Wooden Leg
what I remember38 total reviews
Comment from Judy Swanson
Hi Lee, This is a great short entry for the "I remember" contest. I love that this is written in the 4 year old child's voice - that makes it much more powerful. I feel as if I am standing next to you on the top of that stairwell, wide-eyed in disbelief and curiosity. I can feel the apron-swat swish by, close enough to hear and feel the breeze, but never close enough to sting. The "tut on her lips and the dish-water grip" also brought back some mighty fine memories - and gave me a big grin. My own grandfather lived until I was in my 20's - though his death was painful, I understood what was happening. I feel the confusion, the unknowing, the drawing inward of the 4 year old child in your piece and am saddened. Loved the ending - the spare leg hanging on the hook next to your favorite baseball caps. There is a lot of love in that line.
Well written!
Judy
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
  |
Hi Lee, This is a great short entry for the "I remember" contest. I love that this is written in the 4 year old child's voice - that makes it much more powerful. I feel as if I am standing next to you on the top of that stairwell, wide-eyed in disbelief and curiosity. I can feel the apron-swat swish by, close enough to hear and feel the breeze, but never close enough to sting. The "tut on her lips and the dish-water grip" also brought back some mighty fine memories - and gave me a big grin. My own grandfather lived until I was in my 20's - though his death was painful, I understood what was happening. I feel the confusion, the unknowing, the drawing inward of the 4 year old child in your piece and am saddened. Loved the ending - the spare leg hanging on the hook next to your favorite baseball caps. There is a lot of love in that line.
Well written!
Judy
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Oh, Judy, I feel like I have just met a friend I have been missing. Your rating is so generous, but your compassionate comprehension touches me much more deeply. Forgive me for not signing. X
-
Lee - you are so welcome. This was such a touching piece full of memory for me. Nice to know there is someone out there with similar memories. Judy
Comment from janbar
You truly remembered the thoughts and actions of a little boy. Clearly written. Good story. Very descriptive. A clear vignette. Loved the ending. Thank you for sharing. janbar
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
 |
You truly remembered the thoughts and actions of a little boy. Clearly written. Good story. Very descriptive. A clear vignette. Loved the ending. Thank you for sharing. janbar
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
And thank you, janbar. This was a soothing write. Thank you for appreciating. X
Comment from vtsfic
That is a very interesting memory. I am not sure why you broke up your sentences and didn't just write paragraphs. Your writing is smooth and tight. I see no need for editing other than to make the sentences flow into paragraphs. Wonderful story!
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
|
That is a very interesting memory. I am not sure why you broke up your sentences and didn't just write paragraphs. Your writing is smooth and tight. I see no need for editing other than to make the sentences flow into paragraphs. Wonderful story!
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Thank you. And you might be right about the paragraphs, but I was trying to think like a child. It was my intention to let the reader into my four-old-mind. It may not have worked. I'm glad you enjoyed, and I thank you for the review. X
Comment from warbler
This is a wonderful story as told by a four year old boy.
I enjoyed reading it from beginning until end. I liked the description of the boys fascination with the leg.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
|
This is a wonderful story as told by a four year old boy.
I enjoyed reading it from beginning until end. I liked the description of the boys fascination with the leg.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Thank you, warbler. This contest was a fine excuse to reconnect with my own child, and my beloved grandfather. Thank you for joining me. X
Comment from MizKat
This is a great true story for the prompt. The inquisitiveness of the young eh? It must have seemed strange to see a wooden leg hanging there. You did a great job in writing this true story. Kat
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
|
This is a great true story for the prompt. The inquisitiveness of the young eh? It must have seemed strange to see a wooden leg hanging there. You did a great job in writing this true story. Kat
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Thank you, Kat. The leg was a marvel to a four-year-old. He was a whole man with or without it. X
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. The author left me pondering how his grandfather lost his leg.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
|
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. The author left me pondering how his grandfather lost his leg.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Diabetes. Thank you, Charlie. X
-
YOu're welcome.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
What a great memory.
In todays world we would probably take that 4 year old and sink a ton of info into his head, but not being "whole" was nobody's business in days of yore.
Your grandpa sounds like a very compassionate man who when he knew he was checking out had the decency to try and comfort his little noy.
There is a bitter sweet sense of being loved o9n a simpler world.
Love the phrase "dish water grip." Ingrid
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
|
What a great memory.
In todays world we would probably take that 4 year old and sink a ton of info into his head, but not being "whole" was nobody's business in days of yore.
Your grandpa sounds like a very compassionate man who when he knew he was checking out had the decency to try and comfort his little noy.
There is a bitter sweet sense of being loved o9n a simpler world.
Love the phrase "dish water grip." Ingrid
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Ingrid--I have always liked that name, I hope I may use it---thank you for this very thoughtful review. X
Comment from N.K. Wagner
This is an elegant piece of work. The language and approach are simple, but powerful in the images they convey. The innocent dismissal of danger because the fascination with a seemingly unnecessary spare part of his grandfather is typically 4 years old. Your description of the pajama clad protagonist's last sight of his dying grandfather is perfect. His saggy pjs, chewing on his sleeve in sleepy fear and confusion, the memory of his grandfather's last, comforting, words calls tears to the reader's eye. The tag was perfect - the writer still retains a treasured part of his grandfather, his spare leg, in an unpretentious place of honor in his home - a final tribute to a little boy's love for his grandfather. Beautifully done with not a wasted word. Nancy
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
|
This is an elegant piece of work. The language and approach are simple, but powerful in the images they convey. The innocent dismissal of danger because the fascination with a seemingly unnecessary spare part of his grandfather is typically 4 years old. Your description of the pajama clad protagonist's last sight of his dying grandfather is perfect. His saggy pjs, chewing on his sleeve in sleepy fear and confusion, the memory of his grandfather's last, comforting, words calls tears to the reader's eye. The tag was perfect - the writer still retains a treasured part of his grandfather, his spare leg, in an unpretentious place of honor in his home - a final tribute to a little boy's love for his grandfather. Beautifully done with not a wasted word. Nancy
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Thank you, Nancy. Your review touches me deeply. X
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is creative and interesting, on a fresh and unusual subject. You tell the story skillfully, with a ring of truth I've come to recognize and that was confirmed in your notes about the word count:"Everyone of them the truth." Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
|
This is creative and interesting, on a fresh and unusual subject. You tell the story skillfully, with a ring of truth I've come to recognize and that was confirmed in your notes about the word count:"Everyone of them the truth." Good luck to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Thank you so much. X
Comment from Bellringer
Lee, although this is a "blind" prompt, I received your entry in my messages. That being said, All I can say about your work is: WOW! Absolutely riveting little piece with a heart. Besides the wistful recollection, there are some great descriptions you throw into the mix: Pinocchio leg, dish-water grip, my head swiveled back to irresistible lure.... Regards, Hector
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
|
Lee, although this is a "blind" prompt, I received your entry in my messages. That being said, All I can say about your work is: WOW! Absolutely riveting little piece with a heart. Besides the wistful recollection, there are some great descriptions you throw into the mix: Pinocchio leg, dish-water grip, my head swiveled back to irresistible lure.... Regards, Hector
Comment Written 07-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2011
-
Thank you, Hector. Your review touches me deeply. There was some kind of snafu with my entry, but I must pretend to be blind now. Thank you so much. X