The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 87 "Abdul and the Pink Elephants"A Novel
31 total reviews
Comment from damommy
They just keep getting in deeper and deeper, and now they're deep in a foreign land. I'm not sure Charles is going to survive all this cloak and dagger business. I wonder way the CMG doesn't want to see Helen? Hmmmm.
I'm at a loss how this connects with the original letter that Charles found.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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They just keep getting in deeper and deeper, and now they're deep in a foreign land. I'm not sure Charles is going to survive all this cloak and dagger business. I wonder way the CMG doesn't want to see Helen? Hmmmm.
I'm at a loss how this connects with the original letter that Charles found.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Yvonne. Things will wind their way back to the letter before the end! I think so, anyway!
Comment from Sylvia Page
Everything seems to have been planned out in advance for them, starting with Abdul the taxi driver and shopping for suitable trekking gear and clothes. Wonder what the Deputy H.C wished to see Charles about that excluded Helen. It must have made her curious. See you in the next chapter. Well done.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Everything seems to have been planned out in advance for them, starting with Abdul the taxi driver and shopping for suitable trekking gear and clothes. Wonder what the Deputy H.C wished to see Charles about that excluded Helen. It must have made her curious. See you in the next chapter. Well done.
Sylvia
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your comments and continued support, Sylvia. Appreciated. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Gail Denham
Another excellent chapter . Good going - everything makes sense in this chapter and it flows smoothly. I like the last paragraph - great way to end this chapter. Enjoyed reading your chapter.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Another excellent chapter . Good going - everything makes sense in this chapter and it flows smoothly. I like the last paragraph - great way to end this chapter. Enjoyed reading your chapter.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Gail. I appreciate your review and comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This certainly walks a path of many twists and turns which is really its engaging charm. While I a sure Helen will have no problem trekking (nothing seems to phase her), I doubt he is going to handle it well given the fact he's already balked at the idea. I think this makes much sense as public transportation of any kind is still either off limits or a big risk. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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This certainly walks a path of many twists and turns which is really its engaging charm. While I a sure Helen will have no problem trekking (nothing seems to phase her), I doubt he is going to handle it well given the fact he's already balked at the idea. I think this makes much sense as public transportation of any kind is still either off limits or a big risk. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Many thanks, Monica. I always value your comments and support. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Mistydawn
I wonder what the meeting is about. I hope it's nothing bad. The chapter is well-written, interesting. Your characters and their dialogue seem real, believable. Nice job.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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I wonder what the meeting is about. I hope it's nothing bad. The chapter is well-written, interesting. Your characters and their dialogue seem real, believable. Nice job.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Mistydawn. I appreciate your review and comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Ulla
Hmm trekking? For some reason, I can't see neither of them doing that. But what you don't do for your country! So the Deputy High Commissioner wants to see Charles in private. Hmm. Do I smell a rat? A great new chapter, Tony. I've been looking out for it. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Hmm trekking? For some reason, I can't see neither of them doing that. But what you don't do for your country! So the Deputy High Commissioner wants to see Charles in private. Hmm. Do I smell a rat? A great new chapter, Tony. I've been looking out for it. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Ulla. As always, I value your support and the extra star. All good wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
The intrigue continues. I think once a conversation develops between more than two people, speech tags become more necessary for the reader to keep abreast of who the speaker is.
"Trekking? What the hell's he talking about?" Helen looked at me..." I think the next paragraph of dialogue needs a speech tag as at first I wondered if this was Abdul speaking. Likewise, is the final paragraph spoken by Charles (I guessed) or Ash? It could be either without a tag.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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The intrigue continues. I think once a conversation develops between more than two people, speech tags become more necessary for the reader to keep abreast of who the speaker is.
"Trekking? What the hell's he talking about?" Helen looked at me..." I think the next paragraph of dialogue needs a speech tag as at first I wondered if this was Abdul speaking. Likewise, is the final paragraph spoken by Charles (I guessed) or Ash? It could be either without a tag.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Thanks for your comments about speech tags. I?ll make a couple of adjustments. Tony
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is another good chapter, Tony. I enjoyed reading it. The list of characters reappearing grows longer. The intensity of the RR trip, the station, and the secret meeting are all well-detailed. I still have my doubts about Helen. Jeanne, Rasheed and now Abdul and Ash. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully with Admiration. Jan
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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This is another good chapter, Tony. I enjoyed reading it. The list of characters reappearing grows longer. The intensity of the RR trip, the station, and the secret meeting are all well-detailed. I still have my doubts about Helen. Jeanne, Rasheed and now Abdul and Ash. Thanks for sharing. Respectfully with Admiration. Jan
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2019
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Thanks, Jan. I appreciate your review and comments. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was an interesting ending, Tony! I'll be waiting to see why he especially wants to see Charles. I'm sure Helen will be very interested too. lol. I really can't see the likes of Helen treking and camping, somehow. That will be another very interesting chapter, lol. If she's like me, she won't like it at all! Things are getting to boiling point, my friend, the bubbles in this mystery are getting ready to burst ... at least that's what it sounds like to me. Another superbly written chapter, my friend. Well done! :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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That was an interesting ending, Tony! I'll be waiting to see why he especially wants to see Charles. I'm sure Helen will be very interested too. lol. I really can't see the likes of Helen treking and camping, somehow. That will be another very interesting chapter, lol. If she's like me, she won't like it at all! Things are getting to boiling point, my friend, the bubbles in this mystery are getting ready to burst ... at least that's what it sounds like to me. Another superbly written chapter, my friend. Well done! :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Very many thanks, Sandra. I think both of them will be out of their comfort zone before long.
As always, I appreciate the sixth star. All good wishes, Tony.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
These are very literary characters, it seems. My favorite descriptive line was: We were met by a personable young man wearing horn-rimmed spectacles and a somewhat harassed air.
I think you are missing quotation marks at the end of this line: I'm sure that Ash will be able to keep Helen amused for a quarter of an hour.
With this line, I think I would punctuate it slightly differently:
Abdul stowed our gear in the boot, and soon had us speeding eastwards along the Kabul Highway, towards the Diplomatic Enclave; a journey of about thirty minutes.
I would do it like this:
Abdul stowed our gear in the boot and soon had us speeding eastwards along the Kabul Highway towards the Diplomatic Enclave, a journey of about thirty minutes.
Sounds like everyone is making progress! I expect Monty will be an able guide.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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These are very literary characters, it seems. My favorite descriptive line was: We were met by a personable young man wearing horn-rimmed spectacles and a somewhat harassed air.
I think you are missing quotation marks at the end of this line: I'm sure that Ash will be able to keep Helen amused for a quarter of an hour.
With this line, I think I would punctuate it slightly differently:
Abdul stowed our gear in the boot, and soon had us speeding eastwards along the Kabul Highway, towards the Diplomatic Enclave; a journey of about thirty minutes.
I would do it like this:
Abdul stowed our gear in the boot and soon had us speeding eastwards along the Kabul Highway towards the Diplomatic Enclave, a journey of about thirty minutes.
Sounds like everyone is making progress! I expect Monty will be an able guide.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2019
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Very many thanks, Crystie, for this very helpful review. Much appreciated. Tony.