Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "October Morn"A book of Poetry & Writing
150 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
Blimey...another top payer, though I'm not complaining.
I sense real regret and even despair in what you have done in life, but if we have a soul then we need to analyse and learn from our 'mistakes'.
Chin up, my friend - you're sure not alone.
Best wishes, Ray.
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Blimey...another top payer, though I'm not complaining.
I sense real regret and even despair in what you have done in life, but if we have a soul then we need to analyse and learn from our 'mistakes'.
Chin up, my friend - you're sure not alone.
Best wishes, Ray.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from Bryan G
This a very thought provoking poem. What is our legacy? What will we be remembered for? What can we expect as we lay down on some cold October morn? As a cancer survivor I have often wondered about these things. Great work.
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This a very thought provoking poem. What is our legacy? What will we be remembered for? What can we expect as we lay down on some cold October morn? As a cancer survivor I have often wondered about these things. Great work.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was about the last thoughts as a life comes to an end. I liked the regrets and the knowledge that maybe different actions throughout the life wouldn't have changed the outcomes. When you are young, tomorrow is just so far away. As we age, we realize that tomorrow comes pretty quickly. Great poem.
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This was about the last thoughts as a life comes to an end. I liked the regrets and the knowledge that maybe different actions throughout the life wouldn't have changed the outcomes. When you are young, tomorrow is just so far away. As we age, we realize that tomorrow comes pretty quickly. Great poem.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from elchupakabra
This piece was pretty solid. There were certain parts I thought were a bit klunky in the beginning, some awkward phrasing here and there, but I like that you crafted some solid assonances within the linework, it helped with the flow of the work. Great stuff here, thanks for sharing.
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This piece was pretty solid. There were certain parts I thought were a bit klunky in the beginning, some awkward phrasing here and there, but I like that you crafted some solid assonances within the linework, it helped with the flow of the work. Great stuff here, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from Eric1
I like what you are trying to portray and say with your beautiful poetry, this one works exceptionally well with the same line beginning and ending the poem, Brilliant!
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I like what you are trying to portray and say with your beautiful poetry, this one works exceptionally well with the same line beginning and ending the poem, Brilliant!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from Bill Schott
This reflective piece carries a lot of the load we all share. We consider our efforts, our successes, and what is left to do. We compare with what we perceive as the expectation. October gives me the sense of one' assessment at the midlife period, when there is more time behind than ahead. Nicely put together.
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This reflective piece carries a lot of the load we all share. We consider our efforts, our successes, and what is left to do. We compare with what we perceive as the expectation. October gives me the sense of one' assessment at the midlife period, when there is more time behind than ahead. Nicely put together.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from Jackarrie
I like the name of this sad poem, October Morn, it gives drama to the end of a life. A life that has lived and wants to leave a legacy of something positive.
A well written free verse with some rhyme,
Mary
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I like the name of this sad poem, October Morn, it gives drama to the end of a life. A life that has lived and wants to leave a legacy of something positive.
A well written free verse with some rhyme,
Mary
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from Dean Kuch
October Morn, the cold twilight of our lives. Sad, really, that you felt you never learned your destiny, never fulfilled what God intended for you to do, deepwater. Or perhaps I just misinterpreted the meaning of your poem.
In any event, this melancholy musing was captivating and well presented, in a nice, free style package.
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October Morn, the cold twilight of our lives. Sad, really, that you felt you never learned your destiny, never fulfilled what God intended for you to do, deepwater. Or perhaps I just misinterpreted the meaning of your poem.
In any event, this melancholy musing was captivating and well presented, in a nice, free style package.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from comanalbert
Always remember about our memories .. pleasant or less pleasant. We can not change the mistakes of the past, we just do not repeat them. We will live by our children as our parents lived and still live through us. Great poem. I really enjoy it.
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Always remember about our memories .. pleasant or less pleasant. We can not change the mistakes of the past, we just do not repeat them. We will live by our children as our parents lived and still live through us. Great poem. I really enjoy it.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
Comment from DR DIP
GW I really do like your writings, they are always thought provoking no matter what format you present them in.
jus a couple of questions
is this written in rhyme format or is it purely coincidental that I am searching for a rhyming beat or is it written in free verse with some rhyming lines just a couple of suggestions if its rhyme format;
Now comes the time to lay me down, on this cold October morn_
Memories of life which I have lived with all the discomforts, some glory
Regrets from the past did set my road, which I was made to follow
Never knowing my quest or what lay ahead as I walk this avenue, some sorrow
History will tell of great men who fell, but what of us that did follow?
My world a dream, the life I've seen; never knowing if there was a morrow
As I lay at rest, did my life pass the test? Set by my father before?
Regrets, I have some, did it change the outcome, to what was so expected
My family I leave, with examples to lead, or given advice as to follow
But now comes the time, to lay me down; on this cold October morn_
I have just added a few commas which I think substantiate the beat of the poem this is purely my opinion only but isn't that what reviewing is all about?
with respect
dip
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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GW I really do like your writings, they are always thought provoking no matter what format you present them in.
jus a couple of questions
is this written in rhyme format or is it purely coincidental that I am searching for a rhyming beat or is it written in free verse with some rhyming lines just a couple of suggestions if its rhyme format;
Now comes the time to lay me down, on this cold October morn_
Memories of life which I have lived with all the discomforts, some glory
Regrets from the past did set my road, which I was made to follow
Never knowing my quest or what lay ahead as I walk this avenue, some sorrow
History will tell of great men who fell, but what of us that did follow?
My world a dream, the life I've seen; never knowing if there was a morrow
As I lay at rest, did my life pass the test? Set by my father before?
Regrets, I have some, did it change the outcome, to what was so expected
My family I leave, with examples to lead, or given advice as to follow
But now comes the time, to lay me down; on this cold October morn_
I have just added a few commas which I think substantiate the beat of the poem this is purely my opinion only but isn't that what reviewing is all about?
with respect
dip
Comment Written 18-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2014
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thank you i did take your opinion Gary