The Gobbledegooks
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Gobbledegooky Fandangle Parade"Children's Fantasy Poems
46 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I just loved this light-hearted,
fun poem - such a treat -- great
descriptive piece, firing the
imagination - the words, rhythm
and rhyme flowing perfectly.
Thanks for making me smile, Steve. Here's my last six - so well deserved.
Good luck with the contest.
Margaret
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
I just loved this light-hearted,
fun poem - such a treat -- great
descriptive piece, firing the
imagination - the words, rhythm
and rhyme flowing perfectly.
Thanks for making me smile, Steve. Here's my last six - so well deserved.
Good luck with the contest.
Margaret
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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Margaret, thanks so much for parting with that final sixer - much appreciated.
Steve
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is amazing! What a lovely fun quatrain poem you have given us to read. I just love the names of the characters. It really sounded like the parade was in town.
One little thing you need to look at, in the 5th stanza, you have written, 'gobbledooky' and not 'gobbledegooky'. Wish I had a 6 for you, this is brilliant. Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
This is amazing! What a lovely fun quatrain poem you have given us to read. I just love the names of the characters. It really sounded like the parade was in town.
One little thing you need to look at, in the 5th stanza, you have written, 'gobbledooky' and not 'gobbledegooky'. Wish I had a 6 for you, this is brilliant. Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Sandra - glad you enjoyed.
I think you are the only reviewer to spot that small error - fixed now!
Steve
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I think that is because I use that word a lot, especially when I don't understand some people. LOL.xx
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Steve - A great story that children in particular will love. I like the idea of a 'Feast of Fandangle' - good use of alliteration which runs throughout this good poem. 'midsummer magic' blue bunting' 'markets, minstrels and music' and' twinkling trapeze' and so many more. More like a contest to see how much alliteration could be put into one poem so successfully. Good aabb rhyming quatrains telling a really great story. Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
Hi Steve - A great story that children in particular will love. I like the idea of a 'Feast of Fandangle' - good use of alliteration which runs throughout this good poem. 'midsummer magic' blue bunting' 'markets, minstrels and music' and' twinkling trapeze' and so many more. More like a contest to see how much alliteration could be put into one poem so successfully. Good aabb rhyming quatrains telling a really great story. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Dorothy.
Yes, I certainly throw a bucketful of alliteration into these pieces!
Steve
Comment from amahra
Great art work chosen for this. I thought the poem was a fun read. Great rhyming and steady rhythm flow. You seem to have had fun writing this.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
Great art work chosen for this. I thought the poem was a fun read. Great rhyming and steady rhythm flow. You seem to have had fun writing this.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
What a perfect title :-) I haven't read the poem yet and I'm smiling.
feast of fandangle - wonderful alliteration
solid rhyming couplets
wonderful descriptive detail throughout
rustle, ripple, rumble - wonderful assonance and alliteration combined
a delightful tale in poetic form, my friend - well worth six stars :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
What a perfect title :-) I haven't read the poem yet and I'm smiling.
feast of fandangle - wonderful alliteration
solid rhyming couplets
wonderful descriptive detail throughout
rustle, ripple, rumble - wonderful assonance and alliteration combined
a delightful tale in poetic form, my friend - well worth six stars :-) Brooke
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014
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Brooke, thanks for the great review and the six stars.
Thes are great fun to write and I have a picture in my head of what this would look like as a children's picture book - I just need a brilliant and quirky illustrator!
Steve
Comment from mfowler
You like to break out into these rollicking children's verses from time to time. It must be light relief after forging a love sonnet or two. These allow your imagination to run riot and create a scene of joyous confusion as you mix many a creative character into a scene such as this parade and fill our minds with tantalising details. This is no exception bringing the 'Gobbledegooks Fandangle Parade' alive. Your verse work is great and I really love the alliterative passages that make a line or two roll smoothly from the lips: bedecked with blue bunting. Good luck with this very enjoyable poem.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
You like to break out into these rollicking children's verses from time to time. It must be light relief after forging a love sonnet or two. These allow your imagination to run riot and create a scene of joyous confusion as you mix many a creative character into a scene such as this parade and fill our minds with tantalising details. This is no exception bringing the 'Gobbledegooks Fandangle Parade' alive. Your verse work is great and I really love the alliterative passages that make a line or two roll smoothly from the lips: bedecked with blue bunting. Good luck with this very enjoyable poem.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Mark.
You are right - these are great light relief after more serious stuff and I think maybe I'm really better at this kind of verse anyway!
Steve
Comment from Eric1
Hi Steve, loved this children's poem entry for the Quatrain competition, your poem bounces along, it has excellent alliteration and rhyming with a really good rhythm, I feel that children will enjoy the ambiance of it, good luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
Hi Steve, loved this children's poem entry for the Quatrain competition, your poem bounces along, it has excellent alliteration and rhyming with a really good rhythm, I feel that children will enjoy the ambiance of it, good luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Eric - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
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I really did Steve.
Comment from Jackarrie
A very enjoyable read it is written so well with great creative imagination, It would be a great one for a children book, maybe this is your intention.
Well done. well written Mary
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
A very enjoyable read it is written so well with great creative imagination, It would be a great one for a children book, maybe this is your intention.
Well done. well written Mary
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Mary - yes, I have three Gobbledegook poems now - ea ch of them would make a great children's book - I just need to find a really creative illustrator...
Steve
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Me too xxx
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Steve. Hahahahaha! I see your sense of humor is still there mate. It's good to be back on fs to read your witty ditties once again. I have missed you and them. Well done on this one, is it going to be a series? I think it should.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
G'day Steve. Hahahahaha! I see your sense of humor is still there mate. It's good to be back on fs to read your witty ditties once again. I have missed you and them. Well done on this one, is it going to be a series? I think it should.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 04-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Fez - good to see you back.
There are three Gobbledegook poems now - I can see them as lovely kids' picture books - sadly I don't draw!
Steve
Comment from Dawn Munro
I reviewed this adorable poem once already but the system ate the review. I commented on Yankee Doodle and how I'm sure kids will love it, and it must say something about me,'cause I do too (at 62) LOL
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
I reviewed this adorable poem once already but the system ate the review. I commented on Yankee Doodle and how I'm sure kids will love it, and it must say something about me,'cause I do too (at 62) LOL
Comment Written 03-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014
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Thanks, Dawn - hadn't really thought of yankee Doodle when I came up with the macaroni/pony rhyme - I guess it's a fairly obvious one....
Steve
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LOL. Only my brain would come up with that one (silliness). *grin*