Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Part one, Chapter 8"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
92 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
barbara:
Another wonderful chapter. It is so important to
showcase a woman who is being successful in her
desire to get away from her abuser and does not have
to cheaper herself further to do so.
I look forward to your next chapter.
love,
jan
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2011
  |
barbara:
Another wonderful chapter. It is so important to
showcase a woman who is being successful in her
desire to get away from her abuser and does not have
to cheaper herself further to do so.
I look forward to your next chapter.
love,
jan
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Anna with the help of Troy and other people is learning to become ore confident in her abilities. It is a long and painful process. I like the story that Troy told her about the Indian maiden.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
 |
Anna with the help of Troy and other people is learning to become ore confident in her abilities. It is a long and painful process. I like the story that Troy told her about the Indian maiden.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Deejharrington
I've been so behind on my reading and reviewing, I've missed a lot. I hope as I go, I will catch up on what happened and how Anna and Michael arrived at this home. The story is going well. I see she is getting back her self confidence. Going very well.
deb
enjoy your vacation!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
|
I've been so behind on my reading and reviewing, I've missed a lot. I hope as I go, I will catch up on what happened and how Anna and Michael arrived at this home. The story is going well. I see she is getting back her self confidence. Going very well.
deb
enjoy your vacation!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review and well wishes.
-
You're welcome
deb
Comment from SWANNY
Good chapter.
The only suggestion I have is with the following sentence:
"Growing up I helped Mom with her flower garden, she would tell me each flower's story."
To me this seems like two thoughts and so I would suggest either replacing the comma with the word 'and', or maybe make it two sentences. Or maybe reword it slightly to something like this:
When I was growing up, I would help Mom with her flower garden and she would tell me each flower's story.
Anyhow, just something to think about.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
|
Good chapter.
The only suggestion I have is with the following sentence:
"Growing up I helped Mom with her flower garden, she would tell me each flower's story."
To me this seems like two thoughts and so I would suggest either replacing the comma with the word 'and', or maybe make it two sentences. Or maybe reword it slightly to something like this:
When I was growing up, I would help Mom with her flower garden and she would tell me each flower's story.
Anyhow, just something to think about.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
I will look at that sentence. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
She begins to open up. I loved the story of the 'blanket flower'. I have never heard that before. I planted some of them this year in one of my beds. This story is going great,I hope this is not the end. Have a wonderful time with your family. I would miss my grandbabies terribly.Very good chapter.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
|
She begins to open up. I loved the story of the 'blanket flower'. I have never heard that before. I planted some of them this year in one of my beds. This story is going great,I hope this is not the end. Have a wonderful time with your family. I would miss my grandbabies terribly.Very good chapter.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
The first legend is a true legend the second one was made up. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gideon Roth
Hello and good morning, Barbara. You did a fabulous job on this addition to the story. Glad to learn Anna is doing well. I could not find one flaw in this great addition to your manuscript. If I had six stars you would get it for this one. Keep up the great writing...Tim
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
|
Hello and good morning, Barbara. You did a fabulous job on this addition to the story. Glad to learn Anna is doing well. I could not find one flaw in this great addition to your manuscript. If I had six stars you would get it for this one. Keep up the great writing...Tim
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review. A virtual six is just as good. Thank you.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
WHAT A WONDERFUL CHAPTER, WITH GOOD NEWS! THE ART WORK IS SO BEAUTIFUL, YOUR HUSBAND DESERVE A SIX RATING! AND THIS CHAPTER TOO. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE A GOING ON VACATIONS! THANKS FOR LET US KNOW ABOUT IT.
A VERY ENJOYABLE READING, AS ALWAYS! GOD BLESS YOU!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
|
WHAT A WONDERFUL CHAPTER, WITH GOOD NEWS! THE ART WORK IS SO BEAUTIFUL, YOUR HUSBAND DESERVE A SIX RATING! AND THIS CHAPTER TOO. I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE A GOING ON VACATIONS! THANKS FOR LET US KNOW ABOUT IT.
A VERY ENJOYABLE READING, AS ALWAYS! GOD BLESS YOU!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review. If you would like to view more of his work his site is brwartwork.com
Comment from Helen Tan
A well deserved bit of peace for Anna after all the trauma she's been through. This will all change I'm sure once Bobby is released from jail.
Enjoy your break and stay well. =D
"I bet she looked a lot like you." After Anna blushed, he continued, "This beautiful maiden was
Written in this format, it seems as if Troy was waiting for Anna to blush before he continued. Consider this presentation.
.."I bet she looked a lot like you."
( new paragraph ) Anna blushed.
(new paragraph) "This beautiful maiden..."
Can I really make decisions and take care of my son and myself?
This is Anna's thoughts. I think she would use "Michael" instead of "my son".
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
|
A well deserved bit of peace for Anna after all the trauma she's been through. This will all change I'm sure once Bobby is released from jail.
Enjoy your break and stay well. =D
"I bet she looked a lot like you." After Anna blushed, he continued, "This beautiful maiden was
Written in this format, it seems as if Troy was waiting for Anna to blush before he continued. Consider this presentation.
.."I bet she looked a lot like you."
( new paragraph ) Anna blushed.
(new paragraph) "This beautiful maiden..."
Can I really make decisions and take care of my son and myself?
This is Anna's thoughts. I think she would use "Michael" instead of "my son".
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. I have made those corrections.
Comment from nora arjuna
Hi barb, hope you're enjoying your trip. Nothing much to crit on this chapter. Just check these:
"Anytime you need something[,] call. I'm serious."
"Thank you." She bent [down], picked a flower, - we only bend down. So the word's not needed.
Troy shrugged [his shoulders]. - same here. :)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
|
Hi barb, hope you're enjoying your trip. Nothing much to crit on this chapter. Just check these:
"Anytime you need something[,] call. I'm serious."
"Thank you." She bent [down], picked a flower, - we only bend down. So the word's not needed.
Troy shrugged [his shoulders]. - same here. :)
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your eagle eye. I have made the corrections.
Comment from Katchoo_Ledeux
I wish I'd been following this story, it seems interesting and this chapter is really good! I have only one suggestion for you, check it out and see what you think:
"Anytime you need something(,) call.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
|
I wish I'd been following this story, it seems interesting and this chapter is really good! I have only one suggestion for you, check it out and see what you think:
"Anytime you need something(,) call.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. I have made that correction.