Love Letter on a Clipboard
Part One~42 total reviews
Comment from shaffer40
You certainly built up plenty of curiosity with this well-written story about everyone's favorite subject (well, almost everyone's)--romance. You indicate four chapters. Does that mean it's going to be novella? I have written a novella, and it is 106 typed pages. Anyway, well done.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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You certainly built up plenty of curiosity with this well-written story about everyone's favorite subject (well, almost everyone's)--romance. You indicate four chapters. Does that mean it's going to be novella? I have written a novella, and it is 106 typed pages. Anyway, well done.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Everyone is clamoring for more, so today I?m working on a little surprise. You?ll see it this week, hopefully. Thank you for the excellent review and kind compliments. It is so appreciated. What The Blind Girl Saw series finishes this fall and hopefully goes to print. Are you printing your Novella? I would love to hear about it.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
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I've sent my novella to a contest. It's been rejected by two publishers. It's been edited and gone over and over, so there is a possibility I'll put it on Kindle. I also might try to publish a book of short stories and have the novella serve as the cover story. Oh, and the novella is a love story involving two middle-agers that takes place in the 1980s.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good image and very good story, Sally.
-I was curious to see what it was all about.
-I enjoyed it very much.
-You develop the character of Kristen
very well, and the story flows effortlessly.
-She is a conscientious nurse,
and very kind to the Captain.
-However, her love life
apparently needs some work.
-It's ironic that the person she has met
with online dating is her roommate's ex-husband.
-Back to square one and dating the old fashioned way,
but then there is the lavender, her favorite scent,
on a mysterious envelope, no less.
-The letter is beautifully written, but who would
send a letter like that and not identify
themselves, that is the question!
-It sounds like Kristen will have
a mystery to unravel.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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-A good image and very good story, Sally.
-I was curious to see what it was all about.
-I enjoyed it very much.
-You develop the character of Kristen
very well, and the story flows effortlessly.
-She is a conscientious nurse,
and very kind to the Captain.
-However, her love life
apparently needs some work.
-It's ironic that the person she has met
with online dating is her roommate's ex-husband.
-Back to square one and dating the old fashioned way,
but then there is the lavender, her favorite scent,
on a mysterious envelope, no less.
-The letter is beautifully written, but who would
send a letter like that and not identify
themselves, that is the question!
-It sounds like Kristen will have
a mystery to unravel.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thank you, dear Pam, for the excellent review and kind comments. I appreciate the improvements you sent by fanmail, as well. I have tended to everything and taken your good suggestions. I am a hopeless romantic! More to come. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
Comment from Sylvia Page
I see you are on to a new story. Nice start. Online dating did not work, I don't see it working for anyone. But it was a good experience. Wonder who the mystery admirer is...
Best
Sylvia
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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I see you are on to a new story. Nice start. Online dating did not work, I don't see it working for anyone. But it was a good experience. Wonder who the mystery admirer is...
Best
Sylvia
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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A little side bar. So glad you like and I?m appreciative of the excellent review and kind comments. Sending you my best today with kind regards,
Sally xo
Comment from fm wright
I love this. A wonderful type of secret admirer, only up a notch! It's a great beginning to what promises to be a beautiful story. Truly well written.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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I love this. A wonderful type of secret admirer, only up a notch! It's a great beginning to what promises to be a beautiful story. Truly well written.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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You are so kind to me. I?m delighted you enjoyed my love story. My husband and other good friend have encouraged me to do ,ore of these. I am a hopeless romantic to the core. I am deeply honored by the outstanding review and six star rating. Thank you, it means the world to me.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
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You're most assuredly welcome. It is truly worth the six!
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You are so incredibly kind. Thank you, again. :+))
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Then once again you are welcome!
Comment from Gail Denham
Interesting note on her clipboard - The story starts out a bit slow. I'd snap it along quicker and add dialog right from the start - also put short paragraphs. Make the reader want to read more.
When you get into patient interaction, that's good. you're using dialog and interspersing action.
The note on the clipboard is ok - but it says way too much at one time (in my opinion) - make it shorter - with some of the same emphasis, but leave some things to be said later I think.
Tension can be added by the note saying "I know you'd never consider me" or some such.
Some hint of who this ardent admirer might be could come earlier. She passes a fellow professional, someone holds the door open for her, a cup of hot coffee is handed to her. Something.
I feel there needs to be suspense and a draw to make this into a longer book. Some mystery, some tenseness,
And as always, with a story, the plot prob. should contain conflict.
I hope it's ok to give this many comments - but I know you're a good writer and you'll make it work.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Interesting note on her clipboard - The story starts out a bit slow. I'd snap it along quicker and add dialog right from the start - also put short paragraphs. Make the reader want to read more.
When you get into patient interaction, that's good. you're using dialog and interspersing action.
The note on the clipboard is ok - but it says way too much at one time (in my opinion) - make it shorter - with some of the same emphasis, but leave some things to be said later I think.
Tension can be added by the note saying "I know you'd never consider me" or some such.
Some hint of who this ardent admirer might be could come earlier. She passes a fellow professional, someone holds the door open for her, a cup of hot coffee is handed to her. Something.
I feel there needs to be suspense and a draw to make this into a longer book. Some mystery, some tenseness,
And as always, with a story, the plot prob. should contain conflict.
I hope it's ok to give this many comments - but I know you're a good writer and you'll make it work.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thank you for your review and critique.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a beautifully penned piece. It held my attention completely as the character is well developed early on and is completely believable and likable. This reminded me of the summer before my senior year, right after school let out I began getting anonymous letters each week in the mail that included the most wonderful poetry. The day before school started, the mysterious author revealed himself by calling my home. We were inseparable throughout our senior year. We still are very good friends. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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This is a beautifully penned piece. It held my attention completely as the character is well developed early on and is completely believable and likable. This reminded me of the summer before my senior year, right after school let out I began getting anonymous letters each week in the mail that included the most wonderful poetry. The day before school started, the mysterious author revealed himself by calling my home. We were inseparable throughout our senior year. We still are very good friends. Well done and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thank you, dear angel I am very encouraged to hear that you have a similar situation in your senior year. I am a hopeless romantic to the core. Sending my best today as always, Sally xo
Comment from Sugarray77
Awww, this is so romantic and sets my hear a flutter. I like this and I am looking forward to reading more of these clipboard serenades. Very well done, Sally.
Melissa
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Awww, this is so romantic and sets my hear a flutter. I like this and I am looking forward to reading more of these clipboard serenades. Very well done, Sally.
Melissa
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thank you, dear Melissa. I?m so glad you?re enjoying this. More to come very soon. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
Comment from the13thpoet
Good day to you Sally, hope this review finds you well. I enjoyed your latest offering, I may be a bit biased as I am a hopeless romantic. I love reading things like that because I don't think that kind of romance exists too much among this younger generation. I look forward to reading the rest. Good job!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Good day to you Sally, hope this review finds you well. I enjoyed your latest offering, I may be a bit biased as I am a hopeless romantic. I love reading things like that because I don't think that kind of romance exists too much among this younger generation. I look forward to reading the rest. Good job!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thank you, dear poet. Hello to you and many thanks for the kind review.mi am booking all the hopeless romantics, as I am the worst or best, however you want to view me.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal ,+)
Comment from JudyE
Wow, this promises to be very enjoyable. I wonder who Kristin's secret admirer is?
I just have one suggestion but feel free to ignore it. And I found one spag.
Everyone knew about her love of lavender. She didn't remember mentioning her plans to wrap a small bundle of the fragrant flowers and place them inside her wedding invitation. - maybe you could add, 'should she ever have one' at the end of this sentence. I read it as meaning she is going to get married.
The cranky, Mr. Lewis, was up first. - delete comma after 'cranky'
Have a great day
Judy
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Wow, this promises to be very enjoyable. I wonder who Kristin's secret admirer is?
I just have one suggestion but feel free to ignore it. And I found one spag.
Everyone knew about her love of lavender. She didn't remember mentioning her plans to wrap a small bundle of the fragrant flowers and place them inside her wedding invitation. - maybe you could add, 'should she ever have one' at the end of this sentence. I read it as meaning she is going to get married.
The cranky, Mr. Lewis, was up first. - delete comma after 'cranky'
Have a great day
Judy
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thank you, dear Judy. I appreciate the excellent review and helpful critiques. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal xo
Comment from Heather Knight
Aww! What a sweet story! Apart from being well written, it has the necessary dose of romance to be perfect.
It seems Kristin was wrong, there is love in her future... or so I hope.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Aww! What a sweet story! Apart from being well written, it has the necessary dose of romance to be perfect.
It seems Kristin was wrong, there is love in her future... or so I hope.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2019
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2019
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Thank you, dear Maria. I?m pleased you enjoyed it. I am a hopeless romantic and just needed an outlet.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo