Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Star Falling"Musings of an old man -2020
27 total reviews
Comment from Mary Furlong
You have certainly discovered the possibilities that this poetic has to offer. I have always enjoyed the falling star legend. You have given it a new dimension. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
  |
You have certainly discovered the possibilities that this poetic has to offer. I have always enjoyed the falling star legend. You have given it a new dimension. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
-
Mary, the stars are a perfect platform from which we can postulate upon many questions we seek answered.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Mystery Author,
I have seen two falling stars on their way to a crash landing in the ocean. Their trail was the most beautiful shade of emerald green. It was spectacular. One ended up in the Atlantic, off the eastern coast of Nova Scotia. The other landed in Miramichi Bay, near Fox Island in eastern New Brunswick.
"I ponder, why must
such a lonely passing
been witnessed by such as I?" (I suggest,
I ponder, why must
such a lonely passing
be witnessed by such as I?)
"My thoughts are known not" ... ( this doesn't sound right to me, I suggest
My thoughts are not known)
"My thoughts are known not, wondering
whose soul above (pass) from east to west!" ... (the verb must agree with the singular noun, I suggest
My thoughts are not known, wondering
whose soul above passes east to west!)
"Is this departing seen by more than me?" ... (I suggest,
Is this departure seen by more than me?)
A shooting star sure makes a fantastic flash of color on its way out, eh? Like Autumn leaves, the fiery reds and sparkling golds, before they decorate the forest floor.
Good Luck in the Etheree contest! I like your chosen subject.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
|
Hi Mystery Author,
I have seen two falling stars on their way to a crash landing in the ocean. Their trail was the most beautiful shade of emerald green. It was spectacular. One ended up in the Atlantic, off the eastern coast of Nova Scotia. The other landed in Miramichi Bay, near Fox Island in eastern New Brunswick.
"I ponder, why must
such a lonely passing
been witnessed by such as I?" (I suggest,
I ponder, why must
such a lonely passing
be witnessed by such as I?)
"My thoughts are known not" ... ( this doesn't sound right to me, I suggest
My thoughts are not known)
"My thoughts are known not, wondering
whose soul above (pass) from east to west!" ... (the verb must agree with the singular noun, I suggest
My thoughts are not known, wondering
whose soul above passes east to west!)
"Is this departing seen by more than me?" ... (I suggest,
Is this departure seen by more than me?)
A shooting star sure makes a fantastic flash of color on its way out, eh? Like Autumn leaves, the fiery reds and sparkling golds, before they decorate the forest floor.
Good Luck in the Etheree contest! I like your chosen subject.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
-
Kimbob, thanks good insights. I value your review.
Comment from Miss Cookie Atkinson
I like the artwork you choose to go with your poem,they are a perfect match.
You captured my attention from the first line to the last.
Thank you for sharing this interesting poem
Cookie
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
|
I like the artwork you choose to go with your poem,they are a perfect match.
You captured my attention from the first line to the last.
Thank you for sharing this interesting poem
Cookie
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
-
Cookie, thank you.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Etheree about seeing the star in the sky falling and we wonder if we are the only one who sees the star falling at that moment. Their might be but everyone makes it their personal experience.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
|
A very well-written Etheree about seeing the star in the sky falling and we wonder if we are the only one who sees the star falling at that moment. Their might be but everyone makes it their personal experience.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
-
Sandra, yes individuation is special.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This is an orderly Etheree in good 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables speaks about souls passing in the night, star falling; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
|
This is an orderly Etheree in good 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables speaks about souls passing in the night, star falling; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
-
Thanks from afar, have a great evening!
Comment from royowen
Well done, such a privilege to see one of these magnificent scenes, wending their way across the night sky, with nothing to stop them but the atmosphere, which tends to leave very little, well done, excellent etheree, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
|
Well done, such a privilege to see one of these magnificent scenes, wending their way across the night sky, with nothing to stop them but the atmosphere, which tends to leave very little, well done, excellent etheree, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
-
Roy, thank you.
-
Most welcome
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Star Falling", is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. Not for a moment, would I attempt to answer, this talented poet's rhetorical question. To me, this is certainly a six. Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
 |
"Star Falling", is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. Not for a moment, would I attempt to answer, this talented poet's rhetorical question. To me, this is certainly a six. Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 03-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2020
-
My dear pen pal ?thank you for your kind review of which I am always so grateful to receive.