Haiku (beneath smoky skies)
Observed and heard when temperatures reached 106 degrees.91 total reviews
Comment from LindaJWolff
Love the evergreen haiku...When I was a child, we had woods around and pine trees, pine seeds were so yummy when you cracked them open.
Keep it coming!
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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Love the evergreen haiku...When I was a child, we had woods around and pine trees, pine seeds were so yummy when you cracked them open.
Keep it coming!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Thank you, Linda, for your review. Yes, pine nuts are delicious. I will keep the poems coming.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I love collecting pine cones and I have many enormous cones from Tenerife when I went searching for them on a long walk in the mountains near Villa flor, your poem reminded me of that time, your brought back that memory with your delightful words, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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I love collecting pine cones and I have many enormous cones from Tenerife when I went searching for them on a long walk in the mountains near Villa flor, your poem reminded me of that time, your brought back that memory with your delightful words, love Dolly x
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Dolly, for your kind review. I am glad my poem brought back fond memories.
Comment from GWinterwin
Good picture with a very real message spoken in such few words. The fires raging across the U.S. is a real inferno. With temperatures skyrocketing along with heat from fires makes the air hot and dirty.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Good picture with a very real message spoken in such few words. The fires raging across the U.S. is a real inferno. With temperatures skyrocketing along with heat from fires makes the air hot and dirty.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, GWinterwin, it was hot and smoky when I heard these crackling pine cones near San Francisco on Friday as wildfires burned in the distance. On Saturday I went to Los Angeles where the largest brush fire in the city's history burned in a mountain range behind my family's apartment. In all of my years I have lived there, I have never seen a fire burn across an entire mountain range. It is contained now. Thank you for your review.
Comment from c_lucas
The wind and the weather sets the playing field. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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The wind and the weather sets the playing field. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, C__Lucas, the wind and the weather set the playing field. Thank you for your review and for praising my smooth flow of words and imagery.
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You're welcome, SC. Charlie
Comment from Curly Girly
Hi, Sis Cat.
Your haiku verse was a pleasure to read:
beneath smoky skies / beautiful, soft and descriptive--I see it.
wilted evergreens crackle -- / indicates warmth and change--I can hear it.
pine cones pop open / this action indicates new beginnings
Altogether, this is a lovely, descriptive natural verse to savour.
Best wishes in the contest; it's a strong contender.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Hi, Sis Cat.
Your haiku verse was a pleasure to read:
beneath smoky skies / beautiful, soft and descriptive--I see it.
wilted evergreens crackle -- / indicates warmth and change--I can hear it.
pine cones pop open / this action indicates new beginnings
Altogether, this is a lovely, descriptive natural verse to savour.
Best wishes in the contest; it's a strong contender.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, Curly Girly, many reviewers brought to my attention the positive side of extreme heat or forest fires causing dormant pine cones to open to disperse their seeds--new beginnings. Thank you for your review and contest well-wishes.
Comment from royowen
Well done with this haiku Andre, as usual, your grasp of the world around is a great gift, the perception and intuition that a writer needs is apparently incumbent in you, so well done with this short form gem, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Well done with this haiku Andre, as usual, your grasp of the world around is a great gift, the perception and intuition that a writer needs is apparently incumbent in you, so well done with this short form gem, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, Roy, thanks to my dog needing a walk, I happened to be in the right place at the right time to hear these pine cones open in a 106 degree heatwave while everyone was cool inside air conditioned homes. I used my gift of perception and intuition to seize upon to moment to create this poem. Thank you for your review and blessings.
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Well done
Comment from mermaids
Excellent haiku form that reflects a change in nature. I can hear the pine cones popping from the elevated temperature. Your lines connect together smoothly, creating a clear image.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
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Excellent haiku form that reflects a change in nature. I can hear the pine cones popping from the elevated temperature. Your lines connect together smoothly, creating a clear image.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
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Oh, thank you, Mermaids, for your generous review. Hearing pine cones pop open in a heat wave astounded me.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Andre,
What an awesome haiku, I hope you win first place in the contest. The imagery is amazing...I could put myself in the forest walking and listening to nature sounds. Well done, my friend.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Hello, Andre,
What an awesome haiku, I hope you win first place in the contest. The imagery is amazing...I could put myself in the forest walking and listening to nature sounds. Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2017
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Yes, Gypsy, I was not in a forest when I heard these pine cones pop open during a heatwave, but walking along a suburban street bordered by pines. Thank you for your generous, six star review for my awesome haiku. Thanks also for wishing me first place in the contest. We will see. : )
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and presentation.
-Your observation is pretty incredible.
-Very effective and vivid imagery, Sis Cat.
-You create a good word picture that
shows the situation you observed,
experiencing the extreme heat.
-Good satori line, as well.
-A good entry; good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
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-Nice image and presentation.
-Your observation is pretty incredible.
-Very effective and vivid imagery, Sis Cat.
-You create a good word picture that
shows the situation you observed,
experiencing the extreme heat.
-Good satori line, as well.
-A good entry; good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
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Yes, Pam, most times, I don't go outside during heatwaves, but my dog insisted on a walk. There, the crackling sound of pine cones popping open astounded me. I captured my observation in my Haiku. Thank you for your review.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sis Cat,
This is a fine haiku with excellent imagery of both sound and sight
Likely the heat causes them to expand until they pop
Good connection of lines one and two
and excellent use of the em dash as a cutting devise
Photo is a very good match
Well done, my friend
Good luck in the contest
RS
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
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Hello Sis Cat,
This is a fine haiku with excellent imagery of both sound and sight
Likely the heat causes them to expand until they pop
Good connection of lines one and two
and excellent use of the em dash as a cutting devise
Photo is a very good match
Well done, my friend
Good luck in the contest
RS
Comment Written 04-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2017
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Yes, RS, there are some pines that open open their cones to disperse seeds after forest fires, so for me to hear them pop open in 106 degree heat astounded me. I add to this observation the smell of smoke from distant brush fires. This all created a Haiku that is strong in visuals, smells, and sounds. Thank you for your review and for wishing me good luck in the contest.