Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Not so ordinary Gold"Musings of an old man -2020
28 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is a very beautiful and well written free verse poem you have penned about not so ordinary gold. You used great descriptive words and very lovely imagery from the art work you chose. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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This is a very beautiful and well written free verse poem you have penned about not so ordinary gold. You used great descriptive words and very lovely imagery from the art work you chose. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Bless you Teri, for your very kind and validating words.
Comment from Fonda Little
Your comparisons are marvelous! The picture also went great with this poem! I love that saying, "All that glitters isn't gold!" Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Your comparisons are marvelous! The picture also went great with this poem! I love that saying, "All that glitters isn't gold!" Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Fonda, my young friend, thank you very much!
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
I think this unrhymed poem is philosophical in several ways. Sweets from honeybees excels over the gold od precious, it's better than a "king's ransome; and glittering does not evaluate a rare metal's worth.
Pure gold positively does symbolize value and status. Still, greed for wealth, prestige and class frequently corrupts and comes short of glory.
Don
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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I think this unrhymed poem is philosophical in several ways. Sweets from honeybees excels over the gold od precious, it's better than a "king's ransome; and glittering does not evaluate a rare metal's worth.
Pure gold positively does symbolize value and status. Still, greed for wealth, prestige and class frequently corrupts and comes short of glory.
Don
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Don, I am so appreciative of your six-star validation, Thank you!
Comment from susand3022
Hi JLR, This is a really cool and imaginative Free Verse about gold. I love the way you took it from one form to another... Spun gold to honey to wedding bands... nicely done :)
Just one typo:
...When bands of (gold)...
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Hi JLR, This is a really cool and imaginative Free Verse about gold. I love the way you took it from one form to another... Spun gold to honey to wedding bands... nicely done :)
Just one typo:
...When bands of (gold)...
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Susan thank you it is fixed,
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
Fascinating poetic exploration of the subject of gold! You could frame that, and put it on display in a fine jewelry shop, even on 5th Avenue. It would be very nice, especially for couples with stars in their eyes, buying their wedding bands.
Some minor suggested edits:
"and equity the real
value of their coveted treasure." "equity" or "equate"? Or maybe even "weigh"?
Or, When --> Or, when
stardust dream's --> dreams
the golden stair's, --> stairs
Your free verse poem is beautiful and succeeds in taking the reader on a wonderful journey through time and space. I like the way you close with the stairway to heaven -- I hadn't heard that it was gold, only the streets, when you get to the New Jerusalem -- but, close enough! The picture is perfect.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Fascinating poetic exploration of the subject of gold! You could frame that, and put it on display in a fine jewelry shop, even on 5th Avenue. It would be very nice, especially for couples with stars in their eyes, buying their wedding bands.
Some minor suggested edits:
"and equity the real
value of their coveted treasure." "equity" or "equate"? Or maybe even "weigh"?
Or, When --> Or, when
stardust dream's --> dreams
the golden stair's, --> stairs
Your free verse poem is beautiful and succeeds in taking the reader on a wonderful journey through time and space. I like the way you close with the stairway to heaven -- I hadn't heard that it was gold, only the streets, when you get to the New Jerusalem -- but, close enough! The picture is perfect.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Mary Kay thanks for your wise suggestions. Made some changes that improve this.
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I didn't know it was you, JLR! I guess that's what "blinders" are for. You're very welcome, my friend.
Comment from royowen
I think you've captured the purpose of gold. It's not a useful as it's rare cousins, platinum, silver and palladium, but worth in its metaphorical benefit to the writer, and the symbol of wealth and the fealty of marriage and the bond, and the fact it doesn't rust or tarnish with oxidation. Well done Jim, good writing, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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I think you've captured the purpose of gold. It's not a useful as it's rare cousins, platinum, silver and palladium, but worth in its metaphorical benefit to the writer, and the symbol of wealth and the fealty of marriage and the bond, and the fact it doesn't rust or tarnish with oxidation. Well done Jim, good writing, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Roy, my friend thank you this was fun to run with.
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Well done
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Good point re nectar gold--sure takes lots of bees to make golden honey. I like your thoughts on the symbol of wedding vows being priceless. And religious people would surely agree with the last verse. (Dreams and stairs are plurals not possessives so shouldn't have apostrophes---don't worry, I don't take off stars for grammar.) Cheers. LIZ
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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Good point re nectar gold--sure takes lots of bees to make golden honey. I like your thoughts on the symbol of wedding vows being priceless. And religious people would surely agree with the last verse. (Dreams and stairs are plurals not possessives so shouldn't have apostrophes---don't worry, I don't take off stars for grammar.) Cheers. LIZ
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Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Liz, thanks and edits are implemented
Comment from Sally Law
I say it's the gold nectar of the bees, or the gold stardust. It's a toss up. One is sweet and the other is divinely beautiful.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the contest,
Sally :)
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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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I say it's the gold nectar of the bees, or the gold stardust. It's a toss up. One is sweet and the other is divinely beautiful.
Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for the contest,
Sally :)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2020
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Sally, I smile back, thanks my friend!