :-)
Glad to help. Hugs.
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Since upstate is an actual word, spell-check (or in my case Grammarly) wouldn't catch it. That's why I have you on retainer. LOL, thanks!
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🤣❤️
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've done a remarkable job with this chapter, Jay. I love the way the music interrupts Mr. Hallows' attention, and it's given us some incite into his sympathy for Cornelius. You're building a fascinating story, that I want to follow.
Sorry I've already used all of my sixes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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You've done a remarkable job with this chapter, Jay. I love the way the music interrupts Mr. Hallows' attention, and it's given us some incite into his sympathy for Cornelius. You're building a fascinating story, that I want to follow.
Sorry I've already used all of my sixes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Judy, when you applaud my work the way you did, a six isn't necessary. I'm the world's worst at giving them all out before the weekend's over. Just keep- following my writing and I will consider myself rewarded amply!
Comment from Mastery
Hi Jay, Sorry I missed the last part, my friend. I will judge the writing on it's stand alone merits if you don't mind. Either way, I know it is great material coming from you, my friend.
Wow! to this part for sure, Jay:
"Yes. The letter. Mrs. Plumb ... But you must see that ... Cornelius's genius is imprisoned within such a thundercloud. You and Mr. Plumb are as though sitting on your front steps in wonder, in fear, and in awe of the energy entrapped there ... Oh, my but you are courageous and, yes, a little insane for allowing yourself to be exposed to nature's elements."
"MR. HALLOWS:
(Small smile flickering.)
The kids call me Hal."
Oh, Oh. something tells me Mrs. Plumb has hot pants. LOL
Good writing as well as great organization, of course Jay. Original stuff for sure. Bob
Suggestions: Minor but "his head slightly canted, a small smile on his lips. (perhaps a "faint" smile on his lips)
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Hi Jay, Sorry I missed the last part, my friend. I will judge the writing on it's stand alone merits if you don't mind. Either way, I know it is great material coming from you, my friend.
Wow! to this part for sure, Jay:
"Yes. The letter. Mrs. Plumb ... But you must see that ... Cornelius's genius is imprisoned within such a thundercloud. You and Mr. Plumb are as though sitting on your front steps in wonder, in fear, and in awe of the energy entrapped there ... Oh, my but you are courageous and, yes, a little insane for allowing yourself to be exposed to nature's elements."
"MR. HALLOWS:
(Small smile flickering.)
The kids call me Hal."
Oh, Oh. something tells me Mrs. Plumb has hot pants. LOL
Good writing as well as great organization, of course Jay. Original stuff for sure. Bob
Suggestions: Minor but "his head slightly canted, a small smile on his lips. (perhaps a "faint" smile on his lips)
Comment Written 13-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2021
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Ah, yes, "faint smile" does so much more. The change is made. Thank you pal! And for the lovely 6!
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You deserve two sixes for this story, my friend. Take care. You are going to be in chapter 32 btw if all goes well. Bob
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I'll keep my eyes peeled, ouch!