Guided by Faith
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Chapter 16 C"Can faith guide our path?
42 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Poor Emma. She tries so hard to be independent and to prove she doesn't need any help, but she clearly does! Seth is doing a great job of being a gentleman, but being there for Emma, too. He seems to know her limitations, and is trying to help her realize he has her best interests at heart. I'm glad they are getting things worked out to their mutual advantage.
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
  |
Poor Emma. She tries so hard to be independent and to prove she doesn't need any help, but she clearly does! Seth is doing a great job of being a gentleman, but being there for Emma, too. He seems to know her limitations, and is trying to help her realize he has her best interests at heart. I'm glad they are getting things worked out to their mutual advantage.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Barbara, another excellent chapter. I think the kind way Seth takes care of Emma is sweet. I'm glad Emma is allowing Seth to take care of her. We'll done.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
 |
Hello, Barbara, another excellent chapter. I think the kind way Seth takes care of Emma is sweet. I'm glad Emma is allowing Seth to take care of her. We'll done.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
Thank you for sharing this kind review.
Comment from damommy
This was quite the cozy scene. Maybe after this, Emma will relax a bit and let her true feelings for Seth show. It would be a shame to lose him, but I don't think she willl.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
|
This was quite the cozy scene. Maybe after this, Emma will relax a bit and let her true feelings for Seth show. It would be a shame to lose him, but I don't think she willl.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
We'll see. I can promise it's coming. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
I enjoyed reading as always! Your story is continuing nicely. I know you edit well, I just see a couple things. Astro's The team is Astros the singular name.
I was a bit distracted by the word indicated, this Chapter. Maybe go back to that paragraph or two and change a couple indicated to simpler words asked replied etc indicated to my mind is when someone is pointing something out, or some other particular distinctive need to gain attention to something. As it was used here, indicated is not quite natural and um the person always giving you kudos for your natural dialogues. Your perfection is why I noticed this today. ;)
Think about them sitting there with soup are they indicating? I'm not sure that's a good example I mean maybe bring that couple of short paragraphs down to a more natural voice like, "It's yummy of course " or something other than the indicating my friend. Emma, hoping to enjoy more yummy soup says yes or whatever it is I don't mean to write there things exactly. I just think some of the back and forth about the foods could be either removed or more interesting.
Maybe they eat as they watch the game? Something to seem more natural there.
A few more notes than usual only because I care.
The car stuff driving etc is excellent btw. That part seems natural and the sleeping arrangements all natural. I love the clever interactions between the two and it's just the food back and forth that could use some change.
This part of your chapter did need to feel relaxed because she needs rest so I do get that. It really was the indicated word in such a relaxed setting that threw me off.
Looking forward to more as usual,
Alexandra :)) x
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
|
I enjoyed reading as always! Your story is continuing nicely. I know you edit well, I just see a couple things. Astro's The team is Astros the singular name.
I was a bit distracted by the word indicated, this Chapter. Maybe go back to that paragraph or two and change a couple indicated to simpler words asked replied etc indicated to my mind is when someone is pointing something out, or some other particular distinctive need to gain attention to something. As it was used here, indicated is not quite natural and um the person always giving you kudos for your natural dialogues. Your perfection is why I noticed this today. ;)
Think about them sitting there with soup are they indicating? I'm not sure that's a good example I mean maybe bring that couple of short paragraphs down to a more natural voice like, "It's yummy of course " or something other than the indicating my friend. Emma, hoping to enjoy more yummy soup says yes or whatever it is I don't mean to write there things exactly. I just think some of the back and forth about the foods could be either removed or more interesting.
Maybe they eat as they watch the game? Something to seem more natural there.
A few more notes than usual only because I care.
The car stuff driving etc is excellent btw. That part seems natural and the sleeping arrangements all natural. I love the clever interactions between the two and it's just the food back and forth that could use some change.
This part of your chapter did need to feel relaxed because she needs rest so I do get that. It really was the indicated word in such a relaxed setting that threw me off.
Looking forward to more as usual,
Alexandra :)) x
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
I'll read over that area. I was thinking Emma wasn't feeling well enough to really get into the broth. Maybe I'm wrong. I will certainly think about it because I want it to be a good write. I appreciate the help.
-
Oh it's beyond good. I meant if it could be improved those were the areas. You start at excellent though. :))
Comment from Paul McFarland
Okay, Barb! When are they going to get together? I think Seth is going to have to massage some of that pain away. He probably took a massage course before he went to the police academy.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
|
Okay, Barb! When are they going to get together? I think Seth is going to have to massage some of that pain away. He probably took a massage course before he went to the police academy.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
Both of these two are taking their time. Emma because she's afraid of getting hurt, and Seth because of being hurt. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Seth is a very good man, Emma has to come to grips with the thought and the fact that she is ery lucky to have him in her life. Despite her inborn stubborn nature, she has to cut him some slack and allow him more room in her heart. I know she is afraid of being hurt but you sometimes have to take the risk.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
|
Seth is a very good man, Emma has to come to grips with the thought and the fact that she is ery lucky to have him in her life. Despite her inborn stubborn nature, she has to cut him some slack and allow him more room in her heart. I know she is afraid of being hurt but you sometimes have to take the risk.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
Emma has a lot of growing to do. I have a feeling she's up to the challenge. Thank you for the kind review.
-
I am very much enjoying this story. I bless the day I read your first chapter three books ago. You have never disappointed.
Comment from BethShelby
Seth is a good person. He's the kind one needs for a husband when the time is right. I'm enjoyed the relationship these two have. They are both being very careful not to let thing get out of hand and still seem unsure of how the other feels about them.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
|
Seth is a good person. He's the kind one needs for a husband when the time is right. I'm enjoyed the relationship these two have. They are both being very careful not to let thing get out of hand and still seem unsure of how the other feels about them.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Sounds like it's Seth who's guiding Emma's life. Even though she's suffered injuries, he's being overly-solicitous. He's fussing over what she eats and getting her medicine, etc. It's bad for Emma, making her feel like she can't do anything. Your dialogue does an excellent job of showing character traits. You have me wanting to tell the characters what to do, but I'm sure they wouldn't listen. I'd definitely tell Seth not to treat Emma like a child. That shows you have me engaged. I hope your Meet the Author event was a great success. judi
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
|
Sounds like it's Seth who's guiding Emma's life. Even though she's suffered injuries, he's being overly-solicitous. He's fussing over what she eats and getting her medicine, etc. It's bad for Emma, making her feel like she can't do anything. Your dialogue does an excellent job of showing character traits. You have me wanting to tell the characters what to do, but I'm sure they wouldn't listen. I'd definitely tell Seth not to treat Emma like a child. That shows you have me engaged. I hope your Meet the Author event was a great success. judi
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
I'm glad you're engaged. Yes, Seth wants to take care of her. She is fighting back some. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from JSD
Aww cute. Some lovely romance here, sensitively written. Not all men are ogres then. Just wonder if you want 'a small bowl of gratin'? Otherwise a great piece.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
|
Aww cute. Some lovely romance here, sensitively written. Not all men are ogres then. Just wonder if you want 'a small bowl of gratin'? Otherwise a great piece.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
Thank you for the kind review. I will check that area out.
Comment from Jim Wile
So far the attraction is definitely there for both of them, but I think it's time that we begin to see some lengthier discussions about things. I hope it won't be too much longer until we learn about Seth's past some more, and that he can reveal this to Emma in something longer than quick sentences between them. They banter a lot, but it would be nice to see some longer, meatier conversations between them where we see them explore each other's vulnerabilities and deeply-held values.
How far into the novel are we at this point?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Emma eyes closed with pain as she reached for... - Needs a possesive
Once in a while I'm later, when that happens, I'll have Carl... - This is a runon sentence. Perhaps it should be: "Once in a while, I run later, and when that happens, I'll have Carl..."
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
|
So far the attraction is definitely there for both of them, but I think it's time that we begin to see some lengthier discussions about things. I hope it won't be too much longer until we learn about Seth's past some more, and that he can reveal this to Emma in something longer than quick sentences between them. They banter a lot, but it would be nice to see some longer, meatier conversations between them where we see them explore each other's vulnerabilities and deeply-held values.
How far into the novel are we at this point?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Emma eyes closed with pain as she reached for... - Needs a possesive
Once in a while I'm later, when that happens, I'll have Carl... - This is a runon sentence. Perhaps it should be: "Once in a while, I run later, and when that happens, I'll have Carl..."
Comment Written 20-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2023
-
I've made the corrections. I appreciate the help. I can't remember what chapter Seth opens up to Emma. I do know it's coming up fairly soon.