Guided by Faith
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Chapter 31 A"Can faith guide our path?
41 total reviews
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
A sad ending to the chapter for sure. I like how you did the paragraphs, so a person knows what is happening from the beginning to the end of the heart attack episode. Great writing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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A sad ending to the chapter for sure. I like how you did the paragraphs, so a person knows what is happening from the beginning to the end of the heart attack episode. Great writing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. I think many people know when the end is coming. One suggestion: the man had a massive heart attack. Your words make him seem very comfortable. He is probably on oxygen with a mask. Machines are beeping in the room. Most patients pull the mask down to speak, and their words are stilted between breaths. I would use your description in a hospice setting. Just the nurse in, coming out. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. I think many people know when the end is coming. One suggestion: the man had a massive heart attack. Your words make him seem very comfortable. He is probably on oxygen with a mask. Machines are beeping in the room. Most patients pull the mask down to speak, and their words are stilted between breaths. I would use your description in a hospice setting. Just the nurse in, coming out. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the suggestion. I'll do a check on that area.
Comment from eliz100
This is another excellent chapter. I think many people know when the end is coming. One suggestion: the man had a massive heart attack. Your words make him seem very comfortable. He is probably on oxygen with a mask. Machines are beeping in the room. Most patients pull the mask down to speak, and their words are stilted between breaths. I would use your description in a hospice setting. Just the nurse in, coming out. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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This is another excellent chapter. I think many people know when the end is coming. One suggestion: the man had a massive heart attack. Your words make him seem very comfortable. He is probably on oxygen with a mask. Machines are beeping in the room. Most patients pull the mask down to speak, and their words are stilted between breaths. I would use your description in a hospice setting. Just the nurse in, coming out. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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It came across twice.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a sad ending, Emma and Sue are going to be devastated. But Keith had time to tell them both how much he loved them, and told Seth he had his blessing to marry his daughter. Of course, Seth will have to tell her the truth about what Keith said to him if she asks. I hope she doesn't hold it against him that he didn't say so when she asked him. We know how Emma can get. Well done, another great chapter. Just one nit below. :) Sandra xx
Jake studied Emma, before she (he) said, "As soon as
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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What a sad ending, Emma and Sue are going to be devastated. But Keith had time to tell them both how much he loved them, and told Seth he had his blessing to marry his daughter. Of course, Seth will have to tell her the truth about what Keith said to him if she asks. I hope she doesn't hold it against him that he didn't say so when she asked him. We know how Emma can get. Well done, another great chapter. Just one nit below. :) Sandra xx
Jake studied Emma, before she (he) said, "As soon as
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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I changed that little word. Thank you for the catch. I appreciate the help.
Comment from damommy
Oh, no! I'm sorry to lose Keith. This will certainly change a lot of things. Poor Susan and Emma. What heartbreak for them. It seems Emma and Seth have to villains to look out for - Peggy and Calhoun. I liked the long chapter.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Oh, no! I'm sorry to lose Keith. This will certainly change a lot of things. Poor Susan and Emma. What heartbreak for them. It seems Emma and Seth have to villains to look out for - Peggy and Calhoun. I liked the long chapter.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the kind review. Yes, Emma's world is upside down.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
What time you are getting off? Switch "are" and "you".
Where you have "EMT examined Keith . . ." I would tell us what EMT stands for, not that most of us don't already know, but it should be spelled out the first time it appears.
Same with ER waiting room - maybe "the emergency room's waiting area"
lessened in place of lessoned
I have "some things" I need to say instead of "somethings"
As if the heart attack isn't enough, Ronnie shows up to make it worse.
This was a sad chapter, but reminds us that even in the midst of a fairy-tale romance, bad things happen. Hopefully, the good that will come from it will be Seth and Emma becoming even closer.
See you next week:-)
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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What time you are getting off? Switch "are" and "you".
Where you have "EMT examined Keith . . ." I would tell us what EMT stands for, not that most of us don't already know, but it should be spelled out the first time it appears.
Same with ER waiting room - maybe "the emergency room's waiting area"
lessened in place of lessoned
I have "some things" I need to say instead of "somethings"
As if the heart attack isn't enough, Ronnie shows up to make it worse.
This was a sad chapter, but reminds us that even in the midst of a fairy-tale romance, bad things happen. Hopefully, the good that will come from it will be Seth and Emma becoming even closer.
See you next week:-)
xo
Pam
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the help. I appreciate it and have made the changes.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is very sad, and is obviously going to have major repercussions on what follows. It's going to really affect Emma's behaviour I guess. The story line was great, but I found the writing a little rough around the edges. kay
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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This is very sad, and is obviously going to have major repercussions on what follows. It's going to really affect Emma's behaviour I guess. The story line was great, but I found the writing a little rough around the edges. kay
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Allieas
Great chapter! I'm enjoying your story and getting to know the characters! I felt anxious about Keith with your characters
Some notes:
"Knowing the July 4th activities would cause her to be out late; Emma had planned to come to work Tuesday in time for the lunch crowd." - I think it would probably flow better with a comma here instead of a semicolon.
and:
"Thanks. Cedarville's only twenty minutes away."
"But it seems like hours when you're dead tired."
I felt a little confused about who said this second bit
Awesome work - thanks for sharing and happy writing!
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Great chapter! I'm enjoying your story and getting to know the characters! I felt anxious about Keith with your characters
Some notes:
"Knowing the July 4th activities would cause her to be out late; Emma had planned to come to work Tuesday in time for the lunch crowd." - I think it would probably flow better with a comma here instead of a semicolon.
and:
"Thanks. Cedarville's only twenty minutes away."
"But it seems like hours when you're dead tired."
I felt a little confused about who said this second bit
Awesome work - thanks for sharing and happy writing!
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the kind review and the help. I appreciate both.
Comment from Gunner Lil
Fantastic chapter. It reads so well, it being long, does not matter. The great dialogue moves the story along with a outstanding pace.
Lots of emotion and love.
This reader wants more.
Thank you!!
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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Fantastic chapter. It reads so well, it being long, does not matter. The great dialogue moves the story along with a outstanding pace.
Lots of emotion and love.
This reader wants more.
Thank you!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You introduce a very real and frightening incident into your story here that many of us have had to deal with in our family and now Emma's Father is suffering with his heart. You made this sound so real Barbara and your genuine dialogue brought such authenticity to this story, another fine chapter, love Dolly x x x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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You introduce a very real and frightening incident into your story here that many of us have had to deal with in our family and now Emma's Father is suffering with his heart. You made this sound so real Barbara and your genuine dialogue brought such authenticity to this story, another fine chapter, love Dolly x x x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.