Once upon the heart..
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Gentle Whispers.."Love poems
32 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hello, Susan. Long time, no see.
Your lovely Kyrielle poem is structured so that all the lines have eight syllables and each stanza of four lines ends in a refrain. It takes on a rhythmical form, very much like a rhyming couplet.
Your poem is made up of 4 lined stanzas, also of eight syllables each. The capital being the refrain:
aabB
ccbB
ddbB
eebB
Not only does it seem to be a perfectly composed Kyrielle, it's a touchingly tender poetic proclamation portraying pure passion and love.
Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
  |
Hello, Susan. Long time, no see.
Your lovely Kyrielle poem is structured so that all the lines have eight syllables and each stanza of four lines ends in a refrain. It takes on a rhythmical form, very much like a rhyming couplet.
Your poem is made up of 4 lined stanzas, also of eight syllables each. The capital being the refrain:
aabB
ccbB
ddbB
eebB
Not only does it seem to be a perfectly composed Kyrielle, it's a touchingly tender poetic proclamation portraying pure passion and love.
Well done.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
-
Hi Deano!!! Am i finally getting better???? thanks for another awesome review!! and yes,...been kinda quite. trying to really learn the different forms and focus more ( which is very challenging for me)...This poem is very special to me...I reading all your stuff, sorry not reviewing as much...lillly attends school at home (online)..now..and work etc...just been busy!! But I do appreciate you reading this poem...and truly appreciate you!!!!!!! hows gidget???
-
You're very welcome, Susan. Glad to hear you don't hate me or my work, lol. I'd seen where you reviewed others; Joan E. and royowen today, and at thirty yesterday alone, including William Ross' creepy poem about clowns. I thought perhaps I'd done or said something to upset or offend you.
Gidget an' 'dem are doin' just fine, thanks for askin'
Take care. Happy reading & writing.
-
DEANO!!! you know you be pretty close to perfect in my eyes!!!...just for your work...I need to be on my A game..so you know JUST how much I enjoy your work!!!Don't ever think otherwise!!! MY BAD! I need to be a better FS friend!!! I'll go back to bugging you...I don't want you to miss me!! hehehe OH BOY YOU!!!!
-
you need a hug...HUGS!!!
-
I know my writing isn't for everyone, Susan. I completely understand. It doesn't exactly evoke the "warm & fuzzies" most times.
I feel much more at ease, however, when someone stops reading and reviewing my work abruptly that they simply tell me they don't care for the majority of the things I choose to write about.
That I can handle.
Thanks for letting me know otherwise, my friend.
Take care...
-
i'm sorry you thought even for a minute i was ignoring you. :-( Dont think that dean. Now I need a hug!
...Oops!
Sorry, I got a little carried away, hee-hee...
-
No you didn't...I love when people are just themselves. Hugs deano!!! i'm going to write something nice and creepy just for you!!! that will make you smile for sure!!!!!
Comment from RoostyNester
I liked your kyrielle sonnet poem. To be in dream land, where all is sweet and life lifts us into a state of peace. Very well done in verse and rhyme.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
|
I liked your kyrielle sonnet poem. To be in dream land, where all is sweet and life lifts us into a state of peace. Very well done in verse and rhyme.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
-
Awe thank you so much for reading and the great review!!!
Comment from June Sargent
Lyrical and beautiful kyrielle - on point with the rhyming scheme. Great artwork to accompany it. We all need some soothing words and dreams to counteract the relentless grief that seems to surround us these days. Enjoyed it. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
|
Lyrical and beautiful kyrielle - on point with the rhyming scheme. Great artwork to accompany it. We all need some soothing words and dreams to counteract the relentless grief that seems to surround us these days. Enjoyed it. Well done.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
-
Awe thank you for reading and the great review!!
Comment from tfawcus
I rather like the contemplative echoing effect that you have achieved with your repeating line. It's not easy to weave four repeats of the same line into a poem of this length without the line becoming obtrusive. You have managed it rather well. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
|
I rather like the contemplative echoing effect that you have achieved with your repeating line. It's not easy to weave four repeats of the same line into a poem of this length without the line becoming obtrusive. You have managed it rather well. Congratulations!
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
-
Awe thank you so much for the great review!! I'm smiling!
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
You picked a wonderful line to repeat as it makes each stanza different and yet very poignant.
Easy to read and peaceful content.Love the rhymes making it very gentle
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
|
You picked a wonderful line to repeat as it makes each stanza different and yet very poignant.
Easy to read and peaceful content.Love the rhymes making it very gentle
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
-
Thanks Barb!!! always appreciate your reviews!!!
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very good poem. I read recently that scientists are working on a way to let us control our dreams. That would be awesome.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
|
A very good poem. I read recently that scientists are working on a way to let us control our dreams. That would be awesome.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
-
wouldn't it be!!! thanks for reading and the review!! always appreciate!!
Comment from DR DIP
Beautiful, simply beautiful. That is so beautifully written Susan I loved your lines .
Some beautiful metaphors throughout. Thanks for sharing you are such a romantic
DANG YOUR EMOTIONAL HEART lol Is that what you say?
dip
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
 |
Beautiful, simply beautiful. That is so beautifully written Susan I loved your lines .
Some beautiful metaphors throughout. Thanks for sharing you are such a romantic
DANG YOUR EMOTIONAL HEART lol Is that what you say?
dip
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
-
it is ..That IMPOSSIBLE heart of mine!!!...thanks Dipster for reading and the wonderful review!!!!! and 6 stars!!! oh you!..sorry I haven't reviewed past couple days....but I do read yours every morning...hope all is well with my friend.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Gorgeous presentation that totally complements your sweet poetry. Romantic and peaceful, somehow. The repeating line is perfect. 'Soothing' is what came to mind as I read.
I should think the judges will take a good look at this one.
Best of luck!
Av
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
|
Gorgeous presentation that totally complements your sweet poetry. Romantic and peaceful, somehow. The repeating line is perfect. 'Soothing' is what came to mind as I read.
I should think the judges will take a good look at this one.
Best of luck!
Av
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
-
awe thank you for the sweet review!!! very much appreciated
Comment from BlueTiger
Beautiful job. You definitely convey a very soothing, peaceful feeling throughout this poem, both in word choice and the rhythm of the piece. The artwork that you chose sets the tone as well.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
|
Beautiful job. You definitely convey a very soothing, peaceful feeling throughout this poem, both in word choice and the rhythm of the piece. The artwork that you chose sets the tone as well.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
-
Thank you for reading and the review!!! I do appreciate it!!!
Comment from Richard J
Amazingly gorgeous, Susan!
In every aspect, you've composed what I perceive as the perfect balance, of poetic beauty, romance, sensuality, dreamy desires, satisfaction in spot-on tempo, rhymes, phraseology, sweet emotion, and embracing metaphor that draws the reader vividly, deeply, palpably into your moment ... each combine to create the epitome of excellent poetry, and the added heavenly presentation makes this one a virtual masterpiece!
Sometimes, I read your poems, marveling that you've been composing only a few months; simply amazing ... you'll have my vote!
Thank you, Dear Susan, for sharing the wonderment of your mind and heart! ~ Richard
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
|
Amazingly gorgeous, Susan!
In every aspect, you've composed what I perceive as the perfect balance, of poetic beauty, romance, sensuality, dreamy desires, satisfaction in spot-on tempo, rhymes, phraseology, sweet emotion, and embracing metaphor that draws the reader vividly, deeply, palpably into your moment ... each combine to create the epitome of excellent poetry, and the added heavenly presentation makes this one a virtual masterpiece!
Sometimes, I read your poems, marveling that you've been composing only a few months; simply amazing ... you'll have my vote!
Thank you, Dear Susan, for sharing the wonderment of your mind and heart! ~ Richard
Comment Written 07-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
-
Richard! we have an agreement....you can't write a review BETTER then the poem!!! hehe you are so sweet!! and the review feels like a hug!! I'm smiling!! see? :-)))))))))))))))) that's me. This poem is special to me. :-)))