Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 16 C"Can a broken heart be mended?
26 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, this was and interesting chapter indeed. Alexander was quick to action and to set up Any for brighter future. I really liked that. Now I waiting for what is next. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Hi Barbara, this was and interesting chapter indeed. Alexander was quick to action and to set up Any for brighter future. I really liked that. Now I waiting for what is next. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. You and your family remain in my prayers.
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Thank you so much, Barbara. I really appreciate that. A hug. Ulla:)))
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Raped. Well. if that isn't an attention-grabbing means to begin a posting. Some things noted:
-The "your horses live better than her" paragraph sets the dilemma well.
-The question about the library makes the reader wonder what grand plan she has. Turns out she wants to put Amy through college. Everyone needs assistance like that.
-email, the Modern way of communicating. Sets the timeframe of the storyline.
-"pick-up" should be pickup.
-Story displays how some women are mistreated by some men and how some men treat women properly.
-Alexandria helping Amy displays her strong character.
-"human, drugs, and weapons" should be "humans, drugs, and weapons" to keep them all plural.
-Dialogue seems realistic throughout the posting.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Raped. Well. if that isn't an attention-grabbing means to begin a posting. Some things noted:
-The "your horses live better than her" paragraph sets the dilemma well.
-The question about the library makes the reader wonder what grand plan she has. Turns out she wants to put Amy through college. Everyone needs assistance like that.
-email, the Modern way of communicating. Sets the timeframe of the storyline.
-"pick-up" should be pickup.
-Story displays how some women are mistreated by some men and how some men treat women properly.
-Alexandria helping Amy displays her strong character.
-"human, drugs, and weapons" should be "humans, drugs, and weapons" to keep them all plural.
-Dialogue seems realistic throughout the posting.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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I was wondering about the human and humans myself. I paused each time I read it. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Very nice. Your writing is never completed! But this is a solid post. Excellent use of dialogue. The story flowed well. I found it be very enjoyable even though I'm jumping in mid stream! Great job.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Very nice. Your writing is never completed! But this is a solid post. Excellent use of dialogue. The story flowed well. I found it be very enjoyable even though I'm jumping in mid stream! Great job.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review. Please drop by again.
Comment from nomi338
It looks like the rope is getting tighter and tighter around Pat's neck, wrists and ankles. Soon he should be trussed up like the pig for slaughter that he truly is. I can't wait to read of his nervous sweating as he waits for the hammer to fall. Great job of writing.
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reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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It looks like the rope is getting tighter and tighter around Pat's neck, wrists and ankles. Soon he should be trussed up like the pig for slaughter that he truly is. I can't wait to read of his nervous sweating as he waits for the hammer to fall. Great job of writing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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I hope I what I've written gives it justice. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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I have every confidence that your writing will always be the very best of its kind.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a great chapter, Barbara. Alexandra certainly is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to lawyering. Looks like knowing Cordero is helping her find her strength in all situations. Well done.
A few little spags:
"Alexandra asked the librarian about the use (of) their computers and..." - I might suggest showing this with dialogue rather than telling.
"Why aren't you bringing rape charges again(against) Rogers?"
"I'm hoping either(neither) does his lawyer."
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This is a great chapter, Barbara. Alexandra certainly is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to lawyering. Looks like knowing Cordero is helping her find her strength in all situations. Well done.
A few little spags:
"Alexandra asked the librarian about the use (of) their computers and..." - I might suggest showing this with dialogue rather than telling.
"Why aren't you bringing rape charges again(against) Rogers?"
"I'm hoping either(neither) does his lawyer."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the kind review and the catches. I appreciate the help. The reason I didn't show the first part as dialogue is it simply happened. Other than the knowledge it happened, it doesn't move the story along.
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You're most welcome, Barbara. I wasn't aware that dialogue should only be used if it moves the story along. Is this something you learned from your editors? Just wondering.
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It's just my thought. If I write everything in dialogue the novel would never end. It would become too long.
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Ah. 🤗
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
It's strange how so many states have different laws in America.
I liked the way Ali sorted out Amy, and will be getting her life back in order, that is so nice. Now to get the man responsible for all this. That will put a smile on all the girls faces. Another excellent chapter, Barbara. Well done. One little nit below! :)) Sandra xx
know that. I'm hoping (n)either does his lawyer
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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It's strange how so many states have different laws in America.
I liked the way Ali sorted out Amy, and will be getting her life back in order, that is so nice. Now to get the man responsible for all this. That will put a smile on all the girls faces. Another excellent chapter, Barbara. Well done. One little nit below! :)) Sandra xx
know that. I'm hoping (n)either does his lawyer
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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I added that sentence as I posted. LOL Thank you for the catch. I appreciate the help.
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You are most welcome! xx