Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "In Flick'ring Light Bells Toll"An extended story in poem form
22 total reviews
Comment from Nicki_Mist
I haven't read the other chapters so I can not say that I totally understand but i do say that you wrote this like a pro with beautiful metaphors and imagery and it holds one from start to finish. Keep writing like this.
Nicole
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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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I haven't read the other chapters so I can not say that I totally understand but i do say that you wrote this like a pro with beautiful metaphors and imagery and it holds one from start to finish. Keep writing like this.
Nicole
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Nicole :-). What a wonderful review! I'm glad you were able to enjoy it, despite not having read previous chapters.
Mike
Comment from rama devi
Great to see you continuing this series. I wondered where the man had wandered!
The meter flows perfectly in this masterfully crafted work. Impressive presentation and super-outstanding rhyming and alliteration.
Favorite stanza-
We strode into the dawn's soft dark
with light held twixt our palms,
intentions mapping Destiny
but Fate penning our psalms.
Love the alliteration here-
Yet willing wind whipped up a wake,
our progress tracked in dust.
The world, despite our race's hate,
was welcoming of us.
The rhyming here is excellent including bells and heels as slant rhyme.
As prophecy dogged at our heels
uneasy and afraid,
we felt the toll of doleful bells
through air now tasting staid.
i did not notice any spag nits.
Perfect artwork to match and background color to enhance the tone and flavor.
Bravo.
Love, rd
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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Great to see you continuing this series. I wondered where the man had wandered!
The meter flows perfectly in this masterfully crafted work. Impressive presentation and super-outstanding rhyming and alliteration.
Favorite stanza-
We strode into the dawn's soft dark
with light held twixt our palms,
intentions mapping Destiny
but Fate penning our psalms.
Love the alliteration here-
Yet willing wind whipped up a wake,
our progress tracked in dust.
The world, despite our race's hate,
was welcoming of us.
The rhyming here is excellent including bells and heels as slant rhyme.
As prophecy dogged at our heels
uneasy and afraid,
we felt the toll of doleful bells
through air now tasting staid.
i did not notice any spag nits.
Perfect artwork to match and background color to enhance the tone and flavor.
Bravo.
Love, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2010
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Thank you, rd :-). Part of the reason I took so long with this installment is that I wrote that opening stanza, which is also my own favourite, and then felt stuck because everything I tried to follow it with seemed flat by comparison. In the end I just went with what felt right. I'm so glad you liked it!
Mike
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:-)