Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Part three, Chapter 15"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
88 total reviews
Comment from ScarletClearwater
I really enjoyed the beginning about the part where she has to kill her demons. It was a very sweet exchange. Great job with this piece.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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I really enjoyed the beginning about the part where she has to kill her demons. It was a very sweet exchange. Great job with this piece.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from fictionwriter
I'm glad to see you still here and writing. I can't get too much of the sense of this story. I feel however that her thoughts should be less of full sentences.
His big blue eyes and dimples are dangerous. His aftershave is intoxicating. (His blue eyes. Those dimples. Dangerous. His aftershave. Intoxicating. (I think this lends more realism to the thoughts. We don't think in full sentences and it seems force to put them that way. Just my opinion though.
Great job.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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I'm glad to see you still here and writing. I can't get too much of the sense of this story. I feel however that her thoughts should be less of full sentences.
His big blue eyes and dimples are dangerous. His aftershave is intoxicating. (His blue eyes. Those dimples. Dangerous. His aftershave. Intoxicating. (I think this lends more realism to the thoughts. We don't think in full sentences and it seems force to put them that way. Just my opinion though.
Great job.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review. I will look into that.
Comment from Herb
Another well penned chapter. You can feel it begining to wind up. Good solid dialougue and narritive. I hope this will one day be on one of those airport shelves.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Another well penned chapter. You can feel it begining to wind up. Good solid dialougue and narritive. I hope this will one day be on one of those airport shelves.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Good work, Barbara. Anna is finally showing signs of fighting back. I suspect the alarm going off is some kind of set-up tho'. Enjoyed the read. Av :o)
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Good work, Barbara. Anna is finally showing signs of fighting back. I suspect the alarm going off is some kind of set-up tho'. Enjoyed the read. Av :o)
Comment Written 23-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from randomzed
All in all, an enjoyable read ....just enough piquance and mystery to keep the reader interested.
I have questions:
If Anna is striving to get out of an abusive marriage, why did she say she was divorced?
Or should I read more of the story?
Why are some phrases in a different font?
And on a very personal note:
'Troy' is too soap opera-ish a choice of name.
These are the quandries of someone entering at the middle of the story.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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All in all, an enjoyable read ....just enough piquance and mystery to keep the reader interested.
I have questions:
If Anna is striving to get out of an abusive marriage, why did she say she was divorced?
Or should I read more of the story?
Why are some phrases in a different font?
And on a very personal note:
'Troy' is too soap opera-ish a choice of name.
These are the quandries of someone entering at the middle of the story.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review. Anna's divorce is final, but her ex still haunts her.
Comment from tango494
I loved the imagery you painted with "you need to kill your demons.". I am in a very similar place right now in my life and can certainly relate to this idea. I love the rich detail and believability that you give your characters. You ended this submission very well and I can't wait to see how your story continues. Another awesome job.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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I loved the imagery you painted with "you need to kill your demons.". I am in a very similar place right now in my life and can certainly relate to this idea. I love the rich detail and believability that you give your characters. You ended this submission very well and I can't wait to see how your story continues. Another awesome job.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from James McCorkle
Poor Anna is finding it difficult to adjust to her new condition in life, and is being harassed by 'phone calls, but she is content when with Troy. Will she find the happiness which she seeks? Only time, and our author can tell. There is sadness in this story, but also a tender happiness which I hope is going to blossom into full bloom.James McCorkle.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Poor Anna is finding it difficult to adjust to her new condition in life, and is being harassed by 'phone calls, but she is content when with Troy. Will she find the happiness which she seeks? Only time, and our author can tell. There is sadness in this story, but also a tender happiness which I hope is going to blossom into full bloom.James McCorkle.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
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Praise given where praise is due. James.
Comment from Kylie Bundy
I like the story you've got going, and the characters are believable. I didn't notice anything to mark, so great job on this chapter. I like how you've got a love story going on with people trying to get better!
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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I like the story you've got going, and the characters are believable. I didn't notice anything to mark, so great job on this chapter. I like how you've got a love story going on with people trying to get better!
Comment Written 22-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Connie P
When Anna started watching television, I had a sinking feeling. I see she's being stalked but has just about had her fill. Can she stop that idiot (yet dangerous) ex and start a life with Troy ... guess I'll have to wait.
Connie
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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When Anna started watching television, I had a sinking feeling. I see she's being stalked but has just about had her fill. Can she stop that idiot (yet dangerous) ex and start a life with Troy ... guess I'll have to wait.
Connie
Comment Written 22-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Barbara :)
This segment is good, I can't give it a "Sixer" but seems to move along okay. You're fifteen chapters in and Anna is still in the same struggle and frame of mind? I can't say much because I've only hopped in here and there, so no critique.
My big question is, what's taking so long to finish the book?
Onward.
Ted
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Hi Barbara :)
This segment is good, I can't give it a "Sixer" but seems to move along okay. You're fifteen chapters in and Anna is still in the same struggle and frame of mind? I can't say much because I've only hopped in here and there, so no critique.
My big question is, what's taking so long to finish the book?
Onward.
Ted
Comment Written 22-Jan-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2012
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Because of health issues I usually only post about 500 words at a time. Thank you for your kind review.
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Okay, just asking.