Comment from LadyTreana

Excellent

I haven't gotten to read from the beginning, but I am enjoying this story and have somewhat put pieces together. It is very good and has kept my interest. Looking forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2012

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from jhp124gr

Excellent

Very well crafted, I really liked it.The dialogue and interaction between the characters was inline with the previous chapter. I do not see any issues, Anna will soon find out soon i hope.

Good job on putting this together.
Bravo

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2012

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Grammies

Excellent

Liked this story and it held my interest all the way through.
No errors noted or changes recommended. Story flows well and this chapter keeps the reader in suspense.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2012

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from rtobaygo

Excellent

EXCELLENT DIALOGUE AND INTERACTION BETWEEN CHARACTERS. EXCELLENT BUILD-UP OF TENSION AND ANXIETY IN YOUR MAIN PROTAGONIST, WITH AND ENDING LEAVING THE READER WAITING TO DISCOVER WHAT WAS GOING TO OCCUR NEXT. WELL DONE!

TAKE CARE,

RAY

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2012

THANK YOU FOR THE KIND REVIEW AND SUPPORT.

Comment from Allison78

Excellent

This is very well written chapter and very much kept my attention. You have set up for Anna finding out what happened to her really well. Great job!

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2012

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Exceptional

Poor Anna - will she never have peace of mind..
it's obvious, besides her visible wounds, she
has much deeper ones, not visible to the eye.

her get inside the car. - might I suggest... her get into the car.

"Are you doing all right?" Paul turned from the driver's seat.- might I suggest, you start with Paul turned.. then the question.

All in all, a really well-presented chapter, and deserving of a six.

Margaret

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 16-Jun-2012

Thank you for catching those. I was in Corpus Christi TX for a few days and needed to wait until I got back to make the corrections.

Comment from Torrence Winter

Good

I'm on the fence with this piece. Your characters seem superficial, with not personality traits that truly set them apart. You appear to be telling me the story instead of allowing me to experience it for myself. I'm lost in the realm of these characters, trying to piece together their connections and their separations. Your plot is strong in the sense that it holds originality. Over all, I think you should try reworking this piece from a different angle.

 Comment Written 12-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2012

I think if you had read the previous 300 pages or 20 chapters your questions may be answered. Thank you.

Comment from WilliamDeen

Excellent

Good work, Barbara. Moves the story along well. Well penned and no spags seen. Didn't notice anything I would suggest to change either. Keep Reading & Writing.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2012

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

"Why are we going there(?)"

Very interesting chapter, filled with lots of drama and curious images. I think you did a great job with it.

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2012

Thank you for the kind review. I will fix that question mark. I had changed that sentence and still got it wrong.

Comment from Auroraboreal800

Excellent

So, Anna is still with no memories about her dramatic and sad experience? Hummm, this is very scary. I think the dialogue are great!
I hope you have a nice vacation in the beautiful Corpus Christi Barbara!
:)

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 11-Jun-2012

Thank you for the kind review.