Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Cowboy Up"A book of Poetry & Writing
87 total reviews
Comment from WRITER1
Being any type of farm person is a very hard life. There doesn't seem to be much time to enjoy yourself. I liked this piece and really think you did a good job.
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Being any type of farm person is a very hard life. There doesn't seem to be much time to enjoy yourself. I liked this piece and really think you did a good job.
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from jmdg1954
I work in a deli and automatically it came to me.. Sandwich Up!! Oh well, not the same impact as yours. The poem was very well written and had a smooth flow and generated lots of thought process for me as I read it. Nicely done my friend...
John
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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I work in a deli and automatically it came to me.. Sandwich Up!! Oh well, not the same impact as yours. The poem was very well written and had a smooth flow and generated lots of thought process for me as I read it. Nicely done my friend...
John
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, wonderful picture. i like the way you described the term Cowboy Up. excellent imagery that you used. there's nothing better than a cowboy.
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, wonderful picture. i like the way you described the term Cowboy Up. excellent imagery that you used. there's nothing better than a cowboy.
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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thanks for reading
Comment from AmorGentil
You are a deep thinker, a deep cowboy thinker indeed, The rough life of a Cowboy is the rough of the life's experiences
The ups and down of your horse (life)
Nice!
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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You are a deep thinker, a deep cowboy thinker indeed, The rough life of a Cowboy is the rough of the life's experiences
The ups and down of your horse (life)
Nice!
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you
Comment from MikiB
Hey, I like this! It's very well written little poems adding up to a total. The picture chosen is of a rodeo, I think, so it goes with the poem.
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Hey, I like this! It's very well written little poems adding up to a total. The picture chosen is of a rodeo, I think, so it goes with the poem.
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you Miki
Comment from Jay Squires
You are one of the poets I look most forward to reading, deepwater. There is such a raw honesty to your words. The pain and the redemption is right there on the page. I would be honored to shake your hand. Since I can't do that I will do what I can to honor your work and, I hope, add a comment here and there that my experience as a writer might help improve its structure without diminishing its content. Please take this in the manner in which it is intended. Here goes:
I think about this term, and what it's all about? [If I understand the full intent of this sentence, it shouldn't have a questionmark after it. If you are saying "I wonder what the word Cowboy up means," then it is a statement and shouldn't end as a question. If you are, indeed, trying to emphasize the questioning part of the line, then you might consider doing this: After "term" use a semicolon or a period. Then, leaving off the "and" the emphasis is on the question, ending thus: What's it all about? I think, though, you intended the former.]
Going hungry, and telling yourself "I'm not starving', I'm just lean" [I love the impact of this line. It says so much. You do need punctuation, however, before the closed quote.]
It's knowing what's wrong, and doing what's right;
though it means, you're going home alone tonight.
[WOW! Those are two powerful lines.]
Look deep within yourself, and.
"Cowboy up" [Again, a beautiful two lines (only I have to suggest no period after "and". If you want to stress what is to follow: "Cowboy Up", then use three dots (an ellipsis): otherwise remove the period. It draws attention to itself and takes attention away from the powerful refrain of the last two lines.
Very very good in content and self-expression. In keeping with the FanStory guidelines, I'm deducting a star for the grammatical changes needed. But will add it back if you let me know that the corrections have been made or defend their not being made. In either respect, this is some GOOD STUFF!!!! I love the rawness of your poetry. I love the way you don't stray away from the poem's very electric spine!
Blessings,
Jay
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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You are one of the poets I look most forward to reading, deepwater. There is such a raw honesty to your words. The pain and the redemption is right there on the page. I would be honored to shake your hand. Since I can't do that I will do what I can to honor your work and, I hope, add a comment here and there that my experience as a writer might help improve its structure without diminishing its content. Please take this in the manner in which it is intended. Here goes:
I think about this term, and what it's all about? [If I understand the full intent of this sentence, it shouldn't have a questionmark after it. If you are saying "I wonder what the word Cowboy up means," then it is a statement and shouldn't end as a question. If you are, indeed, trying to emphasize the questioning part of the line, then you might consider doing this: After "term" use a semicolon or a period. Then, leaving off the "and" the emphasis is on the question, ending thus: What's it all about? I think, though, you intended the former.]
Going hungry, and telling yourself "I'm not starving', I'm just lean" [I love the impact of this line. It says so much. You do need punctuation, however, before the closed quote.]
It's knowing what's wrong, and doing what's right;
though it means, you're going home alone tonight.
[WOW! Those are two powerful lines.]
Look deep within yourself, and.
"Cowboy up" [Again, a beautiful two lines (only I have to suggest no period after "and". If you want to stress what is to follow: "Cowboy Up", then use three dots (an ellipsis): otherwise remove the period. It draws attention to itself and takes attention away from the powerful refrain of the last two lines.
Very very good in content and self-expression. In keeping with the FanStory guidelines, I'm deducting a star for the grammatical changes needed. But will add it back if you let me know that the corrections have been made or defend their not being made. In either respect, this is some GOOD STUFF!!!! I love the rawness of your poetry. I love the way you don't stray away from the poem's very electric spine!
Blessings,
Jay
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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thank you jay for all your good comments i am making a list of comments then i will change and add, thanks again for reading
Gary
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My pleasure, Gary.
Comment from percival86jack
Our occupations my friend couldn't be further apart but yours has always intrigued me as I'm sure it does with many. I guess it's the true romance and connection with the "old west"! Kudos, Jack
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Our occupations my friend couldn't be further apart but yours has always intrigued me as I'm sure it does with many. I guess it's the true romance and connection with the "old west"! Kudos, Jack
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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thank you Jack
Comment from bhogg
My profession is sales, and somehow, "SALESMAN UP" doesn't cut it. This is a very good poem - well structured with good rhyme and meter. An easy read. You say you have just started writing - I'd call this a very good start!
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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My profession is sales, and somehow, "SALESMAN UP" doesn't cut it. This is a very good poem - well structured with good rhyme and meter. An easy read. You say you have just started writing - I'd call this a very good start!
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I really enjoyed this, my friend...
the content, the flow to the words,
rhythm and rhyme, all excellent....
all in all, most impressive.
Keep them coming, cowboy!
Margaret
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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I really enjoyed this, my friend...
the content, the flow to the words,
rhythm and rhyme, all excellent....
all in all, most impressive.
Keep them coming, cowboy!
Margaret
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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thank you
Comment from LYLE
deepwater,
That is about as good as I have ever read about the work and life habits of the cowboys, or any man of the land.
When I was young and very dumb, I once thought about riding a bull just for the fun of it. I went around to the front and looked him straight in the eye. He looked back at me just as straight in the eye. I decided that
I would forget the whole idea. That was one mean looking bull.
Sincerely, Lyle
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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deepwater,
That is about as good as I have ever read about the work and life habits of the cowboys, or any man of the land.
When I was young and very dumb, I once thought about riding a bull just for the fun of it. I went around to the front and looked him straight in the eye. He looked back at me just as straight in the eye. I decided that
I would forget the whole idea. That was one mean looking bull.
Sincerely, Lyle
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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thanks Lyle smiling..please dont go play with the Bull