Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 38 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 19 B"Can a broken heart be mended?
26 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Parents just can't help it. They still try to manage their children's lives even when they're adults. I think Ali got too upset over her mother's suggesting she and Cord stay on and see the sights of NYC. Excellent details about their visits to the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty. They got through the day without any problems, and that's a good sign. No interference from her ex-fiance. Great chapter. judi
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
  |
Parents just can't help it. They still try to manage their children's lives even when they're adults. I think Ali got too upset over her mother's suggesting she and Cord stay on and see the sights of NYC. Excellent details about their visits to the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty. They got through the day without any problems, and that's a good sign. No interference from her ex-fiance. Great chapter. judi
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for the kind review.
-
You're welcome. Maybe Alan will be waiting when they get back to Ali's apartment. judi
-
Alan isn't finished yet. We will see him again, and he's dangerous.
-
Oh, my! He may show himself when he's least expected. He's delusional if he considers Ali still his fiancee. judi
-
He'll probably turn up just when they think they're rid of him. judi
-
He does surprise them, both times
Comment from robyn corum
Barb,
I think, in general, you have a good feeling for what's important and what's not. You should always go with your gut in those kinds of conflicting situations.
1.) 1The problem I did have with this chapter, though, was primarily in
Alex's descriptions and details about the sites - the Empire State Building, for example. It sounds a lot like she's doing an impartial travel tour dialogue. (sorry!) I think you can absolutely include all that stuff but more conversationally -
--> They say you can see up to eighty miles from here!
--> Take a look -- over that way is Pennsylvania. New Jersey is over there on the North side. Connecticut is that way and Massachusetts is East. Or Delaware. I'm not surely exactly, but they're all there.
2.) Cordero took her hand and pecked it.
--> ooh. Sounds painful. *smile*
--> placed a soft kiss
3.) To be honest, it was also a little weird that Alex got so frustrated with her mother - but then they ended up doing almost exactly what she had suggested - without the Broadway show. You know?
Otherwise, this was well-done, as always. I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
 |
Barb,
I think, in general, you have a good feeling for what's important and what's not. You should always go with your gut in those kinds of conflicting situations.
1.) 1The problem I did have with this chapter, though, was primarily in
Alex's descriptions and details about the sites - the Empire State Building, for example. It sounds a lot like she's doing an impartial travel tour dialogue. (sorry!) I think you can absolutely include all that stuff but more conversationally -
--> They say you can see up to eighty miles from here!
--> Take a look -- over that way is Pennsylvania. New Jersey is over there on the North side. Connecticut is that way and Massachusetts is East. Or Delaware. I'm not surely exactly, but they're all there.
2.) Cordero took her hand and pecked it.
--> ooh. Sounds painful. *smile*
--> placed a soft kiss
3.) To be honest, it was also a little weird that Alex got so frustrated with her mother - but then they ended up doing almost exactly what she had suggested - without the Broadway show. You know?
Otherwise, this was well-done, as always. I enjoyed!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
-
I was afraid if I went into dialogue with the sights, it would make it a lot longer. At least that was my thoughts. I will reexamine it. I thought after Cord worked it out with her, things would be all right with the sight-seeing. Will check that area out too. Thank you for the help. I appreciate it, as always.
-
I'm wrong a lot! Don't spend too much time on it -esp is you don't agree. Hugs-
Comment from BethShelby
This was interesting. Cord seemed to be enjoying New York in spite of not liking the city. I don't think he liked having Ali pick up the check. He might have felt it embarassing that she thought he couldn't afford it . It is pretty apparent that her family has a lot of pull in New York.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
|
This was interesting. Cord seemed to be enjoying New York in spite of not liking the city. I don't think he liked having Ali pick up the check. He might have felt it embarassing that she thought he couldn't afford it . It is pretty apparent that her family has a lot of pull in New York.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I like the way you're moving this story along, Barbara. Too often romance stories lack true romance. The characters have no time to really get to know each other. I learned a little more about getting around to see the sights in NY City too, one place I've never been. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
|
I like the way you're moving this story along, Barbara. Too often romance stories lack true romance. The characters have no time to really get to know each other. I learned a little more about getting around to see the sights in NY City too, one place I've never been. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for sharing this review. I was told from that reviewer that my stories have no romance. I see a lot of it with the small touches and emotions.
-
I agree with you. Even that was a little slow to get started, but your more recent chapters have shown more emotion and romantic interest.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Interesting selection of sightseeing choices. I've been to the Big Apple loads of times, and never done any of those three things. The Guggenheim would always be top on my list. I love that lace. Kate xx
Note:
never been one > never been to one
how much did Mom have to do > how much did my Mom have to do
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
|
Interesting selection of sightseeing choices. I've been to the Big Apple loads of times, and never done any of those three things. The Guggenheim would always be top on my list. I love that lace. Kate xx
Note:
never been one > never been to one
how much did Mom have to do > how much did my Mom have to do
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for the catches. I figured Cord would want to do the typical touristy things, except for the escape room.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Ooops!!! Now there will be a problem, Cord isn't the type who likes to share the bills, and Ali won't isn't the type who likes to be treated like a kept woman. I've never been to America, and I know there are loads of lovely places to see, but I won't be going now, not at my age. I'm also half expecting Allan to turn up, and that would just about finish the day off!! Well done, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
|
Ooops!!! Now there will be a problem, Cord isn't the type who likes to share the bills, and Ali won't isn't the type who likes to be treated like a kept woman. I've never been to America, and I know there are loads of lovely places to see, but I won't be going now, not at my age. I'm also half expecting Allan to turn up, and that would just about finish the day off!! Well done, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
-
I can promise you will see Alan a few more times, and not in a good way. Thank you for the kind review.