Comment from estory

Excellent

Plenty of intrigue as Kayla relates her story in Thailand. I think the allusions to Kayla getting sick is a bit distracting; you don't need it in this chapter, I would stay focused on the murder mystery and the journey to Phun Phin. exotic locals, travelling with partying Australians, trying to elude the clutches of all these Asian and French drug mafia types makes for a complex scenario. Will the black hand reach for them again? estory

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Thanks for another encouraging review, estory. Much appreciated. I shall probably edit out some of the extraneous details. Their main purpose is to break the dialogue so that it doesn?t just come across as ?talking heads?. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from royowen

Excellent

An excellent episode, and it satisfies the encumbent mystery permeating the story since the beginning. Very cleverly scribed Tony, with considerable detail being filled, Kayla is one smart character, figured all the angles, and is now on her way, it explains Helen's role in all this, and opens more detail. Well done, great writing, Tony, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Thanks for another encouraging review, Roy. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony

reply by royowen on 11-Dec-2018

Welcome Tony,

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Wow excitement ramping up...and good vibes as far as Jeanne not being trustworthy. But the thing that got me was her opening a bottle of beer with her teeth....lol that would break my teeth if I tried it...good chapter
God bless

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Thanks for another encouraging review, Jenny. Much appreciated. I did know people who opened beer bottles that way, but I never tried it. Teeth are too valuable! Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

I never travelled on Thai railways but I don't suppose they were that different from the run upt to Penang from Singapore, hot and slow.

This is an excellent example of showing rather than telling and it moved at a tremendous pace. I am sur that when it is all done you will have great fun hammering it into shape.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Nor me. I do remember the train that used to run up the west coast of Malaya to Butterworth though. A splendid journey at night in a sleeper. The journey Kayla took was a 12 hour one, covering around 650 km. As you say, hot and slow.

Comment from Tootsie55

Excellent

Well done. Looks like the SIXES are used up till Sunday, again. Such an exciting drawing in kind of story. Very descriptive and suspense filled.So glad we are connected. We need an Aussie Club in here. Should work on it.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Thanks for another encouraging review, Tootsie. Much appreciated. There are some great Aussie writers on site, but I also like the international perspective. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written chapter and Kayla's story reveals a different side of Jeanne that is hare for Hellen to believe, but Charles already notices that Jeanne is not all that she pretends.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Thanks for another encouraging review, Sandra. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Tony, this is a great new chapter and continuation to the story. Well, she's right mingling with the youths was a great piece of disguise. So what happened next? I can't wait to see. No sixes left. I've squandered them all away. All best. Ulla:))

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Thanks for another encouraging review, Ulla. Much appreciated. The thought of a six is more than enough! Best wishes, Tony

Comment from damommy

Excellent

Kayla's had a hard time staying safe. Charles was right all along not to trust Jeanne. I wonder what's in store for this threesome. A spellbinding chapter, Tony. Can't wait to learn more.

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 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Thanks for another encouraging review, Yvonne. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Very good continuation of the tale - Kayla's tale here.

"Since our carriage wasn't air-conditioned, they were getting through the case at a fair rate, and becoming louder and coarser as the journey continued. After a while, one of the boys leaned over and offered me a beer. I shook my head, but he insisted, pressing the cold bottle against my arm.
"I tensed like a wildcat, then took the beer from him and prised the bottle cap off with my teeth, flashing him a provocative smile. I realised that travelling with them would be the perfect cover. Just another tourist, out for a good time." -- this either needs to be two paragraphs or delete the speech marks halfway through

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 11-Dec-2018

Thanks for another encouraging review, Gareth. Much appreciated. I?ve now put a space between those two paragraphs. Best wishes, Tony