Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Wishing Well of Fate"An extended story in poem form
22 total reviews
Comment from It is me 59
Full of symbolism all of which I'm not sure I fully understand. It seems to however, to be painting a picture of what some people call "the afterlife" and the continuation of the struggle between good and bad.
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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Full of symbolism all of which I'm not sure I fully understand. It seems to however, to be painting a picture of what some people call "the afterlife" and the continuation of the struggle between good and bad.
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Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Thank you, Ms 59 :-). This is a tale set in a world long destroyed. You have the disadvantage of coming in late on in the story (always a problem with writing a serialised story/poem like this). That it made sense at all is wonderful to know, and I'm grateful you took the time to read and comment.
Mike
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The pleasure was mine.
Comment from rama devi
Hey dear Mike, this is suoperb as usual. Brilliant originality, vivid imagery andintesnity in the scene. Excellent rhyming and flawless flow in rhythm.
Some observations and suggestions:
*replete with greetings' violent smile; (consider dash here)
a gun trained on my face.
*our sanity their meal. (brilliant line!)
*Black bells rang out at every hour; (consider dash)
a call to prayer and arms.
* REverse syntax in these two lines makes them sound just ever so slightly forced-
and from its base the judge did crawl
"Only the Lord can save your souls,
you cannot him deny."
*her body flung to save my life
and possibilities. (brilliant line)
Love the closing ---you prayed!
Many lines in this work are remarkable, but I will stop here and simply appluad.
(clapping)
Kudos.
Love, rd
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reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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Hey dear Mike, this is suoperb as usual. Brilliant originality, vivid imagery andintesnity in the scene. Excellent rhyming and flawless flow in rhythm.
Some observations and suggestions:
*replete with greetings' violent smile; (consider dash here)
a gun trained on my face.
*our sanity their meal. (brilliant line!)
*Black bells rang out at every hour; (consider dash)
a call to prayer and arms.
* REverse syntax in these two lines makes them sound just ever so slightly forced-
and from its base the judge did crawl
"Only the Lord can save your souls,
you cannot him deny."
*her body flung to save my life
and possibilities. (brilliant line)
Love the closing ---you prayed!
Many lines in this work are remarkable, but I will stop here and simply appluad.
(clapping)
Kudos.
Love, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2010
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You're quite right to pull me up on the reverse syntax, and I fully intend to revisit them. They are a side effect of belting the last three parts of this out in one go this morning, determined to get what was in my head drawn out on the page. I'm so glad you're still enjoying it :-)))
Mike
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:-}
(that bracket means my tongue is sticking out. LOL)
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I'm glad yuou told me; it looks like a smiley face that's about to be sick ;-)
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LOl---Firs time i used that one! Will refrain in future. Thanks for telling me too! ;-)))