Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Exceptional

I just loved this light-hearted,
fun poem - such a treat -- great
descriptive piece, firing the
imagination - the words, rhythm
and rhyme flowing perfectly.

Thanks for making me smile, Steve. Here's my last six - so well deserved.
Good luck with the contest.

Margaret

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014

Margaret, thanks so much for parting with that final sixer - much appreciated.

Steve

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

This is amazing! What a lovely fun quatrain poem you have given us to read. I just love the names of the characters. It really sounded like the parade was in town.
One little thing you need to look at, in the 5th stanza, you have written, 'gobbledooky' and not 'gobbledegooky'. Wish I had a 6 for you, this is brilliant. Good luck in the contest. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014

Thanks, Sandra - glad you enjoyed.

I think you are the only reviewer to spot that small error - fixed now!

Steve

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 05-Dec-2014

I think that is because I use that word a lot, especially when I don't understand some people. LOL.xx

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hi Steve - A great story that children in particular will love. I like the idea of a 'Feast of Fandangle' - good use of alliteration which runs throughout this good poem. 'midsummer magic' blue bunting' 'markets, minstrels and music' and' twinkling trapeze' and so many more. More like a contest to see how much alliteration could be put into one poem so successfully. Good aabb rhyming quatrains telling a really great story. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014

Thanks, Dorothy.

Yes, I certainly throw a bucketful of alliteration into these pieces!

Steve

Comment from amahra

Excellent

Great art work chosen for this. I thought the poem was a fun read. Great rhyming and steady rhythm flow. You seem to have had fun writing this.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from adewpearl

Exceptional

What a perfect title :-) I haven't read the poem yet and I'm smiling.
feast of fandangle - wonderful alliteration
solid rhyming couplets
wonderful descriptive detail throughout
rustle, ripple, rumble - wonderful assonance and alliteration combined
a delightful tale in poetic form, my friend - well worth six stars :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Dec-2014

Brooke, thanks for the great review and the six stars.

Thes are great fun to write and I have a picture in my head of what this would look like as a children's picture book - I just need a brilliant and quirky illustrator!

Steve

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

You like to break out into these rollicking children's verses from time to time. It must be light relief after forging a love sonnet or two. These allow your imagination to run riot and create a scene of joyous confusion as you mix many a creative character into a scene such as this parade and fill our minds with tantalising details. This is no exception bringing the 'Gobbledegooks Fandangle Parade' alive. Your verse work is great and I really love the alliterative passages that make a line or two roll smoothly from the lips: bedecked with blue bunting. Good luck with this very enjoyable poem.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014

Thanks, Mark.

You are right - these are great light relief after more serious stuff and I think maybe I'm really better at this kind of verse anyway!

Steve

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Steve, loved this children's poem entry for the Quatrain competition, your poem bounces along, it has excellent alliteration and rhyming with a really good rhythm, I feel that children will enjoy the ambiance of it, good luck in the contest my friend.

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014

Thanks, Eric - glad you enjoyed.

Steve

reply by Eric1 on 04-Dec-2014

I really did Steve.

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

A very enjoyable read it is written so well with great creative imagination, It would be a great one for a children book, maybe this is your intention.

Well done. well written Mary

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014

Thanks, Mary - yes, I have three Gobbledegook poems now - ea ch of them would make a great children's book - I just need to find a really creative illustrator...

Steve

reply by Jackarrie on 04-Dec-2014

Me too xxx

Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Steve. Hahahahaha! I see your sense of humor is still there mate. It's good to be back on fs to read your witty ditties once again. I have missed you and them. Well done on this one, is it going to be a series? I think it should.
Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 04-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014

Thanks, Fez - good to see you back.

There are three Gobbledegook poems now - I can see them as lovely kids' picture books - sadly I don't draw!

Steve

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

I reviewed this adorable poem once already but the system ate the review. I commented on Yankee Doodle and how I'm sure kids will love it, and it must say something about me,'cause I do too (at 62) LOL

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Dec-2014

Thanks, Dawn - hadn't really thought of yankee Doodle when I came up with the macaroni/pony rhyme - I guess it's a fairly obvious one....

Steve

reply by Dawn Munro on 04-Dec-2014

LOL. Only my brain would come up with that one (silliness). *grin*