Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

This is an effective use of alliteration to create a musical sounding quote. Women do not like whining men, too. Thank you for sharing your creative response to a writing prompt.

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 Comment Written 26-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015

Many thanks for the great response, Andre. I really appreciate it.

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Second review

:-))))



First review (FOUR stars)

Wonderfully witty! Love the cleverness and the alliteration. I have one doubt, though, in that the directives say they must either be alliterated or the same sound as the first LETTER of the first word, not the first SOUND of the first word. You have the word MEN which certainly rhymes with WHEN but it is not in alignment with this contest's specific directives.

Love the satirical wit in this, nonetheless. not sure how to remedy this issue.

If you figure out a fix, or if I am interpreting the contest incorrectly, please let me know, as I'd love to upgrade the rating. This is an entry I'd want to vote for!

Thanks for the chuckles.

When women whine, world-weary men wince.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Warmly, rd

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 Comment Written 26-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 26-Nov-2015

Many thanks for this Rama, I overlooked this bit. I have simply cheated by hyphenating in an extra beginning with 'w' before men. It now reads "When women whine, world-weary wise-men wince". It's not ideal but I have seen this used by numerous other writers in a variety of contests so we'll see!

All the best
G

reply by rama devi on 26-Nov-2015

Ah yes--that's a good fix. I think this should prove a strong contender! Upgrading now! Warmly, rd