Reviews from

Lonely Hearts Meet

Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "part 2, Chapter 16"
Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.

73 total reviews 
Comment from Sefiros
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As I'm just getting into the story at the current segment I find myself detached from the events. However you have all the interesting story. Can't wait to read the rest.

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 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the review.
Comment from RebelRose
Excellent
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Boy, there seems to be no end to the evil Bobby and his family have in store. It's hard to imagine people being that mean but you hear about it every day. You provide a very realistic picture of such.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Excellent
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Another well written step forward toward the discovery of who is harrassing Anna, and at whose behest. Well done, Barbara. :) Nancy

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Penny 4 your thought
Excellent
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This is another fine chapter. This is a very well written prose. I like your style and the way that this flows. Your charters are well rounded and believable. With this sense In my book a solid five.
Penny 4 your thought.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from jclark
Excellent
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Another thought provoking and suspenseful chapter well worth reading. I enjoy the intertwining lives and the support and love they all have for each other. You constantly give hope to victims of domestic violence. As always, I enjoyed reading this chapter.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bookishfabler
Excellent
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I thought it was rather short. Thanks for sharing another wonderful chapter. I'm glad to be back, I hope I can keep up again. I miss reading and reviewing and especially writing. I am looking forward to the next chapter, and saw no nits or spags here.
hugs HEidi

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi barbara,

The game seems to be getting rather wider than just personal now, one hopes that the stolen records and the perpetrator can be traced by the police - this doesn't sound like the work of the drunken bum Anna's husband was ...

Good chapter

Patrick

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review and insight.
Comment from Hollyhock
Excellent
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I'm not familiar with your work but this part chapter makes me want to read more. Your style is concise and the conversation moves the plot on easily. Little details add realism
"The sound of a loud muffler caused her to move closer to Paul"
Anna is already stressed and frightened and instinctively seeks close physical security.
Try "Troy took a drink of iced tea" immediately after
"Mom I thought I'd dealt with my past"
I think it makes the follow-on easier from the last section.
Not sure about the bit where Anna overhears their conversation, would she interrupt with
"My problems are...."
or would Troy see her and comfort her first?
Just a few picky things because I enjoyed it.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for the kind review and I will check into the those areas. I can't have Troy see her first because I am in Anna's POV.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Excellent
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Barbara, normally I don't review a chapter unless it is the first. This one grabbed my interest and I'm glad I did.

This story has four characters that have suffered from some type of abuse. Betty get beat up and Troy trying to stop it, gets hurt in the melee. Anna is suffering from a mental abuse (I believe). Troy relapsing because of Betty is very sad.

You have weaved each persons problems very well.

Very well thought out and very well written,,,,Jim

I am going to try and go back to the beginning to understand what is and what has happened.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from mdivya
Excellent
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I'm confused about the lines where Troy tells Betty ( his mom?) about his mom getting beaten. Does he mean Betty herself? In the beginning, as a suggestion, when Anna picks up the paper...where was it? One the windshield maybe? I love details. You write welll.

 Comment Written 06-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2012
    Well at the beginning of this novel I said that Troy was adopted by Betty and Paul because he witnessed his mother getting murdered by his step-father. I reminded people of this in the author's notes. Thank you for the kind review.