Guided by Faith
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Faith Chapter 13 A"Can faith guide our path?
34 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
The story continues with the meeting with the mayor regarding Emma's art project and safety concerns on the sidewalk. Emma's nemesis Peggy is intent on disrupting Emma's plans and does her best in the meeting but is overruled and dismissed from the chamber. Emma's attractiveness to Seth steps up a gear with her new appearance and the frisson from his perspective is increasingly evident. Once again your story engages well, Barbara. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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The story continues with the meeting with the mayor regarding Emma's art project and safety concerns on the sidewalk. Emma's nemesis Peggy is intent on disrupting Emma's plans and does her best in the meeting but is overruled and dismissed from the chamber. Emma's attractiveness to Seth steps up a gear with her new appearance and the frisson from his perspective is increasingly evident. Once again your story engages well, Barbara. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
In video games there is a main plot, goal, or objective. But there can also be, side-plots, or mini-objectives. Those are okay, as long as the player doesn't forget the main goal of the game, and those mini-quests aid in completely the main goal.
Good writing and editing. It was nice your mayor character shut things down quickly, even if such a meeting would've been pointless, no matter what he said. Suggestion: Have the mayor add, "People have the right to speech and freedom of assembly, even on a public sidewalk. Why are we here?"
"Sir, I've tried. So far nothing's worked short of arresting her."
- Suggest this be shown to the reader.
I understand there's not room inside the bakery for art activities.
-Why not? Are there not tables, chairs, the floor or ground? Why not a backyard under a tent. Anywhere, they're little kids, they'll fit. No insult intended but, shouldn't these obvious little things be shown.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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In video games there is a main plot, goal, or objective. But there can also be, side-plots, or mini-objectives. Those are okay, as long as the player doesn't forget the main goal of the game, and those mini-quests aid in completely the main goal.
Good writing and editing. It was nice your mayor character shut things down quickly, even if such a meeting would've been pointless, no matter what he said. Suggestion: Have the mayor add, "People have the right to speech and freedom of assembly, even on a public sidewalk. Why are we here?"
"Sir, I've tried. So far nothing's worked short of arresting her."
- Suggest this be shown to the reader.
I understand there's not room inside the bakery for art activities.
-Why not? Are there not tables, chairs, the floor or ground? Why not a backyard under a tent. Anywhere, they're little kids, they'll fit. No insult intended but, shouldn't these obvious little things be shown.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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Thank you for the kind review. People are eating the bakery at the tables. The waitresses would be stepping over children.
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Ah, my point was, that the entire reading thing is a non-issue. The purpose is to highlight Emma's goodness, vs. Peggy's badness, and give the two women a method of conflict, that doesn't involve violence.
But, as you had the Mayor point out. None of this would be needed if Seth behaved like an adult (or all three of them really) and told Peggy, "I don't want you. Have a nice day." There would be no conflict. No triangle. (We don't even know why Peggy likes Seth. We are never shown a reason.) Which, there really isn't, as there is no relationship between any of them, as none act like adults (not a sex thing). I mean, a normal man or woman, would simply ask for a date.
And yes, I understand you want to hold off the two marrying or such until the end, but you need plausible reasons for them to be apart. (a war, a wife, sickness, a feud) Something tangible. But at this point there is none.
PS: I don't like your writing. I think you have real talent. It is not easy to write novels.
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Seth twice in previous posts has told Peggy he wasn't interested in her invitations. Yes, there is no violence with Peggy just conflict. We will find out later why Peggy is into Seth. Seth doesn't even know right now but does figure it out. Emma is not ready for a relationship, yet. Seth is worried about the age difference. He helped raise his sister, who was the same age. He's struggling with that but will come to terms with us. There is a real danger in this story, it's still developing but will happen. Just so you know, I do make enough money off my book, I have to claim them on income taxes, but am far from getting rich off them.
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Yes. I'm sure all that is coming up. I only state what we see now. And only my opinion of the story as it is shown and the world they exist in, and things that seems normal to me, which the characters do not do.
I am no holding anything against you. Just my honest review on FS.
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You have a right to my opinion. I have a few reviewers who have stated, they like the way I'm taking time to develop the relationship and are now utilizing it in their own writing. That tells me, I'm not completely wrong.
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I'm sure they do on FS. But, they are surely seniors; Seth and Emma are not.) In real life, a young woman like Emma would attract more than a single man. And Seth, would attract women long before Emma or Peggy.( raising a sister would have no effect on that, nor a few years age difference. Older men, naturally are attracted to younger women. That has been the norm for a thousand years.) Honesty, most men would have slept with Peggy. (men don't normally turn down free... you know, without a damn good reason.)
In real life, a man learns quickly, not to wait, to make a move on a pretty woman ASAP, otherwise someone else would beat you. What I'm try to explain, is most "normal" men would "need" female companionship and seek it out. A normal man, with a job, car, and home, would not spend his nights watching TV with his dog.
Nature would drive him to seek Emma out. I'm not saying you have to show Seth jumping into the sack with women or Emma. I only point out, that Seth, like most of your "Good" male characters are shown to be outside of nature. Only your "bad" males seek out the pretty women, and then only in an abusive way.
I'm not saying you can't have your young characters behave like old people. Just, it more plausible to give a solid reason, while they do it. Not a reason later on.
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Seth as also been in a previous relationship and been hurt. He's cautious. We've had a hint, more information is forth coming. I am always cautious when somebody says 'normal', I'm not sure there is such a thing as 'normal'. What is 'normal' in one situation is not 'normal' in another. I honestly believe many men choose to think with their brains and not other body parts. I give them more credit than that. Of course, there are men out there that are only after a quicky. I don't believe that's not the majority. At least that's my experience. So what is 'normal'?
Comment from Wendy G
That seems to be a satisfactory solution for most people (except Ms Barton and Ms Hilton). Peggy will certainly not catch Seth by being so aggressive and demanding. Written well.
Wendy
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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That seems to be a satisfactory solution for most people (except Ms Barton and Ms Hilton). Peggy will certainly not catch Seth by being so aggressive and demanding. Written well.
Wendy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Paul McFarland
Another very good chapter, Barb. I think we can put the reading program to bed and get on with the more interesting relationship between Seth and Emma.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Another very good chapter, Barb. I think we can put the reading program to bed and get on with the more interesting relationship between Seth and Emma.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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The reading program is pretty much put to bed. If I remember correctly, I think it comes up twice more, for very briefly. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
What an excellent chapter, with Mayor castle weighing in on the Peggy Barton issue, Seth, the chief, can't think of a reason to solve the problem, but the mayor realises he can't stop sertsin things, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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What an excellent chapter, with Mayor castle weighing in on the Peggy Barton issue, Seth, the chief, can't think of a reason to solve the problem, but the mayor realises he can't stop sertsin things, beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It is true that some personalities are difficult to deal with in life and you have created a believable story full of characters who have their own interests at heart. I enjoyed the authentic dialogue and the anxious exchanges that gave this post back bone, much enjoyed Barbara, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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It is true that some personalities are difficult to deal with in life and you have created a believable story full of characters who have their own interests at heart. I enjoyed the authentic dialogue and the anxious exchanges that gave this post back bone, much enjoyed Barbara, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for the encouraging words.
Comment from damommy
That Barton creature is going to do everything she can to sabotage Emma's attempt at her children's program. I fear she may be dangerous. It's good the mayor recognized the problem.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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That Barton creature is going to do everything she can to sabotage Emma's attempt at her children's program. I fear she may be dangerous. It's good the mayor recognized the problem.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Great stuff here, Barbara, Peggy is doing her best to put a spanner in the wheel, but it doesn't quite work out, does it? It's a great story. What's next? All best, Ullaxx
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Great stuff here, Barbara, Peggy is doing her best to put a spanner in the wheel, but it doesn't quite work out, does it? It's a great story. What's next? All best, Ullaxx
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
I don't know what Seth can do about Peggy Barton. She doesn't know how to take "no" for an answer. I hope she doesn't create any more problems for Emma. In a way, Peggy's assessment of Emma is right. She can't seem to do anything by herself. It's too bad the library hasn't had a reading program for the children. Most libraries do. I'm not in favor of closing off the street, even for the reading program. The Mayor, fortunately, is all for Emma's program. I wish she could come up with a better place to hold it. Maybe the church? It looks like Peggy is going to make trouble down the road. Being defeated over Emma's program will only make her more determined to take Emma down. Great characterization. Emma had better be thinking of plans for what she wants to do after summer, too. Great characterization. As you can see, you have me engaged in second-guessing what they're going to do. judi
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I don't know what Seth can do about Peggy Barton. She doesn't know how to take "no" for an answer. I hope she doesn't create any more problems for Emma. In a way, Peggy's assessment of Emma is right. She can't seem to do anything by herself. It's too bad the library hasn't had a reading program for the children. Most libraries do. I'm not in favor of closing off the street, even for the reading program. The Mayor, fortunately, is all for Emma's program. I wish she could come up with a better place to hold it. Maybe the church? It looks like Peggy is going to make trouble down the road. Being defeated over Emma's program will only make her more determined to take Emma down. Great characterization. Emma had better be thinking of plans for what she wants to do after summer, too. Great characterization. As you can see, you have me engaged in second-guessing what they're going to do. judi
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I like being second guessed. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Not sure about the opposition. Dealing with jealous women can be tricky. I think the mayor may be on to something. Or it looks that way. Good one, Barb.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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Not sure about the opposition. Dealing with jealous women can be tricky. I think the mayor may be on to something. Or it looks that way. Good one, Barb.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2023
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I agree with you and the mayor. We'll see what happens. Thank you for the kind review.