Reviews from

The French Letter

Viewing comments for Chapter 83 "Rasheed"
A Novel

27 total reviews 
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Nice one! I didn't see this coming at all - extremely well executed role reversal. As always, I thoroughly enjoyed it beginning to end. When Rasheed arrived I thought he was part of a team sent to protect them. When he pulled the gun, I thought he was on the other side sent to stop them. Now it looks like he is one of those they were sent to get LOL talk about being clueless in Lahore. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
    Thanks for your review, Monica. Rasheed has become rather more than the minor character that I envisaged at first. I appreciate your comments. I imagine that things will continue to hot up for these two, as we approach the climax.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Fine and fantastic taletelling, lineal soft forward plot development, courteous, cultural and contributory and realistic characters and dialogues; touring experience, surprises, curious ending; well said, well done. Liked and enjoyed the read. Write to Inspire, Change.

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
    Many thanks for this complimentary review. I appreciate your kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

OMG! Now what? This chapter certainly had its thrills and spills, Tony. I'm wondering how this will tie in with the letter that started all this. What a trip Charles has been on, and it's not over yet!! Well done, an exciting part well written. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Sandra. With all these stars flying about, anyone would think Charles had been hit on the head! Maybe he will be before long. As always, I appreciate your review. The letter? It's not forgotten. The final piece in the jigsaw. I just hope no-one upsets the table before I find the place for it.
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 26-Aug-2019
    LOL! I won't get near it then, I'm the clumsiest person you could meet. xx
Comment from JudyE
Excellent
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Goodness, the plot is thickening rapidly.

A few thoughts:
Early in the story, the narrator wrenches Rasheed round by the shoulder. I'm wondering if that's really possible in a car but perhaps in the heat of the moment.....

"I know a few words of it. He was affronted and alarmed by your rough handling. I told him it was a reaction to circumstances, and you meant no harm. - speech marks needed at the end of this paragraph.

We shook hands, though I still sensed that he was wary of me - maybe 'I sensed he was still wary of me'

I could appreciate that, and I couldn't understand why he'd put himself at risk for us. - should this perhaps be 'but I couldn't understand....'?

Helen continued her soothing and conciliatory approach. "You're a brave man, Rasheed. We are in your debt. How can we ever repay you?"

"Not necessary, memsaab. Kind deeds, caring for others, is good Karma. - should 'Karma' be lower case? Just askin'. :)

A mangy pye-dog lay panting under a Jessamine bush - should Jessamine have a capital? Again - just askin'.

"Very hot outside.," he said. - delete period after 'outside'

She reached for the TV remote and started to flick through the channels. I left her to it.
I'd scarcely begun to wash the city grime from my body when she called out, "Charles! Come quickly. They are showing details of the bombing on the news." Should there be an extra space between the above two paragraphs?

Best wishes
Judy


 Comment Written 26-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
    Oh, dear! I thought I'd already edited out most of these errors but must have forgotten to hit 'save'. All fixed now, and you picked up one or two that I missed. Is that a surprise? LOL
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Wow! Things have made a bad turn for Charles and Helen, with Rasheed being the obvious suspect, but it's dragged in members of MI6. Things are hotting up for our reluctant spies who are tending to stagger from one accident to another, excellent writing Tony, well done, blessings, Roy

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 Comment Written 26-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Roy. I'm staggering with them, trying to keep up! All the best, Tony
reply by royowen on 26-Aug-2019
    Great yarn Tony.
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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I do believe that in some previous existencd Charles must have complained that his life was boring and noe the gods are wreaking their vengeance. This chapter certainly had its moments and none of them were boring.

I think you are going to have one heck of a jobe drawing all these loose ends together eventually.

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 Comment Written 26-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Jim. Maybe I need the help of a sailor to teach me the art of whipping rope ends.
Comment from Cheryl I
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is very well done, Tony. It is full of excitement and suspense, and I am looking forward to reading the next part. It read very smoothly, even the dialogue. Nice job. Cheryl

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2019


reply by the author on 26-Aug-2019
    Thanks, Cheryl, both for this very supportive review and for the sixth star. Most generous. All good wishes, Tony