Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 60 "part three, Chapter 18"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
75 total reviews
Comment from barkingdog
I wasn't confusing. I did understand that he is an abusive ex husband out on parole and he is paranoid that Anna may have been with another man. He probably just likes beating her up for the fun of it and doesn't need an excuse.
Your dialogue is excellent and your characters shine.
Easy to read. Clear flowing sentences.
What a creep! I felt so sorry for her.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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I wasn't confusing. I did understand that he is an abusive ex husband out on parole and he is paranoid that Anna may have been with another man. He probably just likes beating her up for the fun of it and doesn't need an excuse.
Your dialogue is excellent and your characters shine.
Easy to read. Clear flowing sentences.
What a creep! I felt so sorry for her.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're welcome, barbara.:)BD
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Well written, Barbara. Sad fact that if someone isn't concerned with the consequences, it's pretty much impossible to protect yourself from them. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Well written, Barbara. Sad fact that if someone isn't concerned with the consequences, it's pretty much impossible to protect yourself from them. :) Nancy
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JennyMoffat
As someone who has experimented with abusive relationships in a recent writing project, i can appreciate your descriptions of the abuse. it can prove quite challenging and many times sounds very choppy and often stupid. you really get the sense that this bobby character is a loose cannon.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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As someone who has experimented with abusive relationships in a recent writing project, i can appreciate your descriptions of the abuse. it can prove quite challenging and many times sounds very choppy and often stupid. you really get the sense that this bobby character is a loose cannon.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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I am not sure why I received four stars. You gave me a five star review. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nora arjuna
Hi barb, oh what a terrifyingly physical chapter. How could she still able to talk after all the blows? It's scary.
Didn't find any problem here, just to mention on this part:
Anna passed out from the blows. Bobby threw the broken frame and canvas out the glass sliding door.
I thought we're in anna's POV. She's already passed out, so she can't know what Bobby does with the painting. You can let us know later when she comes by and see what happens to the frame.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Hi barb, oh what a terrifyingly physical chapter. How could she still able to talk after all the blows? It's scary.
Didn't find any problem here, just to mention on this part:
Anna passed out from the blows. Bobby threw the broken frame and canvas out the glass sliding door.
I thought we're in anna's POV. She's already passed out, so she can't know what Bobby does with the painting. You can let us know later when she comes by and see what happens to the frame.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review. Very true, I hadn't thought about that.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
This is a very dramatic chapter, how ever, you don't have to be sorry for anything you write. This is what explain, what is going on in every aspect so we may fully understand the abuse.
Great job Barbara!!
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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This is a very dramatic chapter, how ever, you don't have to be sorry for anything you write. This is what explain, what is going on in every aspect so we may fully understand the abuse.
Great job Barbara!!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I wish I had a six to give you. You have made this chapter very intense and I could see the picture of Anna with that crazy husband of hers. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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I wish I had a six to give you. You have made this chapter very intense and I could see the picture of Anna with that crazy husband of hers. Great job.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Bobby is psycho! What an ugly creature. No wonder Anna wanted to be rid of him. We can only hope someone sane can come to her aid.
Excellent!
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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Bobby is psycho! What an ugly creature. No wonder Anna wanted to be rid of him. We can only hope someone sane can come to her aid.
Excellent!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Wow, this is an intense chapter. I think you've captured the violence very well. It's very real and powerful, and unfortunately, happens all over the world every day. What a coward Bobby is. That part with the painting really brought it home. You punched this one out there, Barbara, if you'll pardon the pun. You didn't even skimp on the harsh dialogue - you've kept it real. Makes a huge difference to the authenticity of your story.
Good work
Hugs, Av
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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Wow, this is an intense chapter. I think you've captured the violence very well. It's very real and powerful, and unfortunately, happens all over the world every day. What a coward Bobby is. That part with the painting really brought it home. You punched this one out there, Barbara, if you'll pardon the pun. You didn't even skimp on the harsh dialogue - you've kept it real. Makes a huge difference to the authenticity of your story.
Good work
Hugs, Av
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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Thank you of your kind review and insight.
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
So Bobby is out and up to his old tricks. I see prison did nothing to help him rehabilitate! One small thing bothered me
[You and your damn kid would starve without my paycheck."] - if he's been in prison would he earn enough to pay child support?
Great ending- poor Anna's not even married to him any more yet she still can't shake free. This is so true with a lot of abusive men. They spend their time in prison festering and when they get out they return straight to the scene of their crime.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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So Bobby is out and up to his old tricks. I see prison did nothing to help him rehabilitate! One small thing bothered me
[You and your damn kid would starve without my paycheck."] - if he's been in prison would he earn enough to pay child support?
Great ending- poor Anna's not even married to him any more yet she still can't shake free. This is so true with a lot of abusive men. They spend their time in prison festering and when they get out they return straight to the scene of their crime.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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At the beginning of the book Bobby complained about Anna actually wasting money. She made more money than he does.
Comment from bookishfabler
I hope the six works and I have enough left . This very fast paced and disturbing at the same time. I saw. Or hong to edit. Pardon my spelling this on my iPhone. I. can't wait for the next chapter
Hugs
Heidi
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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I hope the six works and I have enough left . This very fast paced and disturbing at the same time. I saw. Or hong to edit. Pardon my spelling this on my iPhone. I. can't wait for the next chapter
Hugs
Heidi
Comment Written 02-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2012
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
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you're welcome