Reviews from

The French Letter

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Le Rendez-vous des Amis "
A Novel

40 total reviews 
Comment from Mastery
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tons of good imagery in this chapter, Tony.

Like: "The wind caught my hat, and in running forward to recapture it, I tripped and fell onto a piece of broken glass. I felt a warm wetness on my sleeve as my right forearm started to ooze blood in sympathy with the tomatoes."

And:"I attempted a brave smile, but it came out as a weak, rather inane grin."

Also: " .....Standing right behind her, I was intoxicated by the musky, floral fragrance of her perfume. My heart started to beat a little faster as she donned her black sou'wester hat and turned to flash me a smile."

Good job from start to fini' Tony. :) Bob


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018

Comment from Mastery
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tons of good imagery in this chapter, Tony.

Like: "The wind caught my hat, and in running forward to recapture it, I tripped and fell onto a piece of broken glass. I felt a warm wetness on my sleeve as my right forearm started to ooze blood in sympathy with the tomatoes."

And:"I attempted a brave smile, but it came out as a weak, rather inane grin."

Also: " .....Standing right behind her, I was intoxicated by the musky, floral fragrance of her perfume. My heart started to beat a little faster as she donned her black sou'wester hat and turned to flash me a smile."

Good job from start to fini' Tony. :) Bob


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018

Comment from Mastery
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tons of good imagery in this chapter, Tony.

Like: "The wind caught my hat, and in running forward to recapture it, I tripped and fell onto a piece of broken glass. I felt a warm wetness on my sleeve as my right forearm started to ooze blood in sympathy with the tomatoes."

And:"I attempted a brave smile, but it came out as a weak, rather inane grin."

Also: " .....Standing right behind her, I was intoxicated by the musky, floral fragrance of her perfume. My heart started to beat a little faster as she donned her black sou'wester hat and turned to flash me a smile."

Good job from start to fini' Tony. :) Bob


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018

Comment from Mastery
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tons of good imagery in this chapter, Tony.

Like: "The wind caught my hat, and in running forward to recapture it, I tripped and fell onto a piece of broken glass. I felt a warm wetness on my sleeve as my right forearm started to ooze blood in sympathy with the tomatoes."

And:"I attempted a brave smile, but it came out as a weak, rather inane grin."

Also: " .....Standing right behind her, I was intoxicated by the musky, floral fragrance of her perfume. My heart started to beat a little faster as she donned her black sou'wester hat and turned to flash me a smile."

Good job from start to fini' Tony. :) Bob


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018

Comment from Mastery
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Tons of good imagery in this chapter, Tony.

Like: "The wind caught my hat, and in running forward to recapture it, I tripped and fell onto a piece of broken glass. I felt a warm wetness on my sleeve as my right forearm started to ooze blood in sympathy with the tomatoes."

And:"I attempted a brave smile, but it came out as a weak, rather inane grin."

Also: " .....Standing right behind her, I was intoxicated by the musky, floral fragrance of her perfume. My heart started to beat a little faster as she donned her black sou'wester hat and turned to flash me a smile."

Good job from start to fini' Tony. :) Bob


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
    Very many thanks both for your review and for the six stars, Bob. Much appreciated as always.Glad that the imagery is working well. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Tony,

Marvelous writing! I can see the actions taking place and everything is crystal clear. Favorite moment: the Impressionistic image of the rain against the window. Fab!

One small question:
1.) The last thing I wanted was to get involved in a police enquiry?
--> did you mean to have a q mark here?

Thanks!


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
    Thanks very much for your review, Robyn. I have captured that pesky little question mark and consigned it to the trash can.
Comment from Shanbreen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Tony, this is very well written. You have some interesting metaphors --Impressionist blur of liquid colour. (very nice).
The only thing, I can say is tht i, personally, wouldn't use "recapture" in

The wind caught my hat, and in running forward to recapture it,:

Perhaps, it's an American thing, but to "get it back," seems better.

Very well done.


 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
    Thanks, Shanbreen, for your comments and advice. I'll have another look at 'recapture', though from a British English perspective it looks all right to me.
reply by Shanbreen on 16-Aug-2018
    Tony, in retrospect it seems okay. When I first read it , the word "recapture" conjured up an image of a war. Sorry for the confusion.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Aww, Tony this is a great continuation and rather funny as well. You had me smiling when he fell all over the already broken tomatoes and cut himself. Great writing. I was right there with him. And now in the bar where Helen is waiting. Something is not right with her. Hmm. I'll have to wait and see. I'm enjoying this story. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
    Thanks for your review and comments, Ulla. I'm as intrigued as you to find out what happens next!
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting Tony. Helen seemed to have all the right answers to explain away all the questions Charles had been mauling over in his mind, but is he sold? I think not, she still appears to be beautiful, yet dangerous. Well done! Nancy:)

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
    Yes, Helen does seem to have some plausible answers, but there are still a few questions. Charles may need to be careful!
Comment from damommy
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I had to laugh at some of his predicament in helping the landlord. 'Holy potatoes' was hilarious.

Such good imagery throughout, and great descriptions. There is certainly something sinister about this woman. I believe she pushed Madame Durand to her death.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 16-Aug-2018
    Many thanks for the accolade of stars and your comments. Glad you enjoyed the humour. I wish I knew what is motivating Helen! Time will tell - I hope!