Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chapter 2 Part One"Can love survive small town gossip?
71 total reviews
Comment from Harrisa
It must be hard living in a small town where everyone knows everything about you. It looks like Joe might be the perfect person for Sara and Cassie, but people may try to hinder their relationship.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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It must be hard living in a small town where everyone knows everything about you. It looks like Joe might be the perfect person for Sara and Cassie, but people may try to hinder their relationship.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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Many things try to hinder the relationship. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gideon Roth
Hello Barbara. I had an opportunity to do some reading and offer some reviews today. I was happy to see that you had another submission. This was one of your best so far. No SPAG in this what so ever that I could spot. You did a great job of adding excitement and tension in the narrative and the dialogue was great. I have a real appreciation for good descriptive writing and balanced dialogue. I have taken a segment of that from this story and placed it below. Great job on this Barbara and I look forward to your next post...Tim, aka, Gideon
"You're good at asking the hard questions, aren't you?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you want to know about a mistake I made in high school, at work, or something personal?"
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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Hello Barbara. I had an opportunity to do some reading and offer some reviews today. I was happy to see that you had another submission. This was one of your best so far. No SPAG in this what so ever that I could spot. You did a great job of adding excitement and tension in the narrative and the dialogue was great. I have a real appreciation for good descriptive writing and balanced dialogue. I have taken a segment of that from this story and placed it below. Great job on this Barbara and I look forward to your next post...Tim, aka, Gideon
"You're good at asking the hard questions, aren't you?" He rubbed the back of his neck. "Do you want to know about a mistake I made in high school, at work, or something personal?"
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from SamanthaD.
I love this chapter as much as I loved the first one! I guess I missed the second so will go back & read that one. I did catch one error:
"...or before you were married?" should be "... before they were married"
Samantha
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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I love this chapter as much as I loved the first one! I guess I missed the second so will go back & read that one. I did catch one error:
"...or before you were married?" should be "... before they were married"
Samantha
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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I took care of that error. Thank you for your review.
Comment from ladybird
A nice chapter where you have shown Joe and Sara exchanging confidences. The words the woman said in the store showed very well the smallminded people who live in theire town.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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A nice chapter where you have shown Joe and Sara exchanging confidences. The words the woman said in the store showed very well the smallminded people who live in theire town.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from anabelle
You are so good at writing these love stories. I don't usually read them, but you hook me every time. Maybe it's my optimistic nature hoping to find a good ending to everything in life?
I'll look forward to seeing what happens here.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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You are so good at writing these love stories. I don't usually read them, but you hook me every time. Maybe it's my optimistic nature hoping to find a good ending to everything in life?
I'll look forward to seeing what happens here.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your review. I try to put in a plot. A lot of romances are simply get the girl in bed and get married. I try to go beyond that. I hope I succeed.
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Yes, Barbara, you definitely do.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a nice piece about this same Joe, who seems to be a playboy in this story. I 'm not yet sure whether i understand the characters well enough to draw any conclusions but future chapters will tell. However, i think that by chapter 2, the reader should have got a good hang of the plot. cheers
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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This is a nice piece about this same Joe, who seems to be a playboy in this story. I 'm not yet sure whether i understand the characters well enough to draw any conclusions but future chapters will tell. However, i think that by chapter 2, the reader should have got a good hang of the plot. cheers
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. There's still more development of the characters coming. They are both complicated.
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
This could also be a placed under the young adult genre, unless this is a story of her life.
I thought this chapter read well and that your story is coming along just fine. Error free chapter, Barbara. Good job.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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This could also be a placed under the young adult genre, unless this is a story of her life.
I thought this chapter read well and that your story is coming along just fine. Error free chapter, Barbara. Good job.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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There are some issues coming forward that would take away from the young adult, maybe....Although, they are things teens need to be careful of. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from jwlee211
I like this chapter. Very much a normal occurrence in the life of so many of us. Great descriptions you pulled me into the story. Great work
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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I like this chapter. Very much a normal occurrence in the life of so many of us. Great descriptions you pulled me into the story. Great work
Comment Written 03-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bluedragon776
This is a nice chapter. I think that I was well paced and nicely written. I did not see any mistakes or suggestions for changing anything. Good Luck with the rest of the book.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
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This is a nice chapter. I think that I was well paced and nicely written. I did not see any mistakes or suggestions for changing anything. Good Luck with the rest of the book.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from menachem
Seriously? It's that hard for people to tell the difference between names? I mean, come on!
Nice picture.
About the story: Sara's family should have just moved. Oh, well, I hope her and Joe can get past it.
I guess, we'll see.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
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Seriously? It's that hard for people to tell the difference between names? I mean, come on!
Nice picture.
About the story: Sara's family should have just moved. Oh, well, I hope her and Joe can get past it.
I guess, we'll see.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2010
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Her dad owned the hardware store. Yes I told hits because Sandy and Sara are too much alike. Hey, I took another hit in my short story because the lady's name was Laila, and in my last novel the lady's name was Leya.
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I knew that, sometimes, you have to leave things behind.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOkay, then.