The Boatman
How far can one get with cheek?35 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this writing prompt entry. I had hoped for a happy ending. LOL
I settled on the bench of the tiny timber craft and he use the long axe like a gondola pole, (very minor but you need a comma after 'craft')
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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I enjoyed reading this writing prompt entry. I had hoped for a happy ending. LOL
I settled on the bench of the tiny timber craft and he use the long axe like a gondola pole, (very minor but you need a comma after 'craft')
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Good catch - thank you! I'm really happy you liked this one, Barbara :-).
Mike
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Trust you to die twice!! Not satisfied with your wife stabbing you in the eye for cheating on her, you have to get the Ferry man to lop off your head as well!! Now that's what I call a stroke (axe) of real bad luck!!! Lol. Great story, Mike. Good luck in the contest! I really enjoyed this one. :)) Sandra xxxx
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Trust you to die twice!! Not satisfied with your wife stabbing you in the eye for cheating on her, you have to get the Ferry man to lop off your head as well!! Now that's what I call a stroke (axe) of real bad luck!!! Lol. Great story, Mike. Good luck in the contest! I really enjoyed this one. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Sandra :-). As so often happens, it started off as a throwaway piece and became more in depth as I was writing.
To answer your other question, Dragon with a Capital D is coming soon - just got a few bits to get out the way first!
Mike
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How often that happens! It's good that it does, otherwise we'd never write anything. I see it winning the contest.
I'm glad to hear that Dragon will be back soon! I love that story! xx
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I have to say I really like this piece and you are an exquisite writer. I think your use of words is superb and I feel humbled after reading this one. I have a lot to learn from you.
I like writer tried to sell a poem as a payment in the end.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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I have to say I really like this piece and you are an exquisite writer. I think your use of words is superb and I feel humbled after reading this one. I have a lot to learn from you.
I like writer tried to sell a poem as a payment in the end.
Excellent.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much - what a lovely, flattering review. I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting read about this writer who can not pay the fare taking his final ride - to oblivion. Some Notes:
-The first paragraph is full of grand illusions: "sand between granite slabs" to demonstrate the gritty voice," and "a purple sky roiled with the anguished thrashings of lost souls."
-In paragraph two, may want to reconsider making the first sentence, a run-on one, into two sentences. Perhaps something like I looked at him standing like an action man on a bath toy. Then, His bare barrel chest...
-The boatman seems to have a beef with writers.
-"he use the long axe" should be he used the long axe.
-Agree with the assessment people who deliberately ask leading questions to gain sympathy need to find other things to do.
-Meeting the woman at the book club, and her providing inspiration to write, typical of a writer's muse. Never know where such inspiration comes from.
-Several cliches throughout including "doves released from captivity," and "guts from a disembowlled enemy," paint vivid scenes.
-Attack of the wronged wife demonstrated by her stabbing the writer "through the eye with a kitchen knife."
-"Writers never prosper." So true.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Interesting read about this writer who can not pay the fare taking his final ride - to oblivion. Some Notes:
-The first paragraph is full of grand illusions: "sand between granite slabs" to demonstrate the gritty voice," and "a purple sky roiled with the anguished thrashings of lost souls."
-In paragraph two, may want to reconsider making the first sentence, a run-on one, into two sentences. Perhaps something like I looked at him standing like an action man on a bath toy. Then, His bare barrel chest...
-The boatman seems to have a beef with writers.
-"he use the long axe" should be he used the long axe.
-Agree with the assessment people who deliberately ask leading questions to gain sympathy need to find other things to do.
-Meeting the woman at the book club, and her providing inspiration to write, typical of a writer's muse. Never know where such inspiration comes from.
-Several cliches throughout including "doves released from captivity," and "guts from a disembowlled enemy," paint vivid scenes.
-Attack of the wronged wife demonstrated by her stabbing the writer "through the eye with a kitchen knife."
-"Writers never prosper." So true.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much, Brett - I really appreciate the detailed response. Most of all, I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
Comment from John Ciarmello
I loved this, Mike. The prompt is original and looks like a lot of fun. I may take a poke at it if I can learn quickly how to walk and chew gum at the same time, lol. Tom should get a lot of entries on this one. Best, JohnC.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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I loved this, Mike. The prompt is original and looks like a lot of fun. I may take a poke at it if I can learn quickly how to walk and chew gum at the same time, lol. Tom should get a lot of entries on this one. Best, JohnC.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you, John. It was a fast, off the cuff write, but I enjoyed it!
I hate to be this guy, but was the 4 star rating intentional? It's fine if it is - I only ask because your comments sounded more positive.
Mike
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OMG!! Mike, That was not intentional at all! I wouldn't do that to you your one of my favorites. I'm going back in!