Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Black Moon Glinting"An extended story in poem form
89 total reviews
Comment from minopavlic
I liked this a lot regardless of its length, a short story within a poem, its true as it is said that history repeat itself. The only thing different are characters and technology.
Great piece of writing
no_obstacle
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I liked this a lot regardless of its length, a short story within a poem, its true as it is said that history repeat itself. The only thing different are characters and technology.
Great piece of writing
no_obstacle
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you :-). I'm relly enjoying tlling an extended story in poetic form.
Mike
Comment from Mastery
Wow! Mike this is good poetry, no doubt, however, way, way too long for my taste. Sorry. I enjoy poetry but not lengthy stuff...just being honest with you...Bob
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Wow! Mike this is good poetry, no doubt, however, way, way too long for my taste. Sorry. I enjoy poetry but not lengthy stuff...just being honest with you...Bob
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Hey Bob, no problems. This saga started because I couldn't decide between starting a new novel and writing more poetry, and ended up doing something in between. It was never goin to be to everyone's tase :-)
Mike
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You are one helluva writer no matter what...bob
Comment from Connie P
Wow, what a great undertaking, an epic tale told in a rhyming poem. You've done a fabulous job with this. It is my first excerpt to read but won't be my last.
Wonderful job!
My favorite stanza:
Despite their vicious, sick intent,
I didn't own the blame
to hate these creatures, pitiful.
All victims. All the same.
Connie
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Wow, what a great undertaking, an epic tale told in a rhyming poem. You've done a fabulous job with this. It is my first excerpt to read but won't be my last.
Wonderful job!
My favorite stanza:
Despite their vicious, sick intent,
I didn't own the blame
to hate these creatures, pitiful.
All victims. All the same.
Connie
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Connie :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed the read!
Mike
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
Interesting story - and rather well written too :} There's only one line I 'stumbled' on:
She loosed my bonds and begged me to
* I think you could take out the last word and replace it with a comma - 'to' stemmed the flow.
The imagery is good - I'd have to read previous chapters to get the full story, but it had me involved even though I haven't - which is good.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Interesting story - and rather well written too :} There's only one line I 'stumbled' on:
She loosed my bonds and begged me to
* I think you could take out the last word and replace it with a comma - 'to' stemmed the flow.
The imagery is good - I'd have to read previous chapters to get the full story, but it had me involved even though I haven't - which is good.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Ing. Another reviewer suggested I changed the 'loosed' to 'freed', which may also help to clarify the syllable flow and hence make the 'to' stand out less.
I'm so glad you enjoyed the read, and heartened that it worked even stand-alone.
Mike
Comment from Sharesy
This was a great read, Mike. I t6hought for sure from the last poem, that he was a gonner for sure. I really liked this one. It was kind of gorey, but you explained that at the get-go. Nicely done. I loved it.
best regards,
Sharesy
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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This was a great read, Mike. I t6hought for sure from the last poem, that he was a gonner for sure. I really liked this one. It was kind of gorey, but you explained that at the get-go. Nicely done. I loved it.
best regards,
Sharesy
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Sharesy :-). I'm really pleased with how this chapter turned out; hope is all the sweeter when it's light births in the darkest moments.
Mike
Comment from fionageorge
I certainly did enjoy this long but incomplete masterpiece. Wow, you have certainly put some time and effort into this well structured and free flowing poem, which has excellent rhyme and rhythm. I look forward to the next instalment!
Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I certainly did enjoy this long but incomplete masterpiece. Wow, you have certainly put some time and effort into this well structured and free flowing poem, which has excellent rhyme and rhythm. I look forward to the next instalment!
Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Marijke. I'm so glad you enjoyed this installment!
Mike :-)
Comment from smileycloud
hey
certainly did enjoy the very riveting interesting piece of extremely artisitic literature
the characters are very close to the page and their encounter was well expressed and the scenes so vivid the whole movie ran across the screen looking forward to more
have a smiley day
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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hey
certainly did enjoy the very riveting interesting piece of extremely artisitic literature
the characters are very close to the page and their encounter was well expressed and the scenes so vivid the whole movie ran across the screen looking forward to more
have a smiley day
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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I am having a most smiley day, thank you smileycloud :-). Your words are wonderful; thank you so much for taking the time to read through and share them with me.
Mike
Comment from Nicki_Mist
This is a story in a poem and read very good. An interesting poem from deciet of the girl to helping jhim in the end and they fall in love and the world to start anew. Great imagery.
Nicole
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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This is a story in a poem and read very good. An interesting poem from deciet of the girl to helping jhim in the end and they fall in love and the world to start anew. Great imagery.
Nicole
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you, Nicole :-). I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this installment.
Mike
Comment from Hitcher
F*ck! I still can't six you mate, it is starting to annoy the .... out of me. You actually out did the chapters that came before and I didn't think that was possible Mike, this was SO COOL. Your story telling talent is shining through now, loved the suspense, the impending doom and then the Kill bill scene. I know you ain't finished by a long shot, you are enjoying yourself too much. And that my good man is just great... EXCEPTIONAL!!
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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F*ck! I still can't six you mate, it is starting to annoy the .... out of me. You actually out did the chapters that came before and I didn't think that was possible Mike, this was SO COOL. Your story telling talent is shining through now, loved the suspense, the impending doom and then the Kill bill scene. I know you ain't finished by a long shot, you are enjoying yourself too much. And that my good man is just great... EXCEPTIONAL!!
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Mate, after a review like that, who needs sixes? I thought this chapter was better, which is why I spent my Meter Poem prize money promoting it. Now I just have to deal with all the replies to reviews I have to write! So glad you enjoyed it, Hitch; I'm really getting into this one now.
Mike
Comment from wierdgrace
This is awesome and I can see there well be so much more, and I can not wait, so awesome, excellent poem, and story, keep up the great writing, no errors or revisions, structure perfect.
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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This is awesome and I can see there well be so much more, and I can not wait, so awesome, excellent poem, and story, keep up the great writing, no errors or revisions, structure perfect.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 03-May-2010
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Thank you! I'm really hitting my stride with this one, so there should be plenty more adventures for the wandering man to get into. So glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike